My husband and I occasionally have disagreements about raising children. Most often we argue because of their independence. The husband believes that you need to constantly play with the daughters, but on the contrary, I think that they should be given freedom.
I believe that any person should be able to independently solve most of the issues, including domestic ones. To be able to make decisions yourself, you need to bring up such a quality as independence from childhood.
This does not mean that I do not care for children, but only do homework or do my own business. I just think that kids should already be able to occupy themselves now. After all, I will not be able to be with them all my life and solve all problems.
Already at 2 years old children want to be independent, I just help them with this.
For example, if children sit and quietly draw, I try not to interfere in the process, just give them freedom, and they draw as they like. Of course, we sometimes draw together, I show how to draw the sun, flowers, houses.
My friend often complains that she cannot do any chores because her daughter cannot play alone. My daughter is now 2.5 years old and soon she will go to kindergarten. It seems to me that this is not normal.
My girls can play for a while without my presence. They do not need me to constantly sit next to them.
But, of course, every day I play educational games with them. In educational games you need to play with them, so that they receive new skills and knowledge.
Whatever children are independent, they should know that the mother is near and always, if necessary, will come to the rescue.
How to be parents
Since childhood, children can occupy themselves, but often it happens that mother feel sorry for the baby who is sitting alone and she constantly plays with him. But, in my opinion, it is worth giving the kids freedom.
Even if the child plays himself, it is not always worth interfering. This is how a child perceives the world, studies the environment. And we only need adults to watch the child play.
Psychologists recommend to leave the child alone in the room during the games from the age of six months. This does not mean that you need to give toys and go to the store. Just for a while, the baby can play alone.
I sometimes think that adults want to be alone with themselves and with their thoughts, and children, probably, also do not interfere with being alone. The main thing is that the child himself would like to play alone. No need to force him to do it.
Council of Psychology
To understand the situation and get an answer to the question of which of us is right, I turned to a psychologist. Maybe I’m really wrong and bad mom. But the response of the psychologist was unexpected.
I was told that I was doing everything correctly, it is very good that the daughters can find something for themselves. If they need the attention of the mother, they will surely attract attention.
However, such claims of the husband may be related to the fact that I pay little attention to him. And this may well be true.
Now I try to give everyone time. I communicate with my husband more, I attract him to games with children.
Interestingly, do you think children should be able to play on their own?