I was very afraid that my separation from my husband would have a negative effect on my son. But after thinking a little, I realized that with constant scandals, quarrels and lack of feelings, we would only aggravate the psyche of the baby. Therefore, I made the final decision and filed an application to the court.
At the first stage, I thought and was delighted that we parted humanly. Former husband tried to help. Normally communicated. It all ended when I met a man and our relationship became serious.
Then my husband, as a substitute, and he began to recoup on me – the child suffered from this. Moreover, my husband and I practically didn’t communicate, because I didn’t care for it, he could always phone my mom and meet the child. But he did not do that.
I thought it was a stupid act and explained to him that while the son is small and does not understand anything, he has the opportunity to become the best dad in the world. After all, no matter how cool he is with his mother all the time, I will scold and punish. And dad is a holiday, he will be bored, he will always go somewhere with him. For a child, a holiday is all.
But my husband was not bribed by any persuasions, and later I got tired of it. He does not need – even more so for me. After a couple of weeks, the former left for work and disappeared. More than a year we do not communicate much. He does not help, does not communicate with his son, did not even congratulate him on his birthday.
On the one hand, I am glad that the former has disappeared and does not drink my blood, that the child does not see him and that he does not turn his son against me. The baby has a good example in front of the eyes, which he loves very much and slowly calls him dad.
Of course, divorce breaks the psyche of children, I myself went through it. But I think that it is best to leave quietly and calmly. And if this fails, then try to avoid the presence of children during the showdown.
Crumbs all feel, especially the state of the mother, so try to restrain yourself and for the baby to act as if nothing had happened.
If a man appears in your life, in no case should you push the child to call him dad. After all, it is not known how you will develop with a new person.
Introduce the children only after you are sure that everything is really serious with this person. Of course, watch the reaction of the child.
And dear mummies, I ask you very much, respect the choice of your child. If the son or daughter does not like your choice, and the man is trying very hard, then listen to the opinion of the child. Of course – it may be banal jealousy, but if the situation does not change after a while, then it is not just that.
Do not betray your children from past marriage and do not go headlong into privacy. For kids – this is the strongest stress, which then does not pass for years.