The child caught you in the bedroom for an interesting occupation. What to do and how to find the right words?
Home chores are completely completed, and the child has long been sleeping in his crib. Mom and Dad can finally be alone and do their own personal things. But suddenly, at the most crucial moment, quite unexpectedly, a baby appears on the threshold of the parent bedroom. What are they doing? – in his eyes, both amazement and fear are read simultaneously. At this moment it is important to try to remain calm and not to focus his attention on the seen spectacle.
Such scenes usually cause a mixed reaction in children, bordering on curiosity and fear. Having caught the interesting occupation of their parents, the baby may seem that the mother is hurt. To aggravate his perception may be nervousness on your part, accompanied by cries or angry statements about his visit. If this happens, dad will forever remain in the eyes of the child villain and torturer of the mother. If the parents are embarrassed, fussy and nervous, the child can see in this confirmation of their fears, which can subsequently affect his intimate life
Remember, the love scene between parents can cause irreparable injury to the child’s psyche. Sexual relations of parents should always be shrouded in secrecy, be in the restricted area, and it is better to stay out of sight and attention of the child. But if it so happened that the baby caught you off guard by his sudden appearance, you will have to convince him that there is nothing terrible in this.
If your child is very small (up to 5 years) , calmly ask him what happened, and why he came. Perhaps he was just afraid of the dark? Or did he want to drink? Be sure to ask him if everything is all right. When you have questions about what you did, say that my father did massage to my mother, hence the sounds and groans;, or Mom and Dad just hugged, because they are very fond of each other;. Add also that you love him, and hugging for loving people is quite natural.
It happens that children, waking up at night, are in a sleepy state and do not fully understand what is happening. In this case, put on your clothes and lead them to your crib. Children subtly feel your emotional state, so if you do not worry, they will not attach any importance to what they saw.
Child over 5 years old you can ask to go out for a little while and wait for you outside the door (or in your crib). After he leaves your bedroom, dress up and approach him. Without a shadow of outrage, ask him what he wanted. When he explains why he came to you, tell him in an absolutely calm voice: Honey, please, another time before you enter, knock on the door . If he is worried, reassure him that everything is all right. You can say: There are moments when mom and dad want to be alone. When we embrace, we do not want anyone to see it.
It happens that the children saw more than you imagine. Then they can behave somewhat cheekily to hide their embarrassment and ask you provocative questions: And what did you do there? In no case do not succumb to your impulses and do not scold them.
Do not shout or scold the child. Be calm and do not show the mind that something extraordinary has happened!
Years at 7-10, many children already know what’s what. If the child has become a casual witness to a bed scene, he may not ask about anything, believing that it’s a shame; subject. Therefore, it will be superfluous to talk about this first and once again show that you can talk with your parents about it, this topic is not bad and not forbidden. Just make sure that the child has really seen something; sometimes frightened moms, after a conversation, belatedly realize that the sleepy child did not notice anything.
In any case, first find out what the child saw. And it will turn out, as in one old well-known joke.