HAPPY PARENTS Sergey, do you have three sons of different ages – is the state of fatherhood different every time? SERGEY THE CARRIERS Differently.
It depends on the age of a man, on his experience. When the first son appeared at the age of 28, I was not too ready for him – I was at the level of an 18-year-old man, who was not aware of what was happening.
And with the second, and especially with the third, I already truly felt that I had become a father.
S.R. Do your sons communicate with each other? S.P.
Since they are all from different women, with two of which the relationship we have not developed, communicate very rarely. The eldest, Ilya, is 21 years old, lives in Almaty. He is with Darina familiar with Sergei.
Ilya did not see me for 15 years, because his mother asked me not to interfere in their lives. But when he came to Moscow, we became friends.
And I introduced him to his middle son, Sasha, he is 11 years old.
S.R. How did you meet Darina?
S.P. We have been together for three years, and met in Surgut, on the set of the film “Big Oil”. And it was fate.
Darinka worked in this picture, the deputy director, met and escorted all the actors. Early in the morning we flew in and nobody met us. An hour passed, two.
And I said that if a model finally comes to meet us, then we will forgive, and for no reason. And then a very beautiful girl appeared – Darina.
Of course, we have forgiven. And I immediately drew attention to her, began to communicate. I once played the guitar “You will wake me up at dawn,” and Darink … began to cry.
At that moment I realized that she was lonely. Although I had no idea that such a beauty at 18 could be lonely.
I then took her hand, and she put her on top.
S.R. Darina, Is it difficult to live with an actor?
D.P. Probably, we are really close to each other, because it’s not difficult for me.
S.P. Despite the difference in 28 years, we even have the same friends, she is with you all. Darina is the only one of all my women who calls my father (he is 80) a dad and you.
Such our “hit” is one in a million and given to not many.
S.R. And what, besides raising a son, is Darin doing?
D.P. Finishing the institute. S.P.
If she was a careerist, probably, we would not be with her. I was looking for a woman who would be just a mother, so that there were many children and that she loved to bring them up.
This is a real job, and I will do everything for it for this work.
S.R. Darina, do you agree with Sergey? D.P.
Fully agree with him. I want to stay at home.
Although all my friends say that it does not suit them – without work, within four walls, they will go crazy, degrade, etc. And I like it. Even when I have to go to the gym, and Serezha has a day off, I’m not going anywhere.
I’d rather stay next to him.
S.R. Tell us about little Sergei. S.P.
In his year and ten months he understands everything, although he does not say a single word yet. Once, on my tree, at my request, I showed a snowflake, although no one had told him what it was.
That is, already a year I was able to conduct an associative link from snow to snowflake. He loves all sorts of tools: he will see how I fasten the cabinet door with a screwdriver, and he also asks me, and he chooses it from all the tools.
Very kind: pretend to cry, so immediately runs to regret, console.
S.R. Sergey, are work and family equal for you?
We always Kalyagin says: “If you shut up only in the theater, you will go crazy.” And in the theater it happens, there is no work, and then this moment comes, if there is no family, there is nothing more to do, you can’t do anything else. And I learned how to make apartments on a turnkey basis: I started with a tile, then an electrician, plumbing.
In the 90s I could not make money in the theater, but go to the construction site and make money there. Family for me is my rear. I always want to go home: not to stay in the theater, not to get drunk, but to be with my loved ones.
And further. The psychophysical fulfillment of the role is a complex process that is associated with my peace, with my good mood, with my self-confidence. If a woman makes a man insecure in bed, for example, he will not be sure anywhere.
Everything is connected with the family. But for the first time I have a family that is getting stronger.
Every day, for three years now, I have only been striving to go home.
S.R. What is important for you in raising a boy?
S.P. The father should be an example for his son, and it is important to connect to education in time. At this stage, I absolutely do not need Serezha.
Now he needs love, caress, care. Now he, as they say in the East, is a “king”, but the time will come when he will go to school and will have to become a “slave”.
Then you have to build it hard.
S.R. Have you been through this with your elder sons? S.P.
I started going through this with Sasha, and it really was a tough talk. I never beat him with a belt, but I beat him.
He took off the belt and beat on his hand, even the scars remained. “You see,” I asked him, “what am I ready to do for you to study?” And he stood and cried and promised that he would no longer be. It is better for the child to feel this pain over the abrasions of the father … And then there comes a period when the child becomes a friend.
S.R. After the “slave” he can become a friend?
S.P. Will be able. He will already understand why his father behaved this way.
But such a mother, of course, should not be, such strictness as from her father, is not required of her. From mother – love, tenderness, kindness, the ability to feel someone else’s pain.
S.R. Darina, do you agree with such a plan of education?
That’s how it is with our son – love. Our only punishment is to take him to the room and close the door. S.P.
They say that parents, raising a child, should always be on the same side, and rightly so. But they still need to relate emotionally to the child’s deed.
Dad – is severity, mom – conscience.
S.R. What do you want for Serezha in the future? S.P.
I will not impose anything. Of course, I would like one of my sons to become a good actor.
Demanded. Although I understand how it depends on the circumstances.
And I really want him to be happy to be loved.
S.R. Would you like these qualities to be transferred to Serezha?
S.P. Well, if he meets a woman like Darina … No, let it be better in this regard more like me. Some things a man has no right to forgive, he must be principled.
Otherwise, he is not a man already.
S.R. Are you planning more family? S.P.
Now, with Darinka, I want not one child, but already three or four. A girl is a must!