In matters of life and work of Santa Clauses, there are many controversial points. For example, there is a point of view that Santa Claus is generally one.
He lives in cold lands and, surrounded only by deer and a few assistants, devotes his whole life to studying the desires of children and, if possible, their realization. This, of course, is true, because … just true. But – and you can’t argue with the facts either – at certain times on the streets there is a huge number of other Grandfathers Frost.
They almost do not stand out from the crowd of ordinary people and, as a rule, combine magic with the most prosaic concerns. It is not easy for them – and not only because in letters to themselves they often find whole lists and then painfully think which of these fifteen cherished desires is the most cherished. And not because separate letters (from those who are too small to make a competent request) have to be “deciphered” for a long time.
The main problem is that there is no textbook like the “Short Course of Santa Claus” or “Methodological Guide on the Organization of Magic”. And all the questions – even the most difficult! – you have to decide for yourself, focusing on your own children’s impressions, intuition and actions of other Grandfathers Frost.
It is not surprising that with this approach errors can be made. Nothing wrong!
The main thing – the desire of Santa Claus to make magic. And mistakes can be corrected!
Any miracles happen exactly at Christmas – and therefore children easily believe in Santa Claus, even if he painfully looks like a neighbor from above.
It is never limited to simply putting a gift under the tree. There are so many ideas in his arsenal that the holiday becomes unforgettable.
First, the children rejoice in the carnival and the appearance of the real wizard with the Snow Maiden or the whole retinue of elves. Later – adults – to how the transformed elves dance on the tables, and the Snow Maiden sings songs from the repertoire of the Madonna. No failures, no sad faces – this Santa Claus will think everything through to trifles.
To make a script, to play the role, to captivate everyone with the game – there are no problems for him in organizing the holidays. Most likely, this is his childhood and is due to the nature of the character.
Cheerful, very active, he always strives to cheer everyone and surprise everyone. And it is very happy when everything works out as planned.
But it happens that, despite all efforts, there are still dissatisfied. These are people who are … just tired.
And from the fact that we must constantly do something and participate in something, and from the fact that we need all this sincerely rejoice. After all, otherwise, Santa Claus may be offended, withdraw into himself, and then two weeks will go dark.
This is also a character trait – a change of states. And this is natural: with a high emotionality, the mood is both very, very good, and very, very bad.
And then people around are tormented by feelings of guilt, and Santa Claus – from the fact that he was not understood, not appreciated, not supported. “You try for them, try, and what’s the point. “- he thinks sadly, wandering through the streets of the post-holiday city, and his grave condition is aggravated by the appearance of burnt-out firecrackers and remnants of confetti, trodden in the snow.
Understand that people around can (and have every right) to be different. And even your own children may have a completely different idea of fun. So be indulgent to them and do not be offended by the fact that not all your ideas are perceived with a bang.
Be more attentive to the true desires of others – especially those who, because of their age, cannot yet insist on their version of the holiday. There are cases when you just need to reduce your activity.
Then everyone will get some rest, will have the opportunity to show their own abilities and, it is possible, they will begin to appreciate your magic gift even more.
“What you sow, you will reap,” he says at every opportunity and translates all proverbs about the importance of his own merits. Long before the holiday, he begins to record all the pros and cons in the behavior of others, conducting a periodic analysis of the results.
And those who think in vain that before the New Year Santa Claus will forget everything: he has a beautiful memory for the mistakes and miscalculations of others. Thoughts of indulgence about the holidays are also in vain, because Santa Claus is proud of his justice as the most important quality. To the extent that one of the twin brothers can give a set of machines, which all boys of this age dream about, and the second one – the book “Learn to behave correctly”.
And, of course, will remind all the cases that led to such a difference. To get the book to realize how bad it is not to listen to my grandmother, not to eat soup, to make trouble on the street – and would take the path of correction.
For quite a long time such Santa Claus problems do not arise. Children are afraid of him, obey, and he considers himself an excellent tutor and tells other Santa Clauses how to make the wards so silky. After a few years, everything suddenly changes.
Children begin to behave as if they do not care what a fair grandfather is preparing. They completely ignore his hints of the lack of gifts, allow themselves even protests and – most importantly – do not show any warm feelings at all.
So they themselves said: “What you sow, you reap.” If you want love, affection, feelings that you are not loved “for something”, but simply because you are, this is what you need to sow.
Of course, such an attitude does not preclude exactingness, justice, and even punishment. But a good Santa Claus differs from the ordinary in that he knows one secret.
The main thing that children need is love. It is she who educates them and makes them better.
And the New Year’s holiday is a great occasion to show it.
It is focused on quality and selects only the best gifts. As a rule, he does not expect letters from children, and if they do arrive, he does not take them very seriously. After all, he himself knows what the child needs.
Something grand, significant, impressive and delightful. Such that everyone thinks: “Wow!” And they realized that before them was the best Santa Claus.
Then he is happy.
But this does not last long – the desire to be the best can never be fully satisfied once and for all. You will still think about those to whom you wanted to prove your best qualities. Most likely, these are other Santa Clauses – especially if you have strained or conflicted relations with them.
You calculate their moves, suppose that they can give the child, and – prepare the gift much better, bigger and more expensive. Although, perhaps, you want to prove to someone who brought gifts to you personally – about twenty – thirty years ago. So that you know that you are doing a great job with your role – much better than them.
One way or another, but behind all such thoughts and aspirations, the one to whom this gift was actually intended is completely lost. He sits with a huge box, leafs through the instructions into a cube as thick and thinks: “Why did Santa Claus get so tense? I really wanted a hare … “
To part with resentment, anger and envy, which are the basis of this behavior. To do this, you need to try in every way to understand the actions of other people, to stand in their place.
Perhaps a frank conversation directly with them, perhaps – a method that in psychology is called “two chairs”. Its essence is that you are conducting a dialogue both for yourself and for the person with whom you are in an explicit or hidden conflict (ex-husband, mother, friend). As a rule, this leads to more understanding.
On the other hand, now pay more attention to your ward. It is his wishes that should come first.
Moreover, one of them is surely that adults stop quarreling among themselves.
It is so realistic that even he himself knows that he does not exist. Only tradition forces him to perform strange, from the point of view of a normal person, actions – to hide purchases, and then in the middle of the night to put them under the Christmas tree.
This is absurd, wrong and even harmful for a child – such is his persistent belief. After all, the main thing that a child should learn in childhood is that in this life you can only rely on yourself, your abilities, strengths and skills. Waiting for favors from Santa Claus is the same as looking for a flying carpet, an invisible cap and living water that saves you from diseases.
Santa Claus of this type usually does not hide that there are no miracles in the world. He is determined to grow his ward strong, brave and persevering, and therefore, even reading a fairy tale, he says: “Well, you understand, all this is nonsense of pure water.
In fact, this never happens. ”
Strangely enough, children with such a realistic approach do not become stronger and more enduring. On the contrary, they are more affected by a variety of disorders and disorders.
Fears, difficulty falling asleep, obtrusiveness and even urinary incontinence and stuttering – this is what the absence in the life of a child of Santa Claus, Baba Yaga, evil and good fairies and magical flutes turns into. Because everything has its time. A small child cannot realize the reality as it is – with all the difficulties and losses.
This is not always the strength for an adult, and the baby just needs to have someone who solves absolutely all the problems with a simple wave of a magic wand.
Immediately become a real Santa Claus – without irony and ridicule. It may be difficult for you to do this – in fact, often realists are those who in childhood experienced strong disappointment.
I waited, waited, but no one came … A small child’s breakdown can be so hard that he can exclude a fairy tale from his life for the rest of his life. Especially now you have a great opportunity to return everything and, giving joy to your kids, and to feel for yourself that miracles happen.
In search of a gift, you can see it in three stores – clothes, books and products for children’s development. No, sometimes he comes to the places of the mass accumulation of Santa Clauses – toy departments, but from there, bringing the saleswoman to fainting with questions like “How does the use of this object affect the cognitive field?”, Leaves with nothing.
No time – other wizards, not so concerned about the development of children, are being bought up by everyone. And it is completely unrelated to the presence of money in it – there are very wealthy people in the ranks of such Santa Clauses, those who can easily buy this whole department in general.
They are well aware that those for whom they are trying, would be happy even from one toy. But no.
The thought: “How can you spend money on nonsense, a gift should be useful?” Makes you buy new tutorials, educational games and specially designed designers.
And it bothers the child – that’s the whole problem. Does not bring this joy.
But joy is a very important and, by the way, very useful emotion for development.
If practicality, logic and a serious approach to everything are traits of your character, just force yourself to force yourself to do something completely meaningless. You yourself will benefit from it.
Often such serious people just lose their joy from everyday life, and life consists of trifles – and pleasant, beautiful, but at the same time completely unhealthy things also go into these trifles.
Even evil gnomes are ashamed of such a wizard – he lost a child’s letter and bought a dress two sizes larger as a gift. But he gave him only two days later – because on New Year’s Eve he had some important, very urgent business. Or – work.
Or – a business trip. Or – he was in such a hurry to meet the holiday with friends and girlfriends that he completely forgot … All this is not important at all, the main thing is that the child is sad.
The problem is that Grandfathers Frost is not chosen. Of course, as an adult, a child will learn to please himself and, perhaps, even understand why his Santa Claus always lacked time and imagination. But he still will not be able to reclaim everything that he did not receive as a child.
A sense of significance, a consciousness of one’s own value — everything accumulates from early childhood, gradually. And that is what will give then confidence and love of others.
Stop all the blame on employment and life difficulties. Delivering joy to a child is very simple, and anyone who sincerely wants it will always know what exactly is worth doing.
No cases can be an excuse for Santa Claus, who has not shown any attention and participation to his ward. Do not hesitate – children can all appreciate it. And then on New Year’s Eve they make a very good desire …