Главная 7 Child up to 1 year 7 You can not punish a child (Irina Mlodik)

You can not punish a child (Irina Mlodik)

You can not punish a child (Irina Mlodik)

Punishing a child traumatizes the psyche and does not work. Child psychologist Irina Mladik says:

Punishment is also a way of parenting a child to do what the parent wants. In fact, I believe that education is possible without punishment. Punishment is often a way to express your anger, your powerlessness, your discontent with the child. This is an extreme way, when we can not cope anymore.

The second reason why we want to punish children is sometimes, the lack of belief that if we do not punish, we will not fix any in it. Here you did a bad thing, then, as if the child will continue to do the same.

Such a traditional thing: we found a cigarette from him or caught him smoking, and we need to so imprint in his mind that it is harmful to smoke that we are here unfolding some punishment for our boy, for example. As if he does not know that smoking is bad, that we are against, that we probably do not support him – he knows it perfectly. But often for us to punish is a way to put out all our anger, all our anxiety, all our disappointment. We would like to have a boy who does not smoke, our boy is smoking, and as if to suffer all this annoyance from this event from our shattered expectations about him, we punish him.

In fact, it seems to me that children do not need punishment. It seems to me that if something happened and we can talk with the child, explain our feelings to him, our anxiety, explain the consequences of something, then punishment is not required.

When we, for example, are angry, offended at him, helplessly, and we slapped him, for example, from impotence, from what he already said five times, he did not hear us and we slapped. Then we must at least understand that these are our feelings, that this is our impotence, that he, relatively speaking, has nothing to do with it.

Traditionally, parents talk about how they punish children. They say: I told him not to spoil him, two said do not play around, three said, and then I can not stand it, and I spank. I say that you do not even try to understand why he does it, but he sees perfectly well that it makes you angry, that you forbid him, that you are frightened of it, but he continues to do it.

This means, often it happens that he needs your reaction, your feelings, your attention. Since he sometimes has no hope of receiving your attention in another way, he is even ready for this; even for your anger, even for punishment and so on. Because sometimes being punished is a very strong contact, this is a very strong parental intervention, this is a very strong parental feeling. And at this time, paradoxically, the child feels that you are with him: my mother has noticed me, slapped, screamed and so on.

О admin

x

Check Also

Child development up to a year by months: a development calendar and a table (lots of videos)

Child from birth to year: stages of development by month So, in your family a ...

Development of the child in one year and 3 months: height, weight, increase, nutrition, vision, what should be able to, toys

Child development in 1 year 3 months The first birthday is over, the second year ...

Child development in two years three months: height, weight, increase, nutrition, vision, what should be able to, toys

Child development in 2 years 3 months Your baby can already explain himself to you ...

Child development in 10 months and what the kid should be able to do: choose the right toys and games, learn new words and movements

What should a child be able to do in 10 months: age norms and ways ...

Development of a child in 8 months of life – the basic standard indicators (plus video)

All about child development in 8 months (development calendar) In the eighth month the baby ...

Child development in 8 months

What should a child be able to do in 8 months A newborn baby is ...

Child development in 7 months: what should a baby be able to do seven months?

To the child of 7 months. What is the baby capable of? The kid turned ...

Development of the child in 7 months: the ability of the baby, changing the regime of the day and the choice of toys by age

Child in 7 months development: adjusting the new regime of the day and picking up ...

Development of a child in 7 months: skills, height and weight, nutrition, lessons with the baby

Child at 7 months (development calendar) Every day you notice changes in the baby. This ...

Development of a child in 6 months: what should be able, weight and height – 2 videos from professionals

All about child development in half a year (development calendar) The first significant event in ...

Development of a child in 6 months – what should a child be able to do in six months

Abilities and skills of a baby at the age of six months Until recently your ...

Child development in 5 months (development calendar by months)

Child at 5 months (development calendar) The child on the 5th month continues to learn ...

Development of the child in 4 months of life (development calendar by month)

Child at 4 months (development calendar) The fourth month of the baby’s life is a ...

Development of a child in 3 months of life – balance and stability: a description and advice

Child at 3 months (development calendar) In the first year the child develops very rapidly. ...

Development of a child in 2 months of life – general information (video)

The second month of a newborn’s life The second month in the life of the ...

Child development in 1 year

Child development in 12 months Many parents, marking the first birthday of their child, are ...

Development of the baby before the first year of life

Infant Development Newborn babies grow very fast, every day the parents notice certain changes: the ...

Infant development in six months: height, weight, increase, nutrition, vision, what should be able to, toys

Development of the child in 6 months Half a year is not a joke, your ...

Development of the baby in four months: height, weight, increase, nutrition, vision, what should be able to, toys

Child development in 4 months The fourth month of life can be called a transitional ...

Infant development in three months: height, weight, increase, nutrition, vision, what should be able to, toys

Child development in 3 months In three months, the intensive physical and emotional development of ...

Infant development in seven months: height, weight, increase, nutrition, vision, what should be able to, toys

Child development in 7 months Your child turns seven months, which means that the time ...

Development of the baby in five months: growth, weight, increase, nutrition, vision, what should be able to, toys

Child development in 5 months At five months the pace of physical development is slightly ...

Infant development in eleven months: height, weight, increase, nutrition, vision, what should be able to, toys

Child development in 11 months Your baby every day becomes more mature, not far off ...

Infant development in one year nine months: height, weight, increase, nutrition, vision, what should be able to, toys

Child development in 1 year 9 months With each new month your baby becomes more ...