The news of the addition in the family changes a lot in the relationship between a man and a woman, and inevitably in the very intimate side of their life. Pregnancy rarely becomes a stimulus for sexual madness, but instead it allows the spouses to reach a new level of intimacy, tenderness and warmth. For nine months, the attitude towards sex of both partners changes, sometimes more than once, and this is absolutely normal.
At each stage, pregnancy affects the “personal” life of future parents in different ways, and these changes are related to what is happening at this time in the woman’s body.
In the first three months of pregnancy, some women suffer from nausea, weakness, dizziness and other manifestations of toxemia, others because of the increased level of the hormone progesterone all the time tends to sleep; someone always wants to cry. For many expectant mothers, the sexual attraction is reduced at this time.
This partly manifests the genetic protection program of pregnancy (it is not by chance that most animals avoid sexual intercourse during gestation of offspring), and in this sense, the first trimester, the time of the future life, is a crucial period. Yes, and doctors often advise spouses for up to 13 weeks to temper sexual appetite and to take extra care.
Toward the middle of pregnancy, the psychological state and mood of the future mother gradually returns to normal, and apparently the woman becomes more attractive: the forms are rounded, the breast increases, and the tummy is not too striking. It is the II trimester of pregnancy, which lasts from the 16th to the 28th week, is considered the optimal time for sexual life. Hormonal background is stabilized, due to the active flow of blood to the pelvic organs, sexual desire increases, the chest and vagina become more sensitive, vaginal discharge produces more.
The excitement is faster and stronger, the orgasm becomes brighter, and sometimes women generally experience it for the first time during pregnancy. True, there is also a flip side of the medal: because of the increased sensitivity of the genitalia, the usual affection sometimes becomes uncomfortable and even painful for a woman, so it’s better for partners to choose “delicate” options.
The pleasant features of mid-pregnancy persist in the later periods. Nevertheless, with the approach of childbirth in most future parents, intimate life is becoming less and less active. The reason for this is often not physiological, but psychological problems: accumulated fatigue, anxiety, intense preparation for the appearance of the baby.
Because of the weight gained and the large belly, a woman may feel less attractive, and a man may experience stiffness, and sometimes an unconscious fear of harming a child. It is fathers who often become the initiators of giving up sex during this period, and much depends on whether the spouses are able to discuss their feelings, experiment, select new comfortable postures.
Often, future parents feel calmer, abandoning sex in general – especially since abstinence does not bear any harm to health.
If the pregnancy proceeds normally, the sex life does not at all interfere with the future baby. The opinion that a child feels like his parents are making love is nothing more than a prejudice that occurs when mom and dad see an ultrasound of a formed little man and begin to feel shy. In fact, the crumb is reliably protected “from shocks” by a thick muscular wall filled with waters of the fetal bladder and mucous plug that closes the entrance to the cervix.
The little one can feel a rush of blood to the uterus, short-term tension and muscle contraction, but the relaxation that comes after orgasm returns everything to its normal state. Moreover, the intimacy of the parents brings advantages for the unborn child: the blood flow in the pelvic organs improves, and the “hormones of joy” endorphins are produced.
However, is it worth it to have sex while waiting for the baby and how, in the absence of medical restrictions, only the man and the woman decide. You need to be guided solely by your own feelings: regardless of the “interesting position”, lovemaking should not cause discomfort or pain. If they arise, it is necessary to tell the obstetrician-gynecologist about this.
Discomfort during or after sex can signal problems that can affect pregnancy (for example, indicate placenta previa).
Situations in which future parents have to postpone sex are not at all uncommon: at least for a time, most of the expectant mothers receive this prohibition. Obstetricians are afraid of two main problems: termination of pregnancy (in the later periods – premature birth) or infection of the baby.
Only the doctor can answer the question whether this risk exists for each particular couple, so do not hesitate to voice “personal” questions and talk in detail about all the health problems that the spouses have or had.
In what cases is sex contraindicated in any waiting period?
- There is a risk of abortion (whatever the reason);
- the placenta is too close to the cervix (presentation of the chorion or placenta, low placentation) – in this case, there is a high risk of trauma and bleeding;
- a future mother or her husband has sexually transmitted infections (chlamydia, ureaplasmosis, etc.) or inflammatory diseases of the urogenital area, including chronic – colpitis (for women), prostatitis, balanitis – inflammation of the foreskin (for men), cystitis urethritis (for both sexes);
- the woman has any non-pregnancy related illness (eg, hypertension, vegetative dystonia) in which intimacy can lead to high blood pressure and poor health.
Whether sex can hurt pregnancy, doctors always evaluate by a combination of facts: not only the current state of the woman, but also her “history” – anamnesis. For example, usually a small increase in the tone of the uterus is not a contraindication for sex life.
But if a woman has already had a miscarriage or a pregnancy has occurred after a long period of infertility, in the same situation, doctors would recommend abstaining.
Another question that arises in future parents: is it possible to replace sexual intercourse with other forms of intimacy when banning sex? The answer again depends on the circumstances. For example, if doctors advise you not to make love because of the low location of the placenta, which can be touched during intercourse, the ban will not apply to affection or oral sex.
When the expectant mother is better to avoid excitement and blood flow to the uterus (for example, due to increased muscle tone), any manifestations of sexual life are excluded completely. In addition, alternative forms of intimacy also carry a certain risk.
So, cunnilingus can pose a threat to a woman and a future baby, if the partner is a carrier of herpes type I (in other words, he often has a cold on his lips). And anal sex increases the risk of hemorrhoids and perineal injury.
Because of pregnancy, not only a woman becomes vulnerable, but also her partner. Future mothers especially often face exacerbations of candidiasis and bacterial vaginosis, which means that the infection can go to a man.
In order not to risk the health of the father (and at the same time to prevent the migration of the infection “in a circle” – from wife to husband and back), spouses should exclude sex life during treatment, and then use a condom until the end of pregnancy.
Doctors do not get tired to remind future parents about how important it is to control their intimate health, without disregarding even “trifling” discomfort, itching or discharge. Of course, it is best to deal with all the problems before conception – and both women and men. Treatment of urogenital problems during pregnancy requires the use of drugs that may not be safe for the baby.
It is not by chance that women receive a referral to diagnose sexually transmitted infections when registering for pregnancy, and it is not worth delaying the analysis even if the prospective parents have no complaints.