War and Peace

War and Peace

Three-year-old Cyril often offends his younger brother Roma. From the side it looks like “hazing” – the elder offends the little one.

But their mother perceives the situation differently: “Kirill does not yet know how to express herself in other ways, so I quickly interfere and explain that this is not the way to behave.” In this situation, this is the only solution – patiently, over and over again, to explain to the child that it is not worth expressing your feelings with the help of pushes and tweaks. Many parents panic when their offspring begin to bite, push and spit.

In fact, if you treat this as a certain stage in a child’s life, everything becomes simpler and clearer. The child is still too small to be aware of his aggression, but nevertheless in certain situations he feels anger and expresses it in an accessible way.

At the age of 2-3 years, children are not yet able to recognize their own emotions and, accordingly, to control them. The kid tries to establish a causal relationship: “If I do it, what happens then?” So he gets experience, learns to recognize the intentions of other people, begins to understand what kind of response his actions can cause.

Speech at this age is still underdeveloped, it is not always possible to achieve the desired words, and he uses physical force. Do not let everything take its course, expecting the child to mature and change their behavior.

It is necessary to explain the rules now, then it will be much more difficult. Do not expect the child to immediately respond to your calls for a peaceful resolution of the conflict.

You will have to be patient, be consistent and persistent. The natural course of the child’s development, coupled with your efforts, will surely bear fruit, and gradually he will learn to better regulate his emotions and become less impulsive.

Even if you took preventive measures and explained to the child the rules of behavior, this does not guarantee that he will not fight with his friend because of a scoop or a typewriter. If you see a baby biting, pushing and spitting, try to stop it immediately. Do not do it roughly and abruptly, go without a cry, try to speak calmly.

If the child does not listen and is too angry, take him aside and temporarily away from the game. Say: “You are very angry, you need to calm down a bit.”

Then help him to return to the game, make peace with a friend.

Children have a rather vague idea of ​​how their behavior affects others. Try to explain to the child how his friend feels when he offends him. Say: “You hit Sasha, and now it hurts him”; “I understand that you did not want to share a typewriter with him, but you cannot offend other children.

You can just say no or don’t. Small children are as upset as adults when they lose their temper.

After a short break, talk to your baby in a calm and sympathetic tone.

War and Peace

Do not insist that the kid play with everyone. Sometimes children begin to behave aggressively towards others and try to exclude them from the game.

This is quite a normal process of social development of the child. Already at this age, children compete, try to become leaders, or, on the contrary, take a defensive position and are cautious.

During the game, children often form small groups of several people, whom they consider to be friends.
The rest of the “entry is prohibited.” Children are jealous of those who invade their team, and aggressively react to newcomers. Some they begin to offend, thereby excluding them from the game.

If you notice something similar, wait until there is no one around and talk to your child: “I saw how you excluded Misha from the game, you hurt him, and it’s not good to do so.”

Say: “I understand that you were angry, but you still can not fight.” This will help the child understand his emotions and teach him to distinguish between them. Do not ask the kid for an explanation.

If you want the child to explain why he behaves this way, you expect him to act consciously. At this age, the child most often acts impulsively, feels anger and reacts immediately. He still does not regulate his behavior very well, so your intervention is so necessary.

You help him control his emotions, cool his ardor and give the necessary explanations. And so on until he learns to express aggression in other ways accepted in society.

Teach your child to apologize to those he hurt. Tell your baby that it is difficult to apologize, because it means admitting your guilt.

It is bad to offend others, but if it did happen, it is very important to apologize and say that you are really sorry.

Teach your child to solve problems peacefully in the form of a game. Play a conflict situation: you play the role of an offender, who took away a favorite toy from his friend. Show how to solve conflicts with the words: “This is my machine – return it to me, please.”

If this way the toy could not be returned, the baby should ask for help from adults. Play these situations often so that they are well established.

Try to play at ease and naturally, do not make “pedagogical” conclusions, the child will understand everything through the game.

Children consider that any attention is better than its absence. If the baby sees that when he is a hooligan, you always react, he will use this method to get your attention.

What if the mother of one of the children playing on the playground “does not notice” how her child sank his teeth into the hand of your baby? You need to intervene and “turn it on” into the situation. Mark the problem: “Your child has just hit my daughter.

Can you talk to him? ”As soon as the little ones calm down and stop crying, separate them for a while, let them play separately. If this does not work and the situation is heated, you better leave the site. If the mother of the pugnacious baby thinks that there is nothing wrong with the behavior of her offspring, you will have to limit the communication of children.

Be sure to explain to your child why you are doing this, and in no case speak about this child with hostility or hostility. He has not yet learned how to behave acceptable, they do not help him in this, but this is not his fault.

However, in most cases, the other mother will be uncomfortable for the behavior of her child, and she will try to take educational measures to calm down the little fighter.

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