HAPPY PARENTS Utah, you have so many professional personalities. And you also mom! Is it possible to highlight something most important?
Utah It is difficult to say that the main thing is, because if all life priorities are shifted towards motherhood, then at some point you simply have nothing to tell the children about life. And children should be proud of their mother, she must be a guide for them. Mom should be not only a person who talks about happiness, but a truly happy person, showing children that there is happiness … But, you know, this is all theory.
And I had it before the birth of children, when nothing more important than creativity existed. I am not one of those women who dreamed of becoming a mother, everything turned out differently for me.
I met Oleg, the man of my dreams, and realized that he was the only one from whom I would like to give birth to a child. But the whole pregnancy did not experience any special sentiment about future births.
Maybe even more was the fear: what will happen next with my career, figure? But when the son appeared, I was overwhelmed with such joy, such happiness that I realized: there is nothing more important than this.
I didn’t understand with my brain, with my heart that this is my main mission, my true mission on earth ‒‒ to be a mother. It was a crazy blast of emotion! And one more thing is important.
Immediately after the appearance of Tolik, in just a few months, I wrote a new album. I fed my baby son for the night, got behind the wheel, went to the next yard, stopped there and wrote.
It was my only piece of silence, inspiration, where no one interfered with me.
S.R. When did the girls appear, was Anatoly jealous? Yuta He was waiting for them, with trepidation, he counted the days before their appearance, touched my stomach affectionately.
When the girls were born, Tolya realized that now in his life changes were coming and from now on his mother did not belong to him one hundred percent. Jealousy was, indeed, jealousy still remains. It is expressed in different ways.
For example, Tolya does his homework and in an hour begins to sob, because it is hard for him. Moreover, as it is: he does his homework, but Masha and Katya are not! What kind of injustice!
It is necessary to go on tricks: “Tolik, you write whole words, and they don’t even know how to write the letter a.” Although, between us, the girls already know how to read and write, despite their 4 years.
But we do not focus on this Anatoly.
S.R. You have a lot of children, a lot of work too. Do you think they have enough time that they spend with mom?
Utah I spend very little time with children. But the quality of our communication shocks me every day.
Here, for example, the last case. Tolik and I quarreled, shouted at each other.
And on such a note parted, going about their business. All day I did not go on my own, I was burned by a feeling of shame. I understood that I was older and wrong.
The next morning, she approached and apologized to her son. Seven-year-old Tolya looked at me and said: “Mom, and you forgive me.” And at that moment I realized that I was probably doing everything right.
I teach children by my example: if you are wrong, come and apologize, it will be much easier for you. Another situation was. I rubbed my leg somehow.
Tolya saw, asked why he put on sneakers that rub? “Because they are fashionable and beautiful,” I replied. “Mom,” the son said then, “don’t you understand that beauty and fashion are not the main thing?” The main thing is family and life. ”
Here we have such a guy growing up, so another question is who is raising whom and who teaches whom.
S.R. Utah, breach in the family, formed after your husband Oleg was gone, is it delayed?
Utah Time certainly treats … Oleg for me was not only the closest, dear person I loved and continue to love, but in fact a teacher, a guru, 10 years older than me. I wanted to reach out, learn from him, fit him. And our relationship was perfect, we did not quarrel at all.
Both understood that we were unreal lucky that we had each other. When my husband is gone, I have no idea what would have happened to me if it were not for the children.
These are the three most important people who actually saved me. Children in general are the strongest organizational moment in life.
Four years have already passed, and if I return at that time, I understood very clearly then: I am and there are three small children who are not guilty of anything and who want both happiness and joy. And I have to give it to them. I have no right to sink, sob, feel sorry for myself.
And, of course, the participation of my mother … This is a man who, I can say, pulled me out. She just moved in with me, and now we live together.
I bow to her for this, she is the best mother ever.
S.R. Do you feel that dad’s children are missing?
Yuta You know, lately they began to develop the theme of my marriage: “Mom, well, when will you finally get married?” This is my son’s favorite topic. Every man who came to the apartment, be it an arranger, a doctor, a mechanic, he insinuatingly asks: “Tell me, please, do you have a wife?” “Why is it a pity?” The man is interested. “Well, you see, my mom doesn’t have a husband.
And we need. Once he told me: “Don’t you understand that an incomplete family is not right?” And the girls are echoing him.
Come with them to the cafe, they ask: “Mom, do you like that waiter? Let’s get married!”
S.R. And with whom it is more difficult, with Tolya or with girls?
Yuta With Tolik. Girls, I feel better, I just know what they feel, because we are all girls. It’s all different with a boy.
He has other landmarks, he has a completely different character ‒‒ papa. He looks very similar to him. I am fast, Tolik ‒‒ is slow, so when we are going somewhere, it seems to him that I’m sucking, and to me, that he is sleeping on the go.
Similarly, he does his homework. Can do slowly, slowly, but will do it himself. At some point, I realized that I didn’t need our total five or four with him, I needed him – but only he earned it himself! ‒‒ three.
Let him do it himself. In part, I perceive Tolik as my teacher.
Tolik is a great child, but it’s not always easy.
S.R. Do Toli have any hobbies?
Utah Now the theme of equestrian sport is relevant. He likes it very much, he gladly takes care of the horse, not to mention riding.
But in general, Tolik is one of those children who are not very enthusiastically passionate in the generally accepted sense of the word. We tried everything: swimming, karate, judo, drawing, and music.
And I can not say that something led him to a state of enthusiasm. He much more likes to watch the world, tell some stories. He is special, and I understand this very clearly. Of course, we do dancing, we go to the pool, the school takes a huge amount of time.
We have a great gymnasium, with traditions, excellent teachers. It was for this school that I moved to the area where we now live, so that Tolya would go there on foot.
We have got a completely wonderful class, all parents in it are not simple people, with a certain status, but completely without show off and pathos. We are all friends! As for the employment of my son, I realized that we do not need to disappear from morning to evening at extra classes in order to download it to the full, as many parents now do.
Let him better a little sigh and have more time to be alone with the sisters, for example. What is also an important part of life.
S.R. What are Masha and Katya doing?
Utah They do not go to kindergarten, but they go to the kids club three times a week with a nanny, twice a week to the pool and just walk. This is enough for us. And now the girls began to draw very well, so from next year we will go deep in this direction.
As for a foreign language, for example, it seems to me that a child from the first grade does not need it. He would have to adapt to school, because the program is now very difficult.
S.R. Do girls have characters different from Tolley’s character? Utah Girls are more cheerful and light.
Tolik is a thinker, Tolik is to some extent subject to pessimism, he thoroughly and deeply approaches every process. He needs to get to the bottom of it.
Man! And girls are two lighters!
Leave them alone with each other ‒‒ they will laugh until you drop. They are not boring with each other.
Of course, there is an unconditional leader, this is Masha, who was born 20 seconds before Katya. Senior!
She is also more brisk in her character, brazen in a good sense of the word, more mobile, in her there is more of a sort of friggin ‘remote. Katya is a great storyteller. And a woman to the bone, the princess is perfect.
The sisters even pose for photos in different ways: Masha tenses up, and Katya does it very organically. Katya is a person from whom I will learn to pose, because I do it myself, like Masha.
S.R. What do you do if children do not obey? Utah Tough measures do not take!
There is a robust system of restrictions. For example, I bought very expensive vitamins for children, not the sweetest, but not the opposite. Tolya agreed to drink them, and the daughters said: “We will not!” (They always make a single decision and say “we.”) In response, I forbade them to eat sweets.
The first day passes without a sweet, the second day, the third … On the fourth, they declare to me: “You know, Mom, we don’t need any sweet, no sweets or cookies. Nothing! We are fine anyway. ”
On the fifth day, I realized that I would probably break myself. But how to look further into myself after that? Resist.
As a result, after a week they deigned to take these vitamins in their mouths so that they would be given a sweet. I began to respect them so much after that!
S.R. Do you think people are already born with ready-made characters, or is this category more educated? Utah Certainly, the nature of the pledged prevails, and the task of an adult is not to break it.
It seems to me that all children are born brilliant, flawless, perfect. But then they get into the society (and the family is also a society), where they see the relationship between father and mother, grandmothers, grandfathers, nannies.
Therefore, I believe that it is necessary to educate not children, you need to educate yourself. Self-education, in my opinion, is the most important thing in raising children. No school spoils the children, not the street, not the cartoons.
This is all a myth. We see in children only what they see in their parents.
I want all parents to understand their huge responsibility for this.
S.R. Do children attend your concerts?
Yuta Yes. They are very proud, sing along, know by heart a lot of songs.
And I, when they are in the hall, always say hello to them from the stage.
S.R. Are you more like a singer or a composer?
Yuta And so and so. I wrote all the music for the TV show “Family Values”, including my first romance “And to be like everyone else and become one of the first”. As a result, an entire album of my romances will soon appear.
As for the performances, in the fall a solo concert is coming dedicated to my 16-year-old creative activity. And I am also preparing for a very important for me, a landmark event ‒‒ the presentation in November of the Golden Gramophone for the song My Favorite.
S.R. Is it difficult for one, even a strong woman, to raise three children?
Yuta Help me. Mom is my main support and main person.
Children – they give a feeling of happiness, which overshadows all the hardships and difficulties. The most difficult thing is when children without me leave for the sea or to the country. You wake up in the apartment without them and start to quietly curl.
The houses are quiet, no one yells, no one throws toys or dishes, nobody irritates you. Everything is calm and … rotten. In these moments you start to wonder: who am I? and how am I without them?
And about the difficulties … Everyone is given the strength.