The baby in the moment of anxiety easily found comfort and response from mom and dad, who took it on their hands, gently kissed it and held it to themselves. Therefore, a feeling of comfort, warmth, tenderness in a baby is directly related to a sense of protection and security.
And the favorite toy, most often soft and warm, replenishes these sensations at the moment when the mother is busy, and the need for a sense of security is so strong.
For a child, a toy is a very real image, an animated object that is able to listen, sympathize with and experience all difficulties with the baby. Having chosen a teddy friend for himself, the child does not part with him for a minute: he takes him for a walk, to kindergarten, sits with him at the table and sleeps in bed, pities him and scolds, spends with him many intimate conversations, sharing his joys and experiences.
The role of a favorite toy is very great in the child’s attitude, especially in those moments when the baby needs help or protection.
With a soft companion, the crumb goes to bed more quickly, sits down at the table more willingly, dresses more likely, feels more confident in unfamiliar surroundings. He is an indispensable companion and invaluable support during a visit to the doctor, weaning, schooling in a separate bed or meeting a new nanny.
A particularly difficult period may be getting used to kindergarten or staying in a hospital. The kid finds himself in an unfamiliar room, surrounded by strange smells and unknown people, and then a soft friend becomes the personification of a familiar and safe world that smells like home, inspiring a feeling of warmth and comfort.
A child experiencing anxiety or discomfort, with questions to the beloved bear, and he himself answers them. He is absolutely sure that the teddy bear shares all his experiences: he is also afraid of the crocodile living under the bed, and is just as angry if mom makes him eat porridge instead of applesauce.
Not the baby is afraid, but the bear, and now the child gives recommendations to the teddy friend, provides support and protection, lives with him all the complexities of life, thereby smoothing out his own worries. The kid takes his life situation into the game and finds a way out of it. Scarce is still clumsy and does not know much.
But the faithful pet is even more helpless, it needs care. The baby feeds, washes the toy, carries it in a stroller and puts it to bed.
This compensates for the lack of attention from adults, and caring for a friend creates a sense of need and independence.
And at the same time, the child learns to build relationships, to reason and think, to be a good friend and to live in general among the big world of people. If your baby has affection for one toy, take it seriously and do not interfere with this friendship.
And if the only and beloved toy is not there, help the little one to find such a friend, because with skillful use, a soft comrade will bring you a lot of benefits.
In all the huge toy company, the favorite toy is the greatest authority, whose opinion is very important for the baby. She can become not only an excellent negotiator during disputes with a baby (for example, brushing her teeth or not, eating or sleeping, dressing for a walk), but also a wonderful teacher and assistant in instilling the necessary self-service skills and etiquette rules:
“Vanya, the dog Elizar is very tired, let’s speak quietly, go put him in your cot and lie down with him for a while until he falls asleep.”
“The little hare said that he was a little fat. Now he intends to do a small gymnastics every morning and is going to invite you for a workout!
See how the hare does it, and repeat after it. ”
So you can resort to using toys, when you need to warn the whims, until the problem turned into a dispute. You can ask a teddy friend for advice or get his opinion. But, using your favorite toy, do not abuse it: you must remember whose faithful comrade it is.
If he re-reads the kid all the time, indulging in all of you, then very soon in the eyes of the kid his authority will fall, and he will simply cease to be a favorite toy, reliable and loyal companion.
A faithful teddy friend can become an assistant in learning how to count, in acquaintance with color or size, it is much more fun to learn everything new, because learning through a fun teamwork is more attractive than ordinary tedious activities: “I, Potap, order my friend Nikita all plush toys line up in a row! According to growth, as it should be! Forward!
Nale-e-in! At one, two, three count!
And now we will be divided into equal teams … “.
It is difficult to say on what principle kids choose their favorite toy: a bear with a charming face, a doll with a bright appearance, or a monkey, which is completely unattractive at first glance, can become a constant companion. But there are common signs:
1) Dimensions. Too large toys are difficult to manipulate, it is impossible to take for a walk, put with you on the bed and cuddle. Too small toys are lost all the time, it is also difficult to manipulate them with tiny and naughty hands.
The most optimal size is about a third of the child’s height (25–35 cm). But often very small toys become best friends.
2) Pose. It is desirable that the toy does not have a fixed posture, the arms and legs move freely. A toy with which you can beat any plot, give the necessary position (plant, put, dress, treat, swaddle) – this is the best option.
3) Image. The image of the toy should be clear to the kid: red-green hares, winged piglets and seven-eyed aliens are unlikely to be able to tie a child to them for a long time. It is desirable that this was not a musical toy with a built-in set of phrases, which limits the plot of the game and quickly becomes boring.
The baby should speak for the doll, the toy can talk in her mother’s or father’s voice, she’s not a robot. Real living toys are wonderful companions, you just need to turn on the fantasy.
4) Character. Your favorite toy should be easy to guess the character:
- a doll-lady – she is very educated and neat, loves beautiful clothes and evening tea-drinking;
- the little eyes with sad eyes is very vulnerable and needs protection and care, calm and obedient;
- the jolly buffoon is never sad or discouraged, he can come up with a lot of various games and knows many interesting stories …
Choosing a characteristic toy, an adult only needs to guess what his baby needs most.
If a child is shy, fearful and unsure of himself, he needs a friend who is more vulnerable, who needs protection, encouraging the child to win over his own fears. Or, on the contrary, it can be attracted by some cute lion cub with a strong and resilient character, which will add confidence to the child, replenishing what the crumb lacks.
A painful kid needs a cheerful and hearty friend, and a too energetic friend needs a phlegmatic and balanced comrade who loves order in everything.
Losing your favorite toy is a real problem for parents and a huge upset for a baby. After all, he lost not just a toy, but his beloved friend, a living creature, the “island of stability,” which was always near.
The first advice you need to give parents in this situation – keep calm, but do not remain indifferent to what happened.
Do not blame the kid for absent-mindedness or forgetfulness, because of which the thing dear to the heart was lost. You only exacerbate the problem, adding to the feelings of the child and guilt.
Do not promise your child that there is a loss, but try to make every effort to find. Go back along the traversed route, contact your parents at the playground where you played, to the janitor who cleans the territory you need.
Place in the area ads for finding your favorite toys. If it is lost in the store, contact your administrator. Lost items can also be found in the lost and found office, if it was left in transport.
If, however, the efforts were not crowned with success, try to comfort the child, share his experiences with him. Convince the baby not to lose hope, and try to find a similar toy through the Internet.
If you managed to find the same one, but compared to the previous one, it is too new, put it in a washing machine, rinse with an air conditioner and find a friend who happened to be in the laundry with the child. Of course, someone will say that this is a hoax and that the child must learn to cope with the losses that he will necessarily have in adult life. But what a childhood without a fairy tale, without faith in a miracle, without hope!
After all, we tell our kids stories about Santa Claus, about grumbling gnomes who do not like scattered toys, talking on behalf of teddy mice and hedgehogs? It is very sad if losses occur that cannot be repaid, but a happy ending is something that must necessarily occur in life.
Especially for those who do not remain indifferent.