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20 harsh facts about the birth of children, which are better to learn before pregnancy

20 harsh facts about the birth of children, which are better to learn before pregnancy

Someday you will still know about them, but in a much more cruel way. Therefore, it is better to read these colorful stories of Becky Pope – mom from England – who sincerely informed her subscribers about what happens when you just gave birth to a baby, right now. After all, forewarned – it means armed.

1. Postpartum contractions. Contractions. After. The birth. Who would have thought? When the Lord gave a woman the ability to bestow life, he definitely set us up …

2. The first urination. Take the ladle with warm water and water your crotch, imagining that you are a star in some very dirty porn. It helps.

3. The first campaign is a big one. Do not panic. You do not give birth to a second child. Just the sensations are similar. The main thing, remember that what comes out from behind, is not comparable in size to what happened in front. Your gut does not fall out. Or it will fall out. If you have hemorrhoids. And, most likely, it is …



13. It farts. It burps. It hiccups. It makes such horrible sounds in a dream, that you are afraid to open your eyes and see Chucky, spinning and laughing in a baby crib. You will hope that other patients will understand that this is not you, but a child. Not that you were sure that you are not farting. At these times you do not control your sphincter.

14. All your friends will want to visit you in the hospital. People become overexcited at the thought alone. When they enter your room, they feel like VIPs. And it seems to you that you are about to go to another world. Therefore, take visitors only if you are ready for it.

15. Your tummy is like an air balloon, which is slowly blown off and which very much pities itself. If you touch it, you will realize that it would have become an excellent springboard for Stuart Little's mouse. Or that if you cut it, the maternity hospital staff could push it instead of peach jelly ...

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