It so happened that I gave birth to a child, not being a married woman. Most of the pregnancy, I was sure that my son would have my last name. But after the birth of the child, everything did not turn out the way I had planned.
All pregnancy relationship with the father of the child were not easy. But the more my belly became, the more actively the child fluttered there, the better became the relationship with the father of the child.
When I gave birth, we decided to write down the child in the name of the father. Now, a year and a half later, I can conclude that I acted a little rashly. Why? Let’s figure it out.
Yes, of course, it’s great when a father recognizes his child and gives him his last name. But only if you are 100% sure that the father will help.
A man is known on maternity leave. Fatigue, postpartum depression … Is the man who did not want to make you his wife and take responsibility for you and the baby to bear it ready to take it all along with you?
let’s consider minus inscribing father’s birth certificate (when paternity is officially established and the father’s last name is given).
one. In this case, you are not a single mother, because the father recognizes paternity, which means that the child has a full family of two parents.
Since you are not a single mother, then all benefits and allowances you are not supposed to. That is, you will not be paid cash benefits, who pay only to single mothers.
Do not forget that single mothers are provided and labor benefits: they are not allowed to be fired or reduced, forced to work overtime or at night and on weekends, they are fully paid sick leave, etc.
Benefits in Education also no longer shine. That is, no preferential queue at the kindergarten, no discounts on additional education in music, art or sports institutions.
In some cities, there are preferential queues housing provision, where can stand single mothers.
Some medication single mothers get free or with a big discount in state pharmacies.
Some regions have natural assistance that is, mothers give things for the baby, she enjoys children’s dairy kitchen for free, and also receives vouchers to a sanatorium or a children’s camp, etc.
These are not trifles, as it may seem, especially if the father refuses to help. Of course, you can apply for alimony, but we all know about the gray and white salary. And the interest that you will be paid on the white salary of the father of the child may be much less than what the state can give you.
2. If the father has recognized the child, his documents, permits, etc. will be constantly needed.
If you just want register child in his home, then first you need documents that the baby is not registered with the father, and that the father does not mind where you will register the child.
If you want to leave with a child away, you first need to get permission from your father.
3 You will have different surnames with baby. Not only does this in everyday life sometimes create inconvenience, but once again the child will ask why this happened. If by that time the father is suddenly not around, it will not be easy to explain the situation.
four. The father has all rights to the child, so he can take the child. I personally know a woman whose child’s father took the baby away and did not give it to her. She passed several ships to return her son.
1. On the other hand, the father of the child at any time may recognize his child and enter his surname in his birth certificate. When you are sure that he will be there and will help and care for the baby, then you can give the name of the father.
2 As a last resort, at the age of 14, an almost adult child can decide for himself on the change of surname. It is possible that the court and paternity tests will be required to change the name, but if the child wants, you can do everything.
In any case, you decide. But to decide not only for themselves, but also for the child.