… But it is worth a little chat with such a child, as it becomes clear that he does not have any special knowledge, but is aware of it in the same way as other children at his age. Nevertheless, the “talker” loves to express his opinions, give advice, convince, simply retell stories.
Of course, no one considers such a problem as a problem. Well, except that parents who just get tired of this kind of activity: “We cannot talk at home so that the child does not interfere.
He will comment on any topic, discuss, interrupt, to tell something of his own. ” And they often intuitively react to it very simply – they do not notice: “I found a way to“ communicate ”- not to listen, but to nod and insert“ yep ”from time to time.
But I sympathize with the kindergarten teachers. It’s not easy for them, perhaps, with my child – he doesn’t allow anyone to say a word. ” There is no need to worry about caregivers – they have their own methods of work.
But parents need to listen to the child. At least in order to understand the reasons for such increased speech activity.
“A girlfriend with her son, the same age as my Pasha, was visiting. Watching their communication was funny.
Anton only had time to ask “What is it?” – and Pasha did not fall silent anymore. “What a clever he is,” said a friend. “And Anton is with us -“ why, ”he constantly sticks with questions.” When Pasha heard this, he immediately ran up to us: “But I am not why, but a son of a son.
I know everything myself. ” I even felt a little embarrassed for such indiscretion.
But, on the other hand, he responded well – as an adult. ”
Anna, Pavel’s mother (6 years old) and Masha (3 years old)
Very often, it is for the older child in the family that this pattern of behavior — not to ask much, but to be ready to answer — becomes the norm. Teachers of the lower grades always “calculate” children who have younger brothers and sisters: the older ones respond more boldly to the lessons, they are more willing to communicate with teachers and classmates.
Their problem is inattention and inability to concentrate when you need to listen. They constantly seek to control what is happening, pay attention to others, instead of doing their own business.
Pasha – the very “father” – doesn’t like to draw much. But when the whole group draws, it is necessary to comment on the drawings of its neighbors, advises which pencil to take, criticizes or, on the contrary, praises.
The most unpleasant thing for him is the requirement of the teacher to observe absolute silence. Often, this desire to control others is maintained for life. A person feels his responsibility even for what he has no direct relation to.
By the way, this is possible not only with the appearance of younger children. It happens that with such an installation and raised the only child in the family. Parents simply like it when it behaves like an adult, and they maintain and develop such qualities as prudence, awareness of actions, interest in adult topics, devote it to problematic situations at work, in personal life, even change roles ( , you can calm me down! ”).
Cultivate the theme “you are an adult” is not worth it. The right to behave like a child should remain with him according to his age.
“Ira only once asked what happened to the dog, why she was taken to the hospital. I remember, I said that so far I can not talk about it – she herself was too upset.
Then I thought about how to tell everything so that my daughter would not worry too much, but she saw that she didn’t remember about it at all. Behaves very lively, constantly comes up with some fables, talks about what was in the garden.
How then I was surprised when the teacher showed me her drawing on the theme “Animals”: a sick, bandaged dog with eyes closed. Apparently, the daughter is still experiencing, only she doesn’t tell me. ”
Polina, Ira’s mother (5 years)
Too talkative are disturbing children – this is their way to calm down, to feel confident. Actually, often adults in a state of anxiety behave in the same way – they talk a lot and on various topics, turn on the TV, discuss events. But in adults we see this connection, we understand the reason for the increased need for speech (“I want to distract, not think about the past or upcoming event”).
As for the child, the other behavior seems understandable. Sad, silent, asking questions about what bothers him – that would mean anxiety.
And if he says, without smoldering, on a variety of topics, then everything is probably all right. Yes, but … It is possible that the child has already behaved as we expect? He was already silent, and asked anxious questions.
Nobody calmed him down or supported him.
It is difficult to say in advance which of the children in such a situation will be silent, withdraw into themselves, and who, on the contrary, will talk too much. But in speech it is always possible to understand that the child is anxious. He tries to speak without pauses, sometimes in such a way that it is difficult to notice the transition from one topic to another.
He mixes reality and fiction, comes up with sequels. He tries not to ask questions, but at the same time he wants to constantly hold the attention of an adult (“Why, mom?”).
The state of this is energetic, even agitated, so parents often call upon the child to simply shut up, go about their business, or try to switch to quiet activities. In fact, the child needs to be simply calmed down, inspired by the feeling that “everything will be fine” and made it clear that adults themselves will take care of everything.
“We have become accustomed to the fact that the child speaks incessantly. Well, maybe such a character or heredity (by the way, I also like to chat). But when Matthew went to the first class, the problems started. “He doesn’t know how to keep silent at all,” said the teacher, “it even begins to feel bad.”
She advised classes in the theater studio. Now the situation is much better.
No fatigue, headache after school, and good mood. And the son is quite adequately concerned with the need to be silent, a whole lesson can sit quietly. ”
Veronika, mother of Matvey (7 years)
Hyperactive children also talk a lot, and other signs of hyperactivity may not be as noticeable. For example, a child who is constantly making remarks, is punished for bad behavior, can learn to restrain himself and then directs all energy to what remains available – to speech. Adults are usually satisfied, believing that they have coped with hyperactivity.
In this case, talkativeness itself does not usually bother.
The hyperactive child’s speech is very inconsistent. He jumps from one topic to another, easily distracted. It is difficult for him to listen to himself, therefore, even asking a question, he begins to interrupt or argue.
His speech in general often resembles a dispute: he describes an ordinary event on high tones, assertively, even aggressively. Peers may be afraid of such a child, even if he does not fight – the speech is perceived too conflict.
If parents ask to be silent, the child, most likely, will still speak, if only with himself. For example, will look out the window and comment out loud everything that happens there. Parents of such a child should first follow their own speech, because hyperactivity is often a problem for the whole family.
Adults in the same way, on raised voices, they say, constantly make complaints, discontent, comment on everything that happens around. It is difficult for them to change the style of behavior, but this is the main condition for reducing speech hyperactivity in a child.
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