All children are born innocent and kind, said John Gray, in his book Children from Heaven. So where does aggression toward other children wake up in these innocent beings? I would like to deal with this today.
While my baby was sitting in a stroller and smiling pretty, I looked at the older children with horror and did not understand how you could behave, bite, fight, pick toys, etc. Of course, my will not be like this, I will do everything for it, I thought so, until it touched me.
New stage of maturation
My first baby was knocked off my first year, sweet creature, good boy, but this did not last long. He very soon became the same bully too. As they say, they were afraid of what they were afraid of. He began to bite, fight, select toys, behaved inadequately with other children. In our sandbox with my son it happened before everyone else, apparently, each stage is different in different ways. In general, the children suffered from my bullies.
The holiday season came and we went to the sea, four more boys, our godfathers, rested with us, and it was there that the heat started. Every minute the section of toys, again bitten and beaten by children, the son behaved at the level of the oldest boy who was 3 years old. They were the most ardent bullies there.
I certainly tried in every way to fight this nightmare. And I talked to him, although what are you going to achieve from a one-year-old child, and bit back, if he bites someone, and beat on the pope, to be honest, nothing helped. I was on the verge of, and children are sorry, and my baby is sorry, but I could not explain. He still continued to bite and fight.
This situation lasted two months. My efforts did not lead to anything, only my nerves exhausted myself. In the end, everything went by itself.
As I understand now, he bit because of the fact that his teeth were actively climbing, and the child tried to scratch them about someone in every way and chose the same children as the victims, like himself – cruel, but true. Or when the toy was taken away, then the teeth for him were a means of protection.
The baby also fought because of toys, and there is an explanation for this, a child at that age does not quite understand how to behave with people, how to express your desires. Of course, even then, at the age of one year, I explained to him in every way, but a year is not enough to understand such a serious framework in a relationship. It was easier to hit, bite and take away.
Now, after time, I can say for sure that this was such a stage of maturation. Of course, it is necessary to fight with this problem, but as my practice has shown, slapping the pope and my surrender did not give anything to him.
Perhaps it would help to tell the child fairy tales with their favorite fairy-tale characters, given the situations that occurred with them. But I only now began to understand it, then such ideas did not occur to me.
If the situation had worsened, I, without doubting, took the child to a psychologist, for clues for a young inexperienced mother.
Every stage of growing up must definitely be experienced by the child, this is his experience of life growth. We parents should be wiser, try to control themselves, guide and prompt, because our kids are just starting to live and they still have a lot of new things ahead.
Have you had such situations? How did you fight them?