Sleep, my beautiful baby,
Quietly looking month clear
In your cradle.
I will tell you fairy tales
Sing a song;
Well you dozed, eyes closed,
That miracle happened! My first child in my arms. So small, defenseless. Births, whatever they may be, are already behind. And ahead – the joy and happiness of caring for the baby. Yes, the main problem and fear are resolved – it is the fear of childbirth and fear for the child.
But here you are returning home and realize that you do not know anything about what to do with the child and in what situations. I’ll say right away that I avoided any kind of responsibility to my 22 years, simply because I am too responsible, and I take everything to the heart, I worry a lot and worry if anything goes wrong.
And here in my arms was a whole life. This is already very responsible, and if this is the life of your own child, then all the more … Together with this responsibility, the fears of the young mother appeared. Consider them closer.
Fear 1: fear of confusing a child in a maternity hospital
As soon as I gave birth, I only thought about remembering all his facial features, specks on the handle, some features, so that I would not slip a stranger’s child afterwards. Now it’s funny to remember this, but then it was my first fear.
Fortunately, he quickly dissipated, because right in front of me my newly made son was put on the handle with a bracelet with my name, which I checked and reread.
Fear 2: Fear of leaving the baby alone
It seemed to me that while the child was sleeping, I just needed to watch it. Suddenly he will burp and he will not be able to cough up, he suddenly will turn on his side and face the side and not be able to breathe. Suddenly, in a dream, his hands would run numb in his diapers, and he would want to move them, but he could not.
Fears swarmed in my head, so I practically did not leave the room where the child was lying, brought tea there and lay nearby.
What in fact. Of course, the risk always exists, but excessive and fanatical concern will not lead to anything good. Just loosen your nervous system. So I put a cushion of a towel or diaper under the side of the baby, so that he simply could not turn his head, she always lay on her side.
I started to put a pillow to him after a year. Very often, without my help, he released one diaper handle and slept further. If I tried to tie her back, he pulled her out again. And for those who are still afraid, now there are video nannies.
Fear 3: Fear of harming a child through your actions
This is the main fear that kept me in its grip for a long time. I was afraid that I would not take the tiny pen in the wrong direction and hurt the child, I was afraid that if I made extra movements with it, I would also damage it. I was afraid to bathe him, and at first my husband helped me.
I was scared to cut the nails on the hands, even more on the legs. Scared microscopic sizes. I was afraid that I was bathing for too long, that there was a draft in the room, that I was walking on the street for too long. In general, such fears were full. But this is understandable.
After all, for me the child was a completely unidentified planet, I did not know its reactions to certain actions or stimuli. Over time and with the experience that every mom is recruited, these fears grow into the confidence that you are doing everything right.
Fear 4: Fear of Sickness
This fear will live in me, probably, all my life. There is nothing worse when your child is sick. During such a period, you forget about all the other problems, and you realize that the most important thing is when the baby is healthy. As soon as my son has symptoms of a cold, my heart contracts.
The main thing, in such a situation, is not to unravel and not to complain about the fate, neighbors or relatives who have infected, bad weather or any other circumstances – but to begin treatment immediately.
Here I will attribute the fear that the child may choke or choke. He was especially strong when he taught the child to solid food. He often choked and coughed.
At the same time, all the grandmothers and aunts tried to give him to constantly chew on something, for me it was just panic fear. I didn’t even walk away from him again in time to get a piece of bread or meat stuck from his throat in time.
Now, by the sound and character of the cough I already recognize how serious he is: do I need to run to him and slap him on the back, tilt the torso forward and help with coughing, or just need to let him cough up.
This fear is more parental than fear for the child. When we began to cut teeth, the time was not easy. If the day’s whims and ever-bad mood could somehow be endured, then I was afraid of the nights like fire …
Because during this period, the baby could scream sharply and piercingly during sleep and then cry for a long time, without reassuring. I had to rock him in my arms, cutting circles around the room, singing a song to him. After half an hour (or one and a half) of such a ritual, he fell asleep.
But it is not known how much, in an hour everything could happen again. And at that time he weighed 11-12 kilograms. For me, these nights were terrible.
The solution to this fear was and remains Nurofen. He always helped us. But the downside is that you can only give it for 5 consecutive days. And our teeth could climb for 2 weeks.
Fear 6: Fear of Falling
This fear develops in young mothers as soon as their child begins to walk. And if the first time you are always there, hold the child by the handle and can hedge when he stumbles, then later, when the child wants to move on his own, it remains only to pray that the road is level. I have this fear consciously appeared after the first serious fall of the child.
He ran around the flower bed. I, usually running alongside him, stood a meter from the flowerbed and watched. In addition to me, there were three other adults also at a distance of a meter. But he still managed to stumble over the corner of the curb and began to fall, I did not have time to intercept him, he put the handles forward, but still hit his right eyebrow on the curb.
I grabbed him in my arms, he screamed, I first examined whether the eye was intact, we put ice wrapped in a towel to him, he began to scream even more from the cold, and a lump on his eyebrow swelled before my eyes.
I already knew that we need to go to the emergency room. Although the mother-in-law tried to dissuade me. But it was too serious a fall.
Already on the way to the doctor’s office, he burped a little, and that frightened me even more. Since vomiting is a sign of concussion. In the emergency room there was a young doctor and a nurse, who were obviously not happy about our arrival. With disgruntled persons and silently wrote something. When I asked if they could say anything, they said no, you need to do an x-ray.
Honestly, if I had not been afraid that they might deliberately somehow harm the child in spite of me, I would have arranged a scandal for them there. There was a feeling that I rushed into their house without asking and also asked stupid questions. Such were their dissatisfied faces.
When you see such doctors, you think why they even went to this profession if they have such hatred for patients. Moreover, it is a little one-year-old child and a frightened mother. Is it really impossible to say anything intelligible?
In general, they gave us an x-ray, took us to the ward, and made an anesthetic injection. My poor little injured baby almost immediately fell asleep, as it was already time for his release.
And I tossed and turned all night on the couch and every half an hour I got up to check how he was sleeping there and if his edema had become swollen. And I saw that he was increasing. In the morning, one of his eyes was half closed from swelling on his eyebrows, and a bruise appeared under the eye. The sight was terrible. As if he had a fight with someone …
It is good that my mother is a doctor in our republic and has connections with other health workers. Thanks to her, the nurses, who received us at 10 in the evening, were not at all kind, sharply kinder to us.
Thanks to my mother, all the days that we were in the hospital, doctors came to us and sent us for tests, we checked our eyesight just in case. X-ray showed that all is well.
It was just superficial skin damage. I calmed down. But since then my heart stops every time when my son runs past all kinds of curbs, stairs and other projections.
Of course, the fears of young mothers are largely justified and understandable. The main thing is not so much to fear, how to learn how to overcome them and how you can help your child in a given situation, so that fears will not turn into panic attacks and paranoia.