Look into your child’s eyes. What can be seen in them? Innocence, joy, tenderness and unconditional love. These two oceans are bottomless and beautiful. But they are still naive, harmless and stupid. And how can you let these eyes cry?
The fact that children are a huge responsibility and an important component of life, I learned, becoming a mother. All my ideas about children were very stupid. And if the care of a child (his hygiene, food, purchase of things, etc.) seems to be difficult, then much more problems arise in raising children.
We all come from childhood
Recently, my mother and I remembered childhood: I own, she own. In principle, my childhood was good: my mother and I traveled a lot, were in sanatoriums. I rested in the summer with my grandmother and in the children’s camp, I had a lot of friends. But even in such a sweet period of life as a child, there are grievances, agree. Child resentment is a very serious thing, I tell you.
My brother, in his 37 years, still remembers his father those days when he did not let him go to football, did not go with him to the circus. And he was offended that Dad put him in the corner for bad grades. Being a Losers is bad, but what can you do if some items are simply not given.
I think many have their grievances against their parents. It seems to me that every person has them, and this is purely personal. Sometimes these children’s resentments do not give rest and interfere with life. But some parents cause irreparable injury to the baby. With their own hands, they develop in the crumb self-doubt, vulnerability, callousness and cruelty. Then it is no longer a matter of insult, but of the real trauma of a child’s vulnerable soul.
Family is the holiest
A small person is not so afraid of difficulties if he, when he comes home, feels secure. When he finds protection and love in his family, no quarrels and offenses are terrible. Now imagine what happens to the crumbs, if as an offender or a tyrant are people on whom the child is counting on? What happens to the soul of the crumbs when it is waiting for support and help from adults who, instead of loving, do the opposite?
The child simply has no one to rely on and he withdraws into himself. Sometimes even the best friends cannot help if there are quarrels in the family. The kid experiences all the pain inside himself. And such insults, as a rule, develop into complexes, thereby worsening the life of an adult.
I, as a mother, try to give the children the best. I try to be right and good, but I’m not holy. Sometimes I scream. And when there is no patience at all, I can slap. This does not justify me at all, I know, this is not pedagogical. But just otherwise they do not obey.
But such a slap is harmful to some. And the child can take offense at many things. It is precisely for this reason that I say that education is a very difficult topic for me. I’m trying my best to do everything right. But no one knows what exactly the child can be offended. And there are no perfect people. And those too can have mistakes.
And yet I decided to highlight some factors that our children can be offended. I decided to list them for myself, so as not to make these mistakes in any way. It is important.
1. Humiliation at all.
To scold or offend a child in public is to injure him. Be it a playground, or kindergarten (school), shop. Children are very impressionable. If you scold a child or beat it is humiliating, then this humiliation doubles in public. It seems to the child that everyone laughs at him, he is ashamed, and this will not lead to anything good.
Scold to be alone. And it is better not to scold, but to explain everything sensibly to the younger generation. And you can praise and with all, in public. This will raise the child’s self-esteem, verified.
I communicate with one mommy. She is all so good and right, only her daughter is very uncommunicative and sad. Whatever the child does, everything is wrong for mom. The craft could be made and more beautiful, the dishes were washed out badly, the linen wasn’t so hung out.
In each act, you can find a flaw, but is it worth it to find fault with this? You can do better together or show how this is done correctly, and not to say that everything is wrong. It turns out simply that the child constantly falls short and does not deserve praise, cannot achieve her mother’s gratitude and thanks.
Baby is very important to feel needed. Maybe he had washed the dishes incorrectly (there were stains or dirt on it), but he did it as he can, on his own initiative, in order to help his mother. And if the mother does not recognize the help, then she does not need it. The child is unlikely to appear later hunt to help adults.
Remember if you made fun of you as a child? This is an unpleasant phenomenon. But okay, peers. And if the parents themselves joke about the child? I think this is unacceptable. Why, therefore, humiliate your own child?
It is a shame to the child, and it is completely unclear why his own mother and father are mocking him. Making fun of others, people usually assert themselves at the expense of others. And how is it possible to raise your self-esteem at the expense of your own child? It is humiliating and ugly.
It seems to us, parents, that promises mean nothing, and the child forgets everything. Personally, my conscience always gnaws at me if I don’t have time to do what I promised the child. I am ready to fail through the earth (I am so ashamed) if I cannot fulfill the promise. Therefore, I either do not promise at all, or fulfill what I promised.
But some parents (including mine) believe that there is nothing so terrible about not fulfilling the promise. But for the crumbs is a whole disaster! And even if he does not show it, it does not mean at all that he is calm in his heart. He sobs in his heart, because his trust in his parents is fading.
I believe that it is important to bring the demands and keep the word to the end. We are the most important and dear to our children, I am sure of it. We simply cannot undermine authority and offend our children. We must do so that our children have as few tears and bitter offenses caused by us as possible.
What do you think should be done in order to be literate and wise parents? What else can we hurt our children?