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Teach me to play!

Teach me to play!

Why do kids love to play so much? Yes, for the same reason why adults.

They enjoy the game, but unlike adults, they do not count on any result. By the way, this is the main difference between developmental activities, where there is always a clear goal, and children’s role-playing games.

The game is freedom! In her imaginary space, the child is free to do whatever he wants: to invent his own world, play any role, give things a different meaning and revive toys. The game necessarily happens knowledge of the world, yourself, others.

And such knowledge is necessarily connected with joy, with emotions, and it is this combination of the emotional and active plan that makes the game as developing as any other special activity. She, by definition, brings joy and this is also different from learning, which is often meaningless for a preschooler, without affecting his desires and emotions.

The most important and necessary children’s game in the period from 5 to 7 years, all psychologists call plot-role-playing game, when children present themselves as any (imaginary or real – it does not matter!) Characters, reincarnating into them. Playing in this way, they develop most intensively, acquire new qualities.

They have the first idea of ​​themselves and the world, they master human relationships, values, learn to look at things, taking into account different points of view, agree and align their desires with the desires of other people – literally put themselves in their place, trying on someone else’s role.

The process of children’s games can be compared with knowledge. A lot in a person’s life depends on whether he played enough in childhood.

Children who have not yet won out at school have problems with self-control, behavior, difficulties in communicating with their peers, they are more selfish, they also have more often such emotional problems as anxiety, aggressiveness. Of course, basic knowledge of mathematics, language development, ecology, and music, which are given in kindergartens, is necessary, but they can in no way give what the game gives. Training sessions should not displace the game: everything should be on an equal footing, although psychologists emphasize that the principle of the “golden mean” is not suitable here.

Games (especially plot-role-playing), no doubt, in the life of a preschooler should be more. In addition, if the child is loaded with knowledge, he may just get bored to learn, there will be an aversion to any form of training.

Although this may not manifest immediately, but, suppose, at the age of transition, when he finds the strength to demand freedom at last. True, the game then he will be different …

Infringement of the rights to a children’s game in favor of educational activities brings little good, because the most important human quality – the ability to communicate – the child never learns. And will he be sociable and emotional enough to attract people to him, even with knowledge? Simply put, in order to learn better and live happily, a child needs to play well and a lot in due time.

But it turns out that today it is not so easy for him to do.

In the childhood of modern grandmothers (those that are younger) and mothers (those that are older), children still knew how to play independently. And they are happy to tell how it was great and interesting.

The children walked in the courtyards, because it was more interesting there than at home, where computers were not yet there, but there were only television sets with a very small number of programs. And then the children were not obliged to read and count fluently to the first class. And it was good!

Today is not the case. Unfortunately, the usual children’s game is going through a crisis, because there is simply no time left for her either in the family or in the kindergarten. Children began to play less, and this is a problem.

No, they, of course, play both in saloks, and in hide-and-seek, and in board games, they draw, make from designers, but devote less time to their main game – role-playing, in which it is the relationships between people that are mastered. The task of the parents in this situation is to teach them to play, to give them this pleasure, and thus simply facilitate their adaptation in the world.

You need to prepare for the game, you have to teach the child to play, and first of all to lead the game, since it does not arise spontaneously. Earlier, when the game was naturally transferred from older children to younger ones, no effort was required from adults. Today, the role of the older child is most often assumed by an adult.

And it is much more difficult than to engage in educational activities with children. Where to start?

With myself.

Teach me to play!

“I can’t roll these cars anymore!” – these emotions are peculiar to any parent, but they shouldn’t follow their instructions. In a situation of persistent rejection of children’s games, an adult needs to make an effort over himself. It is necessary to teach the child to play, playing with him, and to learn himself, realizing how important this is.

In any case, the main thing is motivation, and if the parents, while playing, are serving a “lesson,” conscription and want to get rid of it as soon as possible, the child will certainly feel this and will perceive what is happening in the same way. First of all, the parent must find something interesting for himself in these activities, and half the success will already be achieved. The parent will have positive emotions, and for the child his attention and personal interest is the highest award.

Equally important is the emotional warmth and communication in this general process. Unleash the imagination, use the appropriate literature with a description of the games, attract a second parent – and you will have a collective creativity. Finally, think up your own game, give everyone a suitable role to make it interesting for everyone.

Parents can play with the child in any games, in any free time. You can on the way to kindergarten, in line at the clinic. For example, see which items are red and who will call them more.

Or guess the animal by description.

It is not at all necessary that the joint games of an adult and a child be long, because the main thing is the games with peers. Therefore, next to the baby should be his comrades.

A child should play with them if not in kindergarten, then on the playground, in the park, in your apartment. There are no giveaways with peers, the child will necessarily encounter other points of view, desires that do not coincide with his opinion, he will have to negotiate, and his comrades will not regret it as parents, and will not give indulgence. Everything happens for real, everything is equal, as it will be in adult life.

And he must learn this in advance.

However, the games are different. Psychologists testify that children who prefer aggressive games with fights, with rude names of each other, etc., often show aggression in real life in relation to their peers and relatives.

But in an aggressive game, you can take and change the plot. And an adult should do it.

From the plots of battles games unobtrusively can be deployed to the games, where if there is a battle, then it occurs in the name of some noble purpose. For example, the knightly tournament for the lady of the heart, or just a competition, who is stronger, faster.

A fight in such a game is no longer in the center, it is not an end in itself. For example, after the “tournament” all the “knights” and “ladies” can sit down at a common table to feast, share their stories about real knights. Adults should also take note of which scenes of games are named by psychologists as the most popular among modern kids.

These are the games “To the family”, professional subjects “To the train”, “At the construction site”, “Hospital”, “In the store”. Children still love to play with dolls, different animals, and cars.

They build garages and entire cities from designers, assemble transformers, play outdoor games.

In the game, children tend to fit into an adult society, not only imitating the professional activities of adults, but also copying their entire lives in games, as it appears to them. Children’s game can tell a lot about the family in which the baby lives.

So, one boy, playing dad, will take out the garbage, buy groceries in the store and offer his mother to go to the cottage, and the other will lie on the sofa and, opening an imaginary newspaper, ask his wife to bring him a “cold beer”. And according to the research of psychologists in the plot game of preschoolers 5–7 years old, it turned out that the most popular in our time were games based on the plot of cartoons and series.

And adult serials, those that are watched by parents and grandparents.

It is sad when children begin to learn the world on the basis of computer games, which psychologists, by the way, recommend only from the age of five. Yes, and the child should not play in the shooters, fights and transitions from the portal to the portal, but in educational games where you can simulate something, learn something good, good.

After all, having seen enough of wars and battles, children may well want to lose the memorable story among their peers.

In addition, if all the communication between the child and the father comes down to the fact that the first one stands behind the second and watches his game on the computer, this is wrong. Although this process is called: “they play.” This pastime does little, it replaces the full-fledged communication, but in no case is it.

And it’s quite another thing when a mom (or dad) cooks in the kitchen, and a child helps. They create together, they look not only into the pot, but against each other, they communicate and experience emotions – their own, and not computer characters.

The UK Psychotherapists Association warns parents: various games in phones, tablets and computers, according to medical research, significantly reduce the child’s cognitive abilities. In other words, the pace of his personal and psychological development is inhibited.

As a result, from their peers who spend time in games (and even better in games in nature), they are distinguished by lower intelligence indices.

Based on BBC Health

Teach me to play!

Should different sexes play different games? Of course, psychologists have more than one opinion on this.

Maybe, as in some “advanced” kindergartens in Europe, for greater tolerance, minimize, erase all gender differences already in childhood, without even naming the sex of the doll? Others, on the contrary, believe that it is necessary to divide children’s play areas even according to the color of the carpet: the blue bar is for girls, the red is for boys, so much the games they have are different and, most importantly, they must be different.

The boys, therefore, will maximally develop the masculine qualities – the qualities of a protector, the girls – feminine, maternal. Here, as elsewhere, you probably should choose a middle ground, that is, not artificially divide by sex, encouraging the general games of boys and girls, but also paying attention to the education of relevant gender qualities, correctly orienting and understanding that this also needs to be brought up.

And if the child does not play “his” games and toys? If the boy pulls the dolls, and the girl with the pistols in his belt plays a war game? Nothing wrong with that, psychologists say, most likely, the child just wants to see this world from different points of view and better understand the representative of the other sex.

However, if the kid prefers only such games, you can consult a psychologist. Sometimes the parents themselves influence the “wrong” preferences of the child, if, for example, they wanted not a boy, but a girl, and involuntarily accustom him to the girl’s activities.

By the way, according to studies of such a recognized expert as Z. Freud, homosexual inclinations in almost 80% (!) Of patients arose because of family relations. For other reasons, the percentage of deviations is much smaller.

By the way what children play and how, you can understand a lot about them. The game is very informative, it is an excellent diagnostic tool that can be used by psychologists and parents themselves.

You just need to know what to look for. If a child does not want to play alone, but only with an adult, why is this?

Perhaps the baby is experiencing an increased need for adult attention, which usually happens in two cases: if there was a lot of attention, then suddenly there was little or if it was never enough. In this case, trustful conversations, joint campaigns wherever you go will help, and, of course, you need to teach the crumbs to play on their own. The first task is to encourage him to come up with something himself, to launch his fantasy. “Let’s play in the city?” The child suggests. “Come on! – the adult responds. – And where will it be located?

Who will live in it? What will be in it, in this city? ”The child himself must answer these questions.

There are kids who prefer directing games, playing with themselves, playing the whole script. According to psychologists, such a single game can be a peculiar way of self-healing.

There, the child, without realizing to himself, loses his conflicts, experiences and finds ways how to cope with them. This role-playing game with yourself is very useful.

Another thing, if the kid plays only this way and in no other way and avoids peers. This can serve as a signal of difficulties in communicating with others, of undue vulnerability. Parents should be alerted if a child of 5–6 years is not able to name his role in the game, which may indicate a developmental delay.

If in games the crumbs of a lot of aggression, the heroes constantly fight, kill, bury each other in the sand, it means that the child has too many negative emotional experiences, and it is worth figuring out what causes them. Having noticed these features, you can correct them in time.

First of all for strength. How fast can a toy break? If it is fast, then, firstly, it can harm the child with its parts, and secondly, a meaningless purchase will damage the parent wallet.

Equally important is how you can play with it and what it stimulates. What qualities in the baby she can develop, what stereotypes of behavior?

So, you can compare such an aggressive character as the Ninja Turtle, with Ken, Barbie’s husband. The first sets up an aggressive game and the maximum (if sent by an adult) to play a defender.

And that’s all. Ken has many more roles: the protector, the father, the builder, the manager, and finally, just a friend or husband of Barbie.

Multifunctionality is no less significant. A good toy with which you can play more games.

And telling a little idea how to play with toys is also a very important task for parents. The designer is beautiful in this sense, from the best views of which you can build not only a car, but also a train, a plane, a city, a little man.

Material toys should be environmentally friendly, not harmful. Society “Examination for Children”, for example, puts the badge “sun” on the toy, if it fits the child according to these parameters.

Emotional and attractive toys. What does it mean? Do you like the toy yourself?

Is she aggressive? Is the color too poisonous? After all, too bright color may well excite the baby, violate its psychological harmony.

If the toy does not cause aesthetic joy, when you take it in hand, do not buy it. A badge of “Psychologists recommend” confirms the correctness of the parental choice.

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