Who of the moms do not know the whims of children? A rare child grows up without whims, and the majority of children from their childhood show signs of self-will: they don’t want to dress, don’t want to eat, sleep, tidy up toys, but want sweet things, walk and bathe until they are blue, and then they want to play hysterically when mom trying to explain that now there is no money. And what is our reaction? Let’s analyze our own behavior in response to the whims.
Loving parents as they can, admonish the capricious child, not reacting to it in any way. Then the parents start to get nervous and make sudden movements, for example, when dressing or feeding. Then mom often breaks into a scream, followed by a slap on a soft spot. Result? The child is screaming, mom is stained, dad ran off to smoke. As a result, the situation is at a standstill. Without trying to find a reasonable way out of such impasse, we risk getting there again and again.
I had to observe ugly, quite scenes when a mother was powerless at her own offspring to thrash him than to fall, pouring out her anger or screaming, using nasty, words inapplicable to children. Maybe it’s a lack of love? By no means! Such mothers love their children, are perfectly aware of their wrongness during such disruptions and try to make amends to the baby. As a result, the child grows, on the one hand, spoiled, on the other hand, twitched.
So how to avoid such distortions in education, because it is also education when we pour out negative emotions. I raised three sons, and somehow it turned out that they were not particularly capricious in me. Analyzing my behavior, I found and found a lot of mistakes that I would like to warn young parents, but there are also positive moments in my relationship with the kids, which I would also like to talk about.
So, about the vagaries. I believe that children can always agree. I do not mean the age of two years, when they are still too thoughtless and they can be easily distracted from the whims of a toy, jokes, etc. But here comes the first transition period, which lasts anywhere from two to four years. At this time, the kids need to talk respectfully and seriously, recognizing in each of them a personality. No Musi Pusi, affection and delight in the presence of a child can not be allowed. If you want to grow a strong personality, of course.
For example: a child does not want to go to kindergarten, is naughty. The usual reaction of a late mom to work – screams, slaps, and a cheerful couple jumps out into the street with wild cries. I have a kindergarten under the windows, so I often hear a roaring little boy whom my mother, with the same scenario, pulls into the garden.
So what to do? In the evening, on the eve, having done all the household chores, invite your baby to sit next to you and tell me mysteriously that you have an important conversation with him. And then seriously and efficiently discuss with him why work is needed, why go to the kindergarten, and try to agree on how he will behave in the morning, gathering in the kindergarten and what, for example, the reward is waiting for him at the weekend. If you choose the right tone and the right words, then I assure you there will be no more vagaries.
Never forget that in front of you is a person with his own character, with his own inclinations and peculiarities. Treat this person with respect, and you will have no problems with the whims.