Mobile phones in active use with us not so long ago – about fifteen years. Each year, the lower limit of the age of owners is delayed for several months.
If initially the need for this kind of communication was recognized for practically an adult (17–18 years old) person, now the lower limit is seven years. In reality, we increasingly see children of Sadikovsky age with mobile phones in their hands: someone takes them from their parents, someone already has their own. Why are there kindergarteners!
It happens that a child cannot get out of the carriage, but he is quite confident with the phone. “They just gave me a minute so that he would not be capricious,” parents are justified when they are told that this is not very useful from a certain age. “The trend continues,” phone manufacturers and cellular network operators happily say, developing all new models and service packages. And children’s psychologists, agreeing that progress cannot be avoided, are urged to preserve common sense and understand why you are actually buying a phone for a child.
Previously, other phones are bought by parents, for whom it is not enough just to love a child. They need to show this love to others, make an impression or just remind themselves how loving and wonderful they are. Shopping for this purpose is best suited.
They are visual and done quickly. You will not tell everyone that you have opened a bank account in the name of the child.
But the thing – expensive at a cost or such that at some age is not at all – will be noted. “Wow, how they love you – they bought such a toy!” – these words are just heart balm for demonstratively loving parents. At the same time, for themselves, they may have modest requests: the installation “everything and a little more” applies only to the child. The reason, of course, lies in his own childhood.
For example, in that the parents at one time showed too little feelings, did not express their love, did not talk about it, and answered the question “How do you love me?” They answered: “You are asking nonsense.” Growing up, such a child has an increased need for expressing feelings and seeks to compensate for his lack of emotions by intercourse with his own child.
But how exactly to do it, he often does not know. Not knowing how to love at the level of simple communication, he transfers everything to the realm of the material.
A real cult of children forms in the family and has existed in this form for several generations. Only the evidence of this love changes depending on the requirements of the time: parents for their three years received a gold bracelet with pendants in the form of clowns and dogs, while they themselves buy their latest phone.
The child cannot actively use either a bracelet or a phone, but this is not the main thing. The main thing is that the “I love – it means I give” formula is implemented.
It also happens in families where there is a dispute over who is better and who loves more. For example, after a divorce, mom and dad, as well as grandparents from both sides begin to compete in the significance and value of gifts.
When all the ideas about ordinary toys and entertainment are realized, the purchase goes to a more serious level.
Adults who find themselves in a situation of competition often lose their criticism of their actions and motives. Sometimes they are so addicted to evidence and demonstration that they forget about real attention. If, buying a preschooler phone, in your heart you think: “No one else has this … let them know how I love him … everyone will probably be surprised,” be sure to think about what you can do.
After all, the child probably needs the option “sincerity and attention.” Include it in your communication with him as quickly as possible.
When a child does something out of age, something that he, by generally accepted standards, is still early to do, it causes surprise and respect. The same applies to activities that are not typical of most children, and the ability to express their thoughts in a different way from others.
A child who sits and reads on the playground, instead of playing catch-up or swinging on a swing, will surely attract attention. Especially if he reads “Fathers and Sons”. Attention, this will be positive: “Wow, what a clever child you have.
And I would only rummage or rush headlong in the sandbox ”. Approximately the same impression is made by a small child, famously managing with the phone: “I figured it out myself: he knows how to call, how to set up a speakerphone, how to open pictures.
Even the password itself has been set! Very capable. Parents who are very attracted to the theme of early development, who want to see their child in such an advanced way, are taught to the computer and to the phone early.
They like the fact that a child masters everything independently, that he is always in business. The phone and tablet initially act as useful toys, and are acquired for personal use when the need becomes constant.
Of course, most parents are well aware that intellectual development is a multifaceted and complex process, and they make efforts in this direction, and mastering the phone is considered just an added convenience. But there are those who are sure that if the child himself understands the phone, then nothing more should be done – and so too clever.
Frequent “communication” with the phone raises the threshold of perception and impairs attention in general. If, seeing a child with a mobile phone in your hand, you think “intellectual”, “well done, it doesn’t stick, but he found a lesson”, “I envy you, I had to go to the library at his age”, then you urgently need to distract him from the phone and do together something simple and primitive by the technical standards. For example, cubes and soap bubbles.
Sometimes they promote intellectual growth more than the global information network.
Convenience and confidence – the main advantages of mobile communications. For anxious people this is of great importance.
In addition, the phone eliminates many uncomfortable situations, helps to cope with emotions, distract. Conflict at work? You can write about this girlfriend, and all at once all at once.
Someone may send a funny video on the topic of “evil chef” – that’s already easier. Parents who feel vulnerable in many situations tend to distrust others.
On the child, they transfer their feelings to the world. They themselves are from childhood and very well remember the state of discomfort and resentment, when there is no one to help, and you yourself do not know what to do. They represent that a child in kindergarten or school is insulted, oppressed, ignored.
Phone at least some of these problems will solve. For example, what will he do if everyone laughs at him? Cry, worry, sit somewhere in the corner.
And with the phone, he can immediately call and complain (or at least just look at him, showing calmness and indifference). When buying a phone, such parents usually hand it with the words “You will call if anything happens.” This “if that” in itself convinces the child that the world is unkind even within the group of a kindergarten or school class, that there is much to fear in it.
Instead of pinning hopes on an emotional order on your phone, you should teach children to look for ways to solve different situations and instill confidence in them. A child who is always in touch with his parents is difficult to adapt in a team and learn independence.
So the phone sometimes turns out to be help, which only gets in the way.