Regardless of gender and age, there are children who fight. Moreover, not only among themselves, but also with close people. Even though I am the mother of the sweetest girl – a lover of lush dresses and princesses, I believe, I know firsthand about the fights.
Fortunately, now, when her daughter is almost 5 years old, the number of battering has gradually disappeared. I believe that here is the reason not only in age, but also in our successfully carried out parent work. I would be glad if my experience is useful to you!
When my daughter was a year and a half, she still could not fully express her wishes in words. An easy and affordable way to get my attention or express displeasure was to hit or bite me.
As it turned out, my initial reaction was wrong – I cried out loud and desperately from pain, sometimes even crying. It turns out that there is little point in such a reaction – the child perceives what is happening, like a certain show (mother changes her facial expression, makes faces), which she wants to repeat again.
Of course, to explain to a child what is good and what is bad in 1-2 years is meaningless. Responding rapidly is also not worth it. Ideal – ignore, resentment, regret from others.
For example, before the daughter could joke or in a fit of emotions slap the grandmother. In this case, the grandmother silently turned away, went about her business, stopped talking with her granddaughter. In my turn, I regretted my grandmother, thereby showing that it was the behavior of the grandmother, and not the child, that was correct.
I was very helped tips, which I read in the article of one child psychologist:
one. It is better to explain to the child how to act, and not how not to behave.
2 Try asking your offended mom to make a remark to yours. Thus, you will not be in the role of a bad cop, and the educational moment will be there.
3 Try to direct the aggression to a peaceful course. Suggest the child to do something completely new and interesting with his opponent. Think up a lesson that requires physical effort.
Do I give change?
You can often hear from moms offended children. Why are you standing? Give change !. It is clear that I want the abuser to feel blows on himself, but on the other hand, because in this way we show that it is possible to fight.
If the mother bites in response, then why is it possible for the mother and the child for it? Maybe the fact is that mom is stronger? Then, if you think logically, who is stronger and older, has the right to use their power? Can you imagine what confusion is going on in the child’s head?
Here, of course, the situation is twofold. On the one hand, I do not want my daughter to use her physical strength in relation to other children. But on the other hand, I do not want the children to hurt her with impunity. Probably, for that, I am right next to her now, in time to resolve and prevent conflicts, while trying to avoid assault on children.
Everything is obvious here – if it is considered normal in the family to resolve conflicts with the help of fights, then you should not be surprised and try to rehabilitate the little fighter. After all, the manners of family members are a role model for a child. From osinki not born oranges, as they say.
With a child of preschool age, in most cases, you can negotiate and fully communicate. At this age, the causes of aggression are easy to identify, especially if you resort to using a child psychologist (or at least their recommendations).
It is quite possible that the matter is in watching cartoons with elements of aggression, inability to socially adapt to kindergarten, jealousy of other children, etc.
Starting from two years, I constantly repeat to my daughter the phrase that any conflicts can and should be solved with the help of words. If this option does not work, you should contact your opponent’s mom. And all this provided that the daughter is right and is under my constant supervision.
Another important point – while walking, our children are very active. We always take with us balls, flying saucers, scooters, bicycles, etc. abundance of physical activity reduces the number of fights to a minimum, believe me.
And how do you cope with little fighters?