How to distinguish development problems from poor parenting: 4 alarm signals
Whims and disobedience is the norm for all children who are just entering the path of socialization and do not yet know the norms of behavior in society. The problem is that when a child is very small, it can be difficult for parents to understand the nature of their aggressiveness, hysterics, inattention. What are these problems with the development of the baby, which require treatment to a neurologist and other specialists? Or are the strangenesses in behavior explained by the usual lack of education? The advice of a professional psychologist will help parents find answers to these questions.
To quickly understand the reason for the strangeness in the behavior of the child, mom and dad is useful for a few days to become ideal parents. In this period of time, in any situation, you should remain calm, do not shout at the baby, do not scold him, do not show irritation and discontent. Ideal parents do not need to demand impeccable behavior from the child, because he does not yet own the etiquette, good manners, does not answer completely for his words and actions. At the same time, your requirements for the baby should be objective, consistent and consistent with the actions of other family members.
If the problem lies in the errors of education, then during the experiment the behavior of the baby will improve. Of course, he will not immediately turn into an angel. However, feeling positive and understanding from the parents, the child will be more willing to listen to them, will begin to agree to fulfill their requests. The main conclusion of the test for breeding is as follows: that the child behaved well, parents should be attentive to him, sympathetic and benevolent.
When you behave yourself well, the child also behaves better.
If during the experiment there was no positive dynamics, it is necessary to highlight the main problem in the behavior of the baby – the one that causes parents the most anxiety. Perhaps, the child closes for a long time in itself or, conversely, rolls long tantrums. Observe what provokes such reactions, as the child behaves during these periods, making appropriate entries in the diary. In the future, this will help the specialist diagnose and make recommendations for upbringing or treatment.
During observations, and indeed in any situation, You can not blame the kid for not obeying and upsetting the parents. Adults need to understand that the child is also suffering. Every kid wants to receive encouragement from his mom and dad, to hear approving words. If he does not deserve this because of his bad behavior, perhaps he just is not able to behave differently.
When filling out the diary, pay special attention to:
- Date and time. Deviations in behavior and mood swings in toddlers are often provoked by drowsiness, fatigue, bad weather, unpleasant sounds and even too bright or dim light in the room.
- Thirst and hunger. Caprices and tantrums can serve as SOS signals, which indicate that the child has time to feed and water. From a hungry baby, one can hardly demand perfect behavior. Even adults, skipping the next meal, often become nervous and can not concentrate on anything.
- Temperature. Any pediatrician will say that it is better for a child to feel a slight coolness than sweat in too warm clothes. Kids are difficult to tolerate the heat – it becomes physically bad for them, and then it’s not up to parental requests and demands. At the same time, a frozen child can also remain deaf to your requests and demands.
- Reactions to praise and blame. Endorsements and reproaches are tools that help parents educate a small person. If the child is happy, when he is praised, he is upset when he is scolded, these are positive signals. With its development, most likely, everything is fine, and the problem lies in the mistakes of education.
- Presence of spectators. Children quickly realize that with the help of manipulation, you can achieve a lot from adults. Observe how the child behaves when visiting and in their absence. If in the presence of strangers he is a good child, and scandals begin only with his parents, the baby is perfectly developed and smart.