5 most strange reasons to give birth to a second child
Earlier I was sure that the desire to have a second child comes from parents when they consider themselves prepared for this event. For example, there was confidence in their ability to provide another baby, there was such a spiritual need, the family has a place of love and understanding, enough forces that you want to give another little man. In a word, the same as with the first child, only the confidence and readiness for the manifestation of parental responsibilities is much greater. But it turned out that not always it happens.
Over the course of my entire life, I have often heard very strange reasons for giving birth to a second child, which caused me only bewilderment. Let’s talk about this in more detail.
Reason number 1. It is necessary to give birth to the second, and then the first child will be selfish
Absolutely erroneous position. Any child will be selfish if he is brought up in an environment of permissiveness and indulges all his desires. I have many life examples before my eyes, when the family had several children, but, nevertheless, the egoists were there. Since this could happen, if following the above logic, only an only child can be selfish?
The thing is that children who receive more parental affection and permissiveness become egoists in families with many children; ; the youngest; the best; If a child feels that he is being isolated, and he is the main one for his mother, then he will certainly start using it. Over time, he will become a real egoist.
And what happens to the one who was deprived? He gets used to the fact that to achieve his goals, he needs to be alert all the time, not to click his beak, to win toys, love and parental attention. Therefore, he tries to grab more and better, otherwise nobody will take care of him. Rudiments of selfishness appear here.
It turns out that only as a result of improper upbringing, children can become selfish. How many of them will be with mom and dad, does not matter at all. The main thing is the approach to children and the proper arrangement of priorities.
Remember, single kid does not mean lonely. He has a mom and dad, grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts, uncles, also friends of the family and neighbors. With all of them you can contact – take care of the elders, help the parents around the house, play with the neighbors’ children, share toys with them.
If you have an animal in your house that needs constant care, then it’s hard to come up with a better way to turn your baby into a caring altruist. (we also read: pet for the child: the rules of choice and tips for caring). If this does not help, then the birth of the second child will not change anything.
Reason number 4. The first child will be much more fun if there is a second
This phrase can be perceived as a mockery. How do you solve the problem of boredom of the elder? If you make your nanny a nanny who will be asked to bring a bottle from time to time, hold a pacifier or toy with a toy? Already do not take into account the fact that you for a while generally drop out of the life of your older child - childbirth, recovery after them, caring for a newborn baby. All this does not contribute to his fun, believe me.
Do you really care that your kid has someone to play with, and do not justify your desire to have a second child with such reasoning? Then let your first-born bring friends to your home, allocate him a special place for games, think about how to organize his leisure. Remember that children are drawn to their peers, so do not expect siblings of excessively close relations from their siblings. Older children are not interested in playing with the younger ones. It is a fact. It happens only because of despair.
And most importantly. You can not use the second child to entertain the first. It sounds kind of humiliating, even if you just plan to give birth.
With this approach, honestly, it is better not to give birth to the first one. A child, comrades, he is not a plush toy. It must be desirable. Beloved. It must have resources in all senses.
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