Girls, you have acquaintances who are constantly getting a question: Why don’t you give birth to the second? Yes, probably, you yourself are asking this question for them?
Here, and I have such a married couple. And the question of why Natasha did not give birth, tormented me for a long time. After all, a friend is just an amazing mother, an amazing mistress and wife, a little man completely devoted to the family and, looking at her, only think that the children would be that way to her. 7.
The reason for abandoning the second child
But no. She has only one daughter, has already grown, and the mother did not dare to endure and give birth to the second. It did not dare. If many have a problem getting pregnant, then Natasha has a problem taking out the baby. She has negative blood Rh. Rhesus conflict arises between her blood and the blood of the fetus, which is a substantial threat of miscarriage.
Medicine took a step, but a woman did not
The fact is that Natasha gave birth to her first daughter 16 years ago. She said that even though the daughter was the first, the pregnancy was the second.
Accordingly, when the child settled in the tummy, the mother’s body began to produce antibodies, which were aimed at destroying the fetus, as if on a foreign organism. I agree, it sounds awful, but if you translate a bunch of medical terms into human language, you get exactly that.
17 years ago, the problem of rhesus conflict doctors could not yet cope as famously as they are now. And Natasha suffered greatly: the hospital, injections, apparatus, examinations, terrible sentences, an endless string of tests left a bad mark on her mind. Now she does not even want to hear about the second child.
Mindly, the woman understands that medicine has stepped forward, that now Rhesus-conflict is not such an emergency situation as before. The injections have become more perfect, the Doppler control monitors the baby, tests for antibodies are made only once a month, and special medical preparations have been created.
But to overcome the fear that she may lose a child after 20 weeks, when the mother is already getting used to the baby, when he is already a real, growing little person for her, when he moves, – Natasha cannot.
It also scares the thought of premature birth. At best, it will be 35-37 weeks, and if earlier? And if cesarean? And then the baby on the devices in intensive care …
As the friend herself says, her maternal instinct works for her. She cannot send her unborn child even for alleged torment. From the thought that he will have edema still in the womb, the organs will grow and develop incorrectly, that they will be given injections, it is badly done. And on a note that you may have to do intrauterine blood transfusion, Natasha almost loses consciousness.
A friend admits that she is afraid not to carry the child and get a deep psychological trauma; that the fear of miscarriage is stronger than the desire to have another baby. In addition, she does not believe that all these procedures will not affect the health of the child when he is born.
She read a lot of literature on this issue. On the Internet, many moms write how glamorous they carried and gave birth, but for some reason few people write how they hatched the second baby. This once again brought Natashka to the idea that not only she could not decide on the second, and this further strengthened all the listed fears in her.
And somehow the thought came to me, but does intuition work for her? Maybe somewhere on a subconscious level, she feels that something is going wrong? After all, we feel that we have become pregnant or that we have fallen out of love or the approach of trouble.
Lately, we are no longer raising this topic, why should excite in Natasha the feeling of guilt that she does not want to give birth. But, looking at a friend, every time I have a thought, then this woman needs a baby.
Do you think it is possible to cope with this psychological barrier?