Главная 7 Child development 7 Son does not want to sleep separately

Son does not want to sleep separately

Son does not want to sleep separately

In your question you did not say how you yourself are experiencing this situation. How much does she suit you? Is it convenient for you to wake up at night, is it pleasant to share a bed with a child, is it comfortable to be unfree in the evenings, laying your grown-up son?

What does your husband think about this if your family is full? To begin with, it would be useful for you to find out what feelings you have about the current state of affairs.

Because if you feel good, then you are unlikely to change anything.

There is not enough information about how your son develops, whether there are any features in his behavior that are already bothering you. What is he like?

Alarming or not? How does he part with you in kindergarten, if he goes there? How to communicate with peers?

All these details would help to draw a clearer picture of what is bothering your son today, and how this might be related to a prolonged joint sleep with you.

From the point of view of theory, a joint dream of a mother with a child after a year postpones his psychological separation, and hence the likelihood of emotional maturity. The child does not feel the boundaries between himself and the mother, not experiencing the frustration necessary for emotional maturation due to her mother’s inaccessibility.

All this hinders not only the entry into an independent psychic life, but also prevents the child from using his creative beginnings, having made the transition from the concrete to the abstract way of thinking at the psychic level.

Undoubtedly, every child from birth is vital to have close contact with the mother. But if in the first months of his life he needs, for the most part, the physical presence of the mother (hugs, wiggling, stroking, breastfeeding), then gradually another kind of communication becomes available to the baby – mental.

When it becomes enough to calm my mother’s voice, and then her formed supporting image in the head. A child who has not learned to resort to internal objects for consolation may have difficulty in experiencing the temporary care of the mother, since in his perception she leaves him forever.

It is often difficult for such children to relax, to be distracted by something, to occupy themselves, to perform various kinds of tasks. And the matter is not in their abilities or the level of complexity of the tasks set, but in the colossal tension they are in until the moment of their mother’s return.

In order to weaken the value of physical connection in the relationship between mother and child, one should work on the emotional contact between them. As soon as he becomes reliable enough, the baby will be able to rely on him to withstand his mother’s absence.

Of course, there is no instant transition from concrete to abstract. This is a long process that can cause a whole palette of uneasy feelings in both the child and the mother (including fear, doubt, anger, despair, etc.).

Therefore, it is very important to tune in to it, having understood why you are doing this. So, once you agree with yourself, you will be able to negotiate with your son much faster.

О admin

x

Check Also

How to wean a baby from a pacifier?

Before you firmly decide “everything, from today no nipples,” think about how well the moment ...

Know the measure (about intimate and not only)

When bathing a child, be sensitive, especially when it comes to the intimate parts of ...

Angry at child because he looks like ex-husband

This is a common situation. Your ex-husband hurt you very much, betrayed you, hurt you. ...

How to stop constantly being afraid for your children?

Fear for your child (like any other fear) warns us about the danger – in ...

In your own way

Adults make predictions for the future at once, at birth. After all, even choosing a ...

Personal experience: Girl after three boys

The first psychological difference between a girl and a boy, which I realized: if boys ...

Foreign language for a child

With foreign languages, each of us develop a purely personal relationship. Some from the school ...

Lady perfection

Clean work. We start with an important rule – thoroughly clean the skin of the ...

We acquaint the child with time: useful games

Time is a difficult concept for children, they master it gradually. But, despite the individual ...

Develop attention

Scarce from the first month of life shows that he has attention. He looks at ...

Abuse of sweet leads to premature skin aging

But to succumb to sweets is not just to sacrifice your waist. Experts say it ...

Golden Key

The provincial theater in its repertoire pays great attention to high-quality productions for children and ...

How to take vitamins depending on the trimester

It is necessary to supplement the nutrition of the future mother with vitamin preparations. First, ...

Goodbye, diaper!

15 months: The kid is able to say that he has soiled his pants. 18 ...

Playing gardeners: practical botany for kids

Properly selected plants have the same beneficial effect on the body, mind and soul. In ...

How to help your child feel more comfortable in the house?

Experts in the field of education advise to teach children to communicate with others as ...

Baby hiccups

Hiccup is a reflex contraction of the diaphragm. A spasm occurs when the phrenic nerve ...

I want: all at once!

Strictly speaking, children under four do not react to advertising. And they react rather to ...

Give up

First of all, you should ask the parents who lead (or drove) their children to ...

Gene Game

The secret of human life lies in a filament meter-long and only a few billionth ...

Find a friend

In the process of communication, kids learn interaction and mutual understanding, get the opportunity to ...

Fast food: you can, but be careful!

Fast food is the main cause of mass obesity in developed countries. We get tired ...

How to wash the baby’s head without hysteria

Many children do not like to wash their hair, because they are afraid that water ...

Alcohol abuse during pregnancy harms the psyche of the unborn child

Researchers have found that one-time excessive drinking during pregnancy may increase the risk of mental ...