The child behaves badly: what to do?
Children often are capricious and roll up hysterics, and do it at the most inopportune moment. Parents at the beginning ask their child to calm down, but soon many of them lose patience and pass to the backs. As a result, children’s cries only increase, and the life of adults turns into a real test. Why does the child become uncontrollable, and how to adjust his behavior?
All children periodically experience the patience of their parents and get up such things that put them in an awkward position. According to experts, this is rational justification. Cries and hysterics are just natural stages of development.
According to anthropologist London University College anthropologist Emily Emmott, the main problem is the time that parents spend with their own children. An adult may think that a child receives enough attention. It is necessary for the baby that mom and dad are always there and belong only to him. Children do not yet understand that adults have work, friends and personal affairs, to which they also need strength.
A small person does not know how to explain intelligently to parents that he lacks their love and care. The easiest way for a child to attract attention is to loudly scream and stomp his feet. The fact that the desires and needs of others is important to consider, obviously for adults, but not for children. Understanding these things is not given to a person from birth, but comes only with experience. The child sincerely believes that he should always receive what he wants. If he does not fulfill his whim, the child tries to achieve what is desired by the method available to him, that is, hysteria.
All babies are deeply individual, and everyone can have their own motives for disobedience. It is the detailed analysis of the causes of the child’s bad behavior that is the key to his correction. To understand where the roots of whims and hysteria grow, use the following recommendations:
Parents often throw phrases to their children like they are enough to behave like a baby! . They are sure that as the child grows older, the child should become more serious. However, all children develop at different rates, under the influence of certain factors. Therefore, when assessing their behavior, it is not always worthwhile to be guided by the date specified in the birth certificate.
Psychologists advise parents to understand what age corresponds to the level of development of their offspring. In one area the child can outrun the peers, in the other – a little behind. This is absolutely normal. Especially often such contradictions in behavior are found among adolescents. 11-year-old child can talk as an adult, swing their rights, and the next moment – ask him to fix his blanket before going to bed, cook something tasty.
Adults find it difficult to put themselves in the place of a child and look at what is happening with his eyes. Therefore, it often seems to them that there is no reason for bad behavior, but this does not happen.
Of course, all parents are periodically angry with their child. However, to explain to the kid that he is doing poorly, you can and without abuse, insists the child psychotherapist from Lancashire David Spellman. The expert explains that parents do not even realize how much they hurt their child, talking irritably to him. Raising children, you need to show remarkable patience and find a balance between rigor and kindness.
If the child behaves badly, he needs to clearly say what he is doing wrong. If you scream, the kid just will not hear you. Pronounced in an angry voice, he would not understand. As a result, the child will only conceal an insult and become an outrage to spite parents.
When raising a child, the carrot works more efficiently than the stick. The person who was punished as a child remembers about this in adulthood and keeps a secret insult. Parents always explain to their adult child that they blamed him for his own good. However, experts are sure that only negative consequences cause punishment.
According to Professor Kehl, parents should focus their children on the moments when they are doing something right, and less to blame them for their bad deeds. In this case, what is good will be deposited in the consciousness of the little man. He will try to behave as necessary to earn parental approval. Continue to praise and encourage him for his efforts, so that the child continues in the same spirit.