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Destruction as a stage of development, kids

Recently I witnessed the following picture: a two-year-old baby sits on the floor among a pile of machines, takes one, breaks off wheels, mirrors, other moving parts, turns a couple of minutes and sets aside. And so, while I watched, 2 cars went into oblivion.

I speak carefully to parents, they say, he often plays like a razzer in your case? And they calmly and calmly for me – So this is good! Parses, then studying!

I confess, I doubt first. Out of curiosity, she picked up some literature, asked a familiar psychologist. It turned out, really, if a child breaks toys is not so bad, and from this you can benefit.

Pioneer instinct

More often or less, but all children break toys. Especially at an early age. Have you ever watched exactly how they do it?

Most often, the toy breaks when the baby tries to do something with it, for which it is not intended. Rotate the doll head by 180%, shove the ball in a disproportionately small bucket, tilt the fixed hood of the machine, and so on.

This behavior of the toddler is motivated by the desire to see and what will happen if… And the fact that the child asks such questions is in itself positive. After all, we all know that in this world, how is it, and to him, baby, everything is new, everything is interesting.

So, through breakdowns, he knows the world, and, therefore, develops!

The stage of destructive development passes all children. As a rule, its first symptoms appear in 1.5 – 2 years and, then fading, then re-manifesting, pass by the age of five. Although, this framework is rather conditional. Another thing is important – if a child breaks nothing at all and does not disassemble – something is wrong with him.

How to be parents?

Of course, spoiled toys and other experiments of the kid give the parents a lot of trouble. And just to let the little one break everything and at the same time be glad that he is developing this way, not everyone can afford it. Yes, and not necessary.

Destructive urges must be monitored and sent in the right direction.

My friends, for example, specifically buy toys for the kid with large removable parts, and when he breaks into candy, all together, not excluding the crumb, arrange an overhaul of the machines. We even bought a special game workshop kit.

So, the child satisfies his curiosity, and gradually studies the components of the machines, and learns to collect them with his pens – fine motor skills develop, plus an understanding that things are difficult to do and, therefore, must be treated with care. Cars now – his real passion!

Another option useful destructive game – a pyramid of cubes. Parents, together with the baby, build a high pyramid of cubes, and then in turn, carefully remove the cubes from the middle until the pyramid collapses. Again – and fun, and without harm.

So, instead of machines, you can use any kind of knowledgeable toys or designers, especially for children 3 – 4 years. The main thing is that when examining the child he learned something new and gradually learned to understand that it was possible to disassemble, and what not.

When to sound the alarm

Signs that something is wrong, can serve not only the lack of desire to see what is inside, but also a manifestation of aggression during the breaking.

If a child does not just break a toy, but breaks it with anger, and then either rejoices at what has been done or begins to express regret and cry, then parents should be wary. The best way to figure out is to calmly, without shouting or reproach, to ask the child why he did it.

It is quite possible that he was angry or upset about something. Then you just need to explain that the toy is not to blame, and you can’t fix it with a failure. And if the problem is in the toy itself (the doll did not sit down, the machine did not move, etc.), you can simply show that the thing is not intended for this.

It’s really worth worrying only if the child repeats such actions with aggressive behavior all the time, and when asked why Why did you do it? I do not know answer.

How to behave is not worth

What would not disassemble your child, certainly do not need to scream, swear and come up with harsh punishments. It will not help! The maximum that you will achieve is that you will frighten the child and convince him that the mother / father should not see that he has broken something. That is, learn to hide their wrongdoings.

A calm instructive conversation, a clear demonstration of how to use this or that thing correctly, what cannot be done and why, and then joint (child’s participation is extremely important!) Repairing a broken one will give much more benefit.

To go to the other extreme – to encourage the pranks of the baby, to calm him down – they say, nothing, we will buy you a new doll – is also not worth it. I think no need to explain that this is the simplest way to grow a spoiled irresponsible person.

And finally

Recently read the biography of Henry Ford. It turns out that in his childhood he constantly annoyed his parents, dismantling all the mechanical objects in the house. Especially battered watches. Analyzing them, little Henry tried to collect everything as it was, but there were always extra details left …

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