Parent quarrels and scandals in the family: the impact on the child
We are all people, we are able to show the most different feelings, along with joy and happiness, tranquility and euphoria, we can be angry, be unhappy, tired and irritable. In dealing with each other, all our inner emotions manifest themselves and gain life, in one way or another, influencing the other person. Quarrels in the family are most often inevitable, the spouses differ in their opinions and approaches to different things, complete agreement and mutual understanding is a rare phenomenon, so family conflicts become a painful issue. But the well-being of the family, harmony in it are inextricably linked with the emotional state of both parents and their children.
Parents often believe that because of their tender age, their child does not understand the meaning of quarrels and disagreements, and so allow themselves to express clearly negative emotions without thinking about the feelings of crumbs at that time.
But the child is very sensitive to all changes in your behavior, he absorbs intonation, voices, taking to heart even the tense silence of his parents. What can I say about shouting and even assault.
Psychologists say that preschool age is the basis for educating the person, the character of a person, his attachments and attachments. Having absolutely no life experience, the kid is not able to understand the causes and consequences of family scandals, and even without taking part in them, he suffers mentally.
Regular family conflicts inevitably lead to a number of negative consequences for the child.
- Behavioral factor. Parents’ quarrels can provoke the development of the child as aggressive, hysterical behavior (some children become aggressive, angry, pugnacious, constantly provoke conflict situations among their peers), and, on the contrary, isolation, alienation, uncertainty (other children become closed, closed, they try less to communicate and, often, try to close from everyone). At first, a baby can beat and scream at toys, and then transfer the manner of behavior to everyday communication with people. The child may stop listening to the parents, behave uncontrollably, as the authority of adults is undermined in the eyes of the baby. Such problems over time only exacerbate the mental health of the child and further adversely affect the development of the character as a whole. At an older age, it starts to grow into bigger problems.
- Mental disorders. Constant nervousness, expectation of a conflict situation, tension, inability to take sides, makes the child more excitable, anxious, contributes to the development of neuroses and serious mental illnesses.
- Life experience. To choose their conflicting parties is one that is right, given the love of both parents, for the child is a very painful task. Seeing how mom and dad, who for a crumb are an indisputable example, quarrel and cry, the child begins to perceive a similar manner of relations, as the norm. He ceases to believe that friendly, gentle relations between people are possible. And later, in adulthood, he will begin to apply the experience gained in his own family, in relations with relatives and friends. As a witness of scandals, the child ceases to value the family as a reliable bulwark, and family values cease to be significant for him.
- Values. Inevitably, the development and adoption of life norms and values for the baby suffers. It is difficult to educate in the child love, tolerance, friendliness, mutual assistance, when instead of their manifestations in the family, the child more often sees reverse qualities, feels hostility, dislike between relatives.
- Gender relations. In conflicts between parents, the kid can choose his right, based on his own feelings and attachments. So, if he communicates more with his mother, senses its proximity, then regardless of the rightness of the mother will sing it out in a quarrel. Constantly seeing scandals and swearing, making in the eyes of one of the parents a victim, the child in later life can negatively treat women or men, becoming a misogynist or, on the contrary, hating men.
I have bad memories of parental quarrels. My mother is emotional and broke at all often. When I was the cause, it seemed to me that it was quite deserved, and when she quarreled with Dad it seemed that the whole world was collapsing. Still that sensation! I already have a little daughter. It happens that we swear, but I try to restrain myself with my daughter! I hope she will not have such feelings that I experienced as a child!