The assortment of children’s toys is growing every year, more and more various goods are appearing on the shelves – literally giddy from abundance. However, parents notice that for some reason the daughter does not crave for rubber dolls or a miniature copy of a vacuum cleaner, but looks at elegant princesses with an impressive dowry: heaps of clothes, accessories, carriages, horses, palaces and cars.
Many mothers and fathers complain that their daughters want to play exclusively in the ladies, Barbie and Bratz dolls, and every trip to the toy store ends with tears and persistent prayers to buy “one more such doll.”
“Of course, even before, the girls liked to try on the image of a princess or a fabulous beauty,” said Irina Medvedeva, a clinical psychologist and co-chairman of the International Society of Art Teachers and Art Therapists. – Many babies wanted to grow up quickly – back in the 1950s, the famous illustrator Norman Rockwell portrayed a girl trying on her mother’s clothes. But the children knew that only a hardworking, kind and modest girl, not a capricious royal daughter, who was accustomed to command her subjects and look in the mirror from morning to night, can achieve the honor, happiness and love of a prince. ”
The situation has changed, and now the princesses are more like glamorous photo models, whose main task is to demonstrate bright outfits, appear in glossy magazines and conquer men’s hearts.
“My daughter loves to play princess. Even at home she wants to flaunt in holiday clothes.
The other day I bought her a pretty little dress, which Nastya rejected with indignation, saying that “real princesses only walk in pink with rhinestones!” And how does she have such absurd ideas? ”- Nastya, the 4-year-old mother, does not understand.
The fact is that the taste is formed not only by the parents, but also by the environment, the children’s team, where the kid rotates, cartoons and characters that surround the child. Children react to everything colorful, colorful, which is why manufacturers of modern cartoons and dolls show up their heroines in dresses of poisonous colors – it is easier to keep the child’s attention and interest.
Very quickly the girl learns that flashy outfits are the standard of style. Look at how many modern dolls are dressed: decollete, miniskirts of pink-light green-gold color with a lot of sparkles, stockings, heels.
And certainly causing makeup.
“If it bothers you that your daughter wants to resemble her dolls, offer her a game of fashion designer and together invent, draw and sew new, really elegant and beautiful doll outfits. The hands can also make accessories: beads, bracelets, earrings, using ready-made kits for needlework or old, unnecessary beads and beads.
Such an activity will not only develop artistic taste, but will awaken imagination and interest in creativity, will train fine motor skills, perseverance, attention and help you master the shapes of objects, ”advises Irina Medvedeva.
Before the Barbie era, dolls, even beauties and princesses, did not have the forms of an adult woman, but were like children. It is no coincidence: the traditional doll is a type of child.
In the game, the girl became the mother’s position, took care of the “son” or “daughter”, fed, put to bed, bathed – and so she mastered the mother role day after day.
But many modern dolls are the image of an adult girl. As a result, the baby, playing only in them, does not mess with the dolls, does not “live” the role model of the mother, and this experience is important for the girl.
If the baby in her earliest childhood, at the age of 3-5, did not present herself as a mother (not a doll, but herself), her vision of motherhood would be simplistic.
“Modern heroines, in addition, form certain stereotypes of beauty: excessive thinness, a disproportionate body. They often have a disproportionately large head, wide-set eyes, huge lips.
As a result, the child’s perception of beauty is distorted: a defiantly spectacular and blatant baby begins to be perceived as a model of beauty, ”comments Irina Medvedeva.
Many dolls break traditional canons of beauty, contributing to the development of complexes in a child, because in the “human equivalent” its parameters would look like 99-46-84, which is absolutely fantastic. In an effort to be like an “icon of style,” a girl can begin to lose weight, exhaust herself with diets until exhaustion and the appearance of anorexia and at the same time do not even come close to an “ideal”. So the seemingly innocent craze for toys in the absence of parental control can in some cases give rise to psycho-emotional problems in adolescence.
Girls will begin to think that only by becoming similar to the “standard” can they become happy and loved.
At all times, caring parents understood that the main task of education was to instill moral values in a child, to raise an inner core. It is important to identify life guidelines, explain how to act in different situations, where to go. Then, in the future, the child will be able to resist the destructive impulses and go on a constructive path.
To do this, adults tried to protect the baby from the negative impact, watched what spiritual food he receives. Moreover, today the toy draws the child into the vast world of related products – cartoons, computer games, magazines. This is a whole industry.
But parents often have no time to check what game they bought for their daughter, although such carelessness can do a disservice.
“Recently, a girl was brought to my reception. Baby 7 years old, owns a whole collection of modern dolls, beauties. She herself wants to be a princess, buy a pink car, marry a prince and live in a castle.
It would seem nothing special. Her parents also thought so; they did not bother; they laughed at the coquettish grimaces of their daughter, at her love for absurd outfits, manicure, and children’s discos.
Until my daughter went to school, where she had a love with a classmate, with whom she kissed at recess. It turned out only at the parent meeting. It turned out that one of the computer games is dedicated to kisses: the heroine doll must catch the maximum number of times she kisses her boyfriend within a certain time, ”says Irina Medvedeva.
The baby was sure that this is how the “real princess” should behave.
Psychologists do not get tired of repeating that such games and toys contribute to the early sexualisation of the child, and have a negative effect on both intellectual and mental development. The girl starts to feel herself too early as a woman, but she never becomes her until the end.
Looks adult, remaining in the depths of his soul vulnerable, vulnerable, lonely child – even at thirty, forty years.
Of course, the games themselves are similar and the dolls cannot distort natural maturation. But if there are constant conflicts in the family or the father has left the family and is not interested in the baby, the mother stays up late at work, the child has lost spiritual contact with the parents.
In such a situation, the girl will feel abandoned and lonely, and such toys and cartoons can be a catalyst for the emergence of difficulties of a psychological order.
That is why it is important for parents to pay attention to the problem of choosing toys for their girls. read good old fairy tales, play “daughter-mothers”, develop an interest in creativity and talk more often, explaining to the child that “the brilliant wrapper of the Barbie world” is not a guarantee of happiness and well-being, but only a parody of real life.