If the child still does not even know how to speak, he can already be taught to show gratitude with a nod. By 3 years it is easy to achieve a polite “thank you!” Or “no, thank you!”.
But this skill is still very far from the true gratitude that we would like to see in our children. Words are just words!
Kids perceive the world as created specifically for them. Everything revolves only around their needs and desires. And that’s fine.
However, it is necessary to start laying the foundation of good manners from an early age.
First of all, we need to pay attention to the example we set for our children. After all, children imitate us in everything, whether we like it or not. If the kid sees that you do not forget to say thank you, this word will become mandatory, important and necessary for him.
Try to track if you replace the words of gratitude with the phrase “Well, good!” Or “Yes, yes …” when the postman brings the letters, or say, if you comment on the gift with the words: “She tied these napkins herself! It cost her nothing!
She didn’t spend a single ruble on them! ”It is much more useful for children to hear how much time such handicrafts can take and how much labor and love were invested in these lacy gifts.
Only you can teach your children to be grateful, to see the efforts of other people and to notice what you need to say thank you for. After all, the gift is primarily not money spent, but attention, time, choice and care.
In different situations, depending on your statements and attitudes, the child’s personal qualities will be shaped. If during a telephone conversation you will thank the interlocutor for the kind words, if, saying goodbye to the guests, you will say thank you for a nice time, attention and communication, the child, having grown up, will do the same, and not only in relation to other people but also to you. After all, it will be nice to hear from an adult son or daughter something like: “Mom, thank you for calling!” Or “It’s very nice that you found the time to come to us!”
With your attitude to life, you form the attitude to the life of your child. If you have never uttered the word “thank you” for the whole day, have not found a single thing for which you can be grateful, you yourself need to learn to appreciate what you have.
In addition, you need to pay attention to whether we say thanks to the child himself. It is very important to show the kid thanks for his little good deeds.
Try to celebrate any children’s good deeds. Say thanks for the fact that the baby gave you candy, brought the phone or wiped the table with a cloth. Do not take it for granted that the baby just picked up the handle that fell from your desk or put away your toys.
Tell him not only “well done!”, But also “thank you” for helping you with something.
Undoubtedly, parents want to give the child all the best. And often the baby gets used to the fact that the most delicious piece or the last chocolate bar belongs only to him, which is, of course, the way it should be. By showing the child that he is dear to you, that he is loved and that you are ready to give him everything, teach him to take care of others.
Let dad remind you to treat mom with delicious cookies, and mom tells you that dad would be grateful if a crumb left juice for him. And the thing, as you understand, is not only the ability to share, but the need to understand that the care of others is highly appreciated.
Before expecting gratitude from your children, think: have you ever thought that what you are doing deserves gratitude and is not just your holy duty?
Many children grow ungrateful only because they believe that parents should have devoted their entire lives to them. And this opinion they have formed is not just.
They do not imagine it somehow differently. Those mothers who completely forget about themselves, about their needs, contribute to just such a perception of their care.
However, mothers, like all people in the world, have the right to enjoy life and enjoy its benefits. And if you yourself voluntarily give up all your desires and hobbies, do not think that someone will be grateful to you for such a terrible sacrifice.
It is worth learning from passenger airlines. When you go on a flight, you are informed that in the event of cabin depressurization, you need to take an oxygen mask and that parents should wear a mask first for themselves and then for the child.
After all, to take care of the child, you must first take care of their safety.
Do not hang a heavy burden of blame for the life devoted to them on children, let the children be grateful for the fact that you cared for them, not forgetting about yourself, giving them happiness while enjoying, rather than carrying a heavy burden. The main thing – generously giving love and care to the child, not to lose love and respect and to yourself.
There are several tips that can be used to consciously create a sense of gratitude in children. To begin with, you can introduce a tradition every day or once a week to find a few things for which it is worth being grateful.
Say, at dinner, call all that was pleasant for the day. You yourself will be surprised how much beauty is in life.
And a warm sun, and a refreshing breeze, and the fact that the seller helped choose the best fruits, and the courier delivered the package very quickly.
Let the child gradually learns to find in life that which pleases him, which is worthy of words of gratitude. If you adhere to this tradition, you will notice over the years how the baby matures and how its priorities change, from toys and sweets to helping parents in their lessons, life advice, and care for him.
Being engaged with children, use role-playing games in which, for example, the bear chose a gift for a bunny for a very long time, but he did not pay attention to it and offended it with his friend. You can play other games in which you thank the crumbs for the things you brought out of the box. For children 1-2 years old, it is quite interesting to deliver different items to you, hear how you thank them and then observe how you consider a new thing: “Oh, what did you bring here!” Cut out hearts from paper and hide them in different parts of the room, Encourage your child to look for them, and at each discovery, resort to hugging you and saying “Thank you for your love!”
Pay attention to the attitude of the child to the holidays, to maintain the ability to give thanks in the festive turmoil. Most children perceive the holidays only as an opportunity to get something necessary for themselves. Gifts are what interests them more.
Tell your child about this or that holiday, explain why people celebrate it. Make sure that the baby sees something more in the holiday: fun, joy from communication, preparation for meeting with friends and relatives.
Choose gifts for other people with your child, show him that giving is always more pleasant than receiving, because you sincerely thank you for your attention. Let family members take their time – they will take the time to unpack each gift in turn, consider it, thank the giver.
Pay special attention to helping other people. Collect together with your child clothes that have become small and old toys-rattles, give them to those who need it. The child will understand that not everyone has what he has.
Teach to appreciate what is, and not to take all good things for granted.
Do not strive to buy the baby instantly all he wants to prove his love and earn gratitude. This is mistake. Let the children dream of some kind of toy.
Then, having received it, they will really be grateful to you!