Your baby is three years old, and he is ready to go into the “big light”. Large in the literal sense of the word: premises (game room, dining room, gym), people (teachers and other, more adult children), daily classes (primary preparation for school) – all this will be different for him than before, and his life will gain a different scale. At first, the child will most likely be confused or even depressed by this new world.
A trip to kindergarten will mark an important stage in the development of the child: he will learn to live in a team and at the same time get used to independence. These two main skills he should acquire in the first year of his stay in kindergarten.
Of course, the teacher will instruct the child, but learning is a complete process, so you, for your part, can help your baby become more independent. Do not hesitate: take a vacation to direct the child on the right path.
What will be the most difficult for him? Parting with you. If he is already able to put up with her, then he is growing up.
It is not by chance that experts advise giving the baby to the garden at about three years. This age corresponds to a very specific level of development of the child: he walks confidently, expresses his thoughts quite well, his consciousness is structured and the desire for independence begins to manifest, which you should strongly encourage.
If you yourself truly want the child to grow up, then this desire will manifest more clearly with him. It is not enough to constantly repeat to him that he is no longer small, you need to rebuild his daily life accordingly.
Involve the kid in a common cause. Let him help you set the table, hold the bowl when you cook something, clean the egg for the salad.
During the summer days that you spend together, you have plenty of opportunities to entrust the baby some minor troubles.
If he has a younger brother or sister, strengthen him in the status of an elder: let him give the baby a nipple, give him a lullaby. And “for sweet” allow the eldest to sit with you in the evening, when the little one was already put to bed. Use this time to communicate with him.
Listen carefully to what he will tell you, and make it clear that you were interested. Play board games with him and dad.
This will allow the child to measure his strength with you and – who knows – maybe even win! The more often you attract him to participate in common affairs, the faster he will gain self-confidence.
You are constantly with the child: it is difficult for you to leave him alone or to trust his relatives. Your thoughts, your actions – everything revolves around him.
How can he become independent? It is time to show some “cruelty”: from time to time, let him play alone with friends, leave longer with dad, grandmother or grandfather and, most importantly, do not interfere if he argues with other children.
Constantly standing behind the child, you risk to suppress his will, which means that later it will be very difficult for him to express himself without your help.
You used to call your baby “the sun”, “rabbit” or “kitten”. Be careful!
Let these gentle nicknames mean a lot to both of you, but if you use them all the time, the child will feel very dependent. This is not about excluding them from communication altogether, but try to call the child by name as often as possible.
In this way you will demonstrate that you recognize him as an independent person.
In kindergarten, some children speak little or unskillfully: they hardly find words, often make mistakes, use inaccurate expressions. When the baby feels that they do not understand him, he begins to get nervous. The teachers confirm: the more difficulties a child has with speech, the more sharply she reacts to misunderstanding of others.
In addition, many parents have a bad habit of anticipating the slightest desire of the child. As soon as the baby opens his mouth, they are already in a hurry to satisfy his request.
Sometimes a glance or gesture is enough, and the baby immediately gets what they want.
Among pediatricians, there is a joke about a boy who did not begin to speak. Parents were in despair: no matter what specialist they turned to, no one could explain the reason for his silence.
Once at the table already matured boy asked to give him salt. “Why did you keep silent for so long?” Exclaimed anxious mother. “Until now, the service was impeccable,” the son answered.
Mastering speech, the ability to use words to the place is one of the main tasks of the first year of being in kindergarten. You should gently but persistently teach your child to formulate phrases correctly – at least the most significant.
A separate difficulty is that in every family there are conditional expressions that can be incomprehensible to an outsider. Here is the story told by a young teacher who worked in the younger group. Once one of the girls addressed her: “I want to make a flower”.
She was given paper and pencils. “No, not that,” said the girl. They brought her colored paper.
But the girl continued to be capricious, repeated her request, started to get nervous, knock her legs … Finally, the teacher understood what had to be done, and took the girl to the toilet. It turns out that “to make a flower” meant to go to the toilet “big”.
Mom found a very poetic image!
Soother in kindergarten is not the place. Because of it, there are many hygienic problems: the child leaves her here and there, she walks in a circle … In addition, children do not always show tact, and some will not fail to laugh at the “infant baby” sucking the nipple. To wean the child from this habit, do not be afraid to show power, if necessary.
Allow the nipple at first only during the afternoon rest, and then just before the night’s sleep. And explain that in kindergarten it will not be at all.
As for the beloved toy, psychologists recognize that it helps to transfer the separation from the mother more easily, so children can carry with them, say, a doll or a bear cub. It will take some time to teach a child to recognize his personal belongings, lace up his shoes, use a fork and a knife.
These skills are best instilled in him again in advance.
“Whose is this vest?” Ten pairs of innocent eyes stared at the teacher. The same thing happens in all kindergartens: at the end of the day there will always be abandoned scarves, vests, mittens, hats … Children are used to picking up scattered things behind them, so they do not care about their safety and often don’t even know.
There is a way out, of course: to sew tags on clothes. But this is quite a tedious job.
Decide with your child what to wear. Nothing, that he still does not remember his colors, soon he will learn to recognize them.
Do not allow to throw a vest in the hallway, shoes – in the living room, and shirt – in the bedroom. It’s time to get used to order!
At first, he will do it long and painfully. But how cool it is to get out of the room yourself dressed, even if the left shoe is on the right foot! A little trick: to teach your baby to distinguish the left leg from the right, stick to the soles of the paper in two different colors.
This will quickly help him figure out where that is. To tie the laces and fasten the buttons, the baby will need more dexterity and patience: children do not acquire the ability to precise movements right away (girls are usually faster than boys).
In some cases, the rescue may be shoes with Velcro fasteners.
It is time to learn to use a fork and knife, and also to drink from a cup, and not from a bottle. And finally, in addition to the well-known formulas of courtesy – “please”, “thank you” – you need to teach your child to linger for a while at the table, and not to run away immediately after he swallows the last piece.
If a child “forgets” to ask for a toilet, do not worry too much, because you have a few more weeks left. Summer is a favorable time: panties quickly dry in the sun.
During the afternoon rest, don’t wear diapers and put the pot in the toilet, in the space reserved for him.
Do not be alarmed by the thought that the baby will soon have to go to the kindergarten. In kindergarten, “unforeseen events” are especially frequent in the first days: children feel insecure in an unfamiliar world and do not dare to ask for a toilet.
Do not despair and do not let despair child: if he regularly sits on the pot, then cleanliness will be ensured even with a certain number of “accidents”. If he is out of modesty, he does not want adults to accompany him to the toilet, then he must learn to expose himself. Use pants on an elastic band.
Explain to him that you need to close the door behind you, wipe yourself thoroughly and not unwind the entire roll of toilet paper.
And finally, make sure that he does not forget to wash his hands. In general, be principled in everything related to hygiene: you need to wash your hands before eating and after using the toilet; should use personal cutlery and not drink from someone else’s glass.
Soak in bed? And do not dream. This is the privilege of bachelors or those parents whose children have already grown up.
Do not allow your child to stay up late with the expectation that tomorrow it will be possible to lie a little longer in bed. Experts caution: such experiments may have undesirable consequences.
Of course, vacation without rest will not be so pleasant, but it is not necessary to grossly disrupt the regime: a night’s sleep (10 hours on average) and a break for an afternoon nap — this is a routine that is adopted in kindergarten and is necessary for the child’s mental balance.
Do not forget that the first three months the baby will get used to the new existence, and this period will be especially tedious for him. Therefore, it is better to go to kindergarten in good physical shape. At the same time, it is not necessary to force him to go to bed, if he is too opposed – this can lead to sleep disorders.
Offer him time to do some calm business: to put together a puzzle, to draw, to listen to a fairy tale or to look at pictures.
Get into the custom of having breakfast with your family. If your baby is still bottle-fed, try to teach him a cup. At this new stage, among other things, it will be possible to move on to more varied and richer food: cereals, bread, butter, fruit …
Breakfast is not only a good recharge. It also has a positive psychological effect: according to specialists, children who had breakfast with their parents spend a happier day. Explaining this phenomenon, psychologists use a figurative expression: they say that in the morning children are “saturated” with their parents and therefore do not feel during the day that they lack something.
So start the summer tradition of family breakfasts and follow it after your child comes to kindergarten.
So, all the information collected, vaccinations made, settled the necessary formalities. Cherished day is coming.
Try to turn it into a holiday.
- When you bring a child into the garden, do not run away as soon as he is distracted by new toys, even if the teacher advises so. Your baby is sure that you will never leave him and you will not be lost suddenly – do not disappoint him. Be sure to warn the child that you leave for a short time and will soon return for him. Do not deceive his expectations and do not linger. In the first days, 2-3 hours in the garden are enough.
- If the baby cries and clings to you, begging not to leave him, you will have to stay with him, and you can only “go to the store” in a few days. Do not worry and do not worry. The main thing – do not rush and do not rush the child. Sooner or later he will get used, but his nervous system will remain in order and confidence in your love and support will only get stronger.
- Entering a kindergarten even with proper preparation is a huge stress for a child, so try to create a calm atmosphere around the baby, an atmosphere of love and participation: avoid home quarrels and conflicts. For a while, stop going to visit, to the circus, the theater, watch TV less. Restrain your own negative emotions, do not scold the child for his antics, do not punish the whims, often praise and encourage.
- The main manifestations of stress in adapting to a new environment may be sleep disturbances and appetite disorders, a temporary loss of self-service skills developed at home, a decrease in vocabulary. The kid may begin to lisp or speak for a long time, seemingly forgotten “childish” words. All this will take place within a few weeks, as soon as he gets used to the new habitat.
Telling a child about his future life in kindergarten should be reserved, trying to avoid the two main pitfalls: chanting and dramatization. It would be a mistake to idealize the kindergarten, say: “There you will have many friends, you will draw with colored pencils and paints, play games …” If you become too much to praise this establishment, the kid will quickly become disillusioned with it.
Do not forget, he will have to be among a dozen unfamiliar children, he will have to follow certain rules, not violate the prohibitions, obey the teacher. All this will require great effort.
At the same time, do not use kindergarten as a scarecrow: “If you do not stop crying, they will laugh at you in kindergarten!”, “You will write, you will not go to kindergarten!”, “Well, do not be afraid, you are already big , you will soon go to kindergarten! ”… And most importantly, do not talk with your child for a long time on this topic. It is better to invent a role-playing game with your favorite toys.
She will calm and cheer up your baby.