I recently met on the playground with a neighbor, a mother of two boys. We chatted about the children, then she asked me how a crisis of three years passed. I must say that she is a modern, well-read mom and she knows about child crises. And he knows not only in theory – her eldest went to all the periods of maturity due to his six-year-old age.
When we talked about this, our crisis has already passed. It lasted for a couple of months, I don’t know if it’s a lot or a little, but it’s enough for us.
At first, I didn’t even realize what was happening: the child suddenly became terribly naughty and intractable, the kindergarten fees and from kindergarten began to take much more time.
This phrase was the most running son at the time. The child wanted to do EVERYTHING by himself: to put on clothes from panties and socks to jackets and shoes, and he himself wanted to take everything off. He wanted to take the toy himself, decide for himself what to do, think of something himself. If I didn’t think, I didn’t think of it, I started up crying.
Just yesterday, we were going to the kindergarten very quickly: the son walks well in the garden, with desire, so he did not resist, but he helped me in every possible way to dress. Now, if I, forgetting myself, with habitual movements, put pants on him, and he suddenly recalled that he had to do it himself, I had to wait for him to take everything off (also himself), and then put it on again. Phew !!
How we rebuilt
For a while I was in a trance, did not know how to behave. But after all, if you look into the fact that the son wants to do everything himself, there are some positive points. Therefore:
one. We started to get up earlier so that there was more time for dressing.
2 She left in use only those clothes that are easy to wear. Stretched turtlenecks, loose T-shirts, wide-necked T-shirts – no matter what they look like, the main thing is comfortable.
3 I talked to a kindergarten teacher and warned us what is happening now. She reacted with understanding.
four. I tried to make my son feel that he decides what to do, what to take with him to the kindergarten, and consult with him.
five. The motto of my behavior during this period was patience and firmness. I tried not to go on about the capricious son, but also not to scold him.
Now it’s pretty easy to agree on everything with my son. And if he suddenly gets the reins under the tail, he, after showing himself, quickly orients himself and is looking for a compromise solution or begins to apologize for his behavior. He learned to dress, but apparently, he was already fed up with this business and he absolutely did not mind if we were to wear it.
Do you think a three-year crisis exists?