Education without conflict
Where is the line of what is permissible?
When we, adults, begin to educate our children, many of us act on the principle of endless things, or on the contrary, we all can. But as a result, neither the one nor the other method leads to the desired result. If the child hears all the time, do not touch it or not, it gradually begins to resemble a frightened beast. And the constant yes is not an option, because this small word becomes the starting point to selfishness.
The task of education is to find a golden middle, where the ratio is yes and no will be balanced, and hardness and flexibility will coexist in one process.
What should be done so that you do not have to resort to punishments?
Almost every child ever got a belt for this or that offense. Punishing their child in this way, parents rarely ask themselves about their own, adult, behavior. Each of us periodically makes mistakes, breaks something, cunningly, deceives or does not do important things on time. There is really nothing to boast about. Then the question arises, why do we persistently demand from children what we ourselves do not do? To sculpt an ideal child by giving him a bad example is simply impossible. Correctly, education consists of punishments and rewards, but where the line between the two the principles of child rearing, and what should they be? Almost every sensible parent wants to find such a method of education, in which conflicts will go back. There are a number of rules, adhering to which you can achieve the desired result.
Having said once there is not something, one should stick to it in the future. When voicing the ban, your voice should be calm, and speech is short and capacious. Your refusal should be necessarily justified, explain the reason, and also sound once. Most children ask you Why? , and he will ask this only because he can not cope with his desire. Your actions at this point should be aimed at ensuring that the child understands that you sympathize with him and understand his problem and desire. After that, the adult should explain and justify his refusal.
Periodically, your prohibitions and restrictions should be reviewed, as the child grows and out of some prohibitions it simply grows. There are also special circumstances when a child needs your protection, for example, when he had a terrible dream. In this case, the rule of sleep in your bed can be temporarily disrupted. Note - temporarily!
All prohibitions that come from parents should not contradict the needs of the child. Children are active and curious creatures, and run, jump, climb, slap in puddles, for them there is a norm. Without such cognitive activities, it will be difficult for a child to grow into a harmonious and active person. Such a ban is commensurate with the overlapping of a deep river. In this case it is not necessary to prohibit, it is enough just to make these events safe. For example, when paddling in puddles, you just need to offer to put on rubber boots, in order not to soak the legs.