My friend, the mother of a 18-month-old girl, recently told me about her visit to a neurologist. The doctor, among other councils, remarked to her that children under three years old should not be punished, scolded, and generally forbidden to them. That is, in other words, a child under three can do anything.
She also told a neurologist that up to three years old a child cannot be pampered. At the same time, agreeing with him in everything and allowing him to study the world around as he wants (of course, taking care of his safety), we will grow up a whole person.
Honestly, it is unusual to hear such words from a doctor who was raised in our country. Such an attitude to education is characteristic, rather, for Japan. It is there that it is customary to treat a preschooler as a king, a child of 6-14 years old – as a slave, and a young man over 15 – as an equal, adult.
While studying in the pedagogical, we were told about the system of education in the land of the rising sun. Japanese moms, apparently already at the genetic level, are so calm and peaceful that any disobedience and misdemeanors of the baby do not expel them from themselves.
Was the child smeared in the dirt, did the next mobile phone break down, or did the Kalyaki-Malyaki markers use new wallpaper?
The maximum of emotions that a Japanese woman will allow herself to see when looking at childbirth is a grief with such behavior. But, in order to bring her mother to such a white heat, the child will have to really try, and not just smear an expensive mother’s cream on the doll or make up her face with a felt-tip pen.
Also in the most critical situations, the Japanese mother will surely remind the child that if he continues to fight hysterically in the store, bite or fight, then no one will be friends with him. That is, he will be deprived of society, not recognized by them. To be excluded from society, to lose face, as it were, becomes the worst thing for the Japanese.
In Japan, this parenting system works great. Children who could indulge and be naughty up to 5-6 years old, grow into good citizens who are very responsible and respect the law.
Parenting in Russian
How not to punish a child and educate him in permissiveness most of my friends moms do not understand. No, my friends do not peel children, do not shout at them. But many can punish, deprive of pleasure, forbid something or rigidly pull a baby.
Just listen to how often the word sounds on the playground is impossible. And often it is completely useless: why, for example, a child in a waterproof suit cannot jump over a puddle?
Do I trust the Japanese system
I myself also can not be attributed to mothers in Japanese at 100 percent. Although I let the child do many things: walk naked at home, draw on himself with a pen, eat what he wants, do not wash his hair for a couple of weeks. I have never spanked a child, and I just screamed at him a couple of times, and then from pain when I bit.
Grandma grabs her head at the sight of such freedom. He says that we spoil the boy. The son, frankly, tasted the delights of such education and commands all members of the family. However, since so much is possible for him, he does not ask for anything at all extreme, so our relationship with him is harmonious enough.
I try to replace bans and punishments with explanations and persuasions. But if the son abuses his position and begins to wander, to make a strict voice and deprive him of the kinder, I can still.
What do you think, will the Japanese manner of education bring to good, if applied in our Russian conditions?