A sense of fear is known to all. Few people can boast that in childhood there was nothing to fear.
The fact that the kids are experiencing such experiences is absolutely normal. Moreover, many experts believe that the absence of fears may indicate a delay in the child’s mental development.
After all, they are closely related to the development of imagination, the ability to fantasize, and therefore are a component of the intellect.
Not every fear is bad: it helps to avoid dangers. Caution is useful – it is the basis of the instinct of self-preservation. After all, if you are afraid to drown, you will not swim to the depth, but when crossing the road, be sure to make sure that there are no cars nearby.
In the process of development, some fears and fears will disappear, and they will be replaced by others: the crumb will overcome them as they receive information about the world around it. And now, while he is very small, his world is significantly different from the world of adults, and the baby may be afraid of the most unexpected things in our opinion that may seem ridiculous.
Do not take childish feelings lightly.
In infancy, fears are primarily associated with harsh sounds, flashes of light, strangers, phenomena and a feeling of loneliness. Such fears are mainly associated with instincts and are called protective. The baby is still so small and inexperienced!
He may be frightened by a leaf falling from a tree, an opening umbrella or noise in the stairwell. At the same time, he does not notice what can actually cause harm. The karapuz does not realize that if he pulls over the edge of the tablecloth, he can knock hot tea over himself, and if he is leaning over the railing on the slide, he can fall.
The task of the parents is to explain to the little researcher which situations are dangerous and which one should not be afraid of, and set a personal example of confidence and calm.
Newborn baby Imagine that you have come to another planet, where everything is unusual and unfamiliar. Harsh sounds, bright light, cold and uncomfortable.
Around the huge unfamiliar creatures. I want to go home – but this is impossible … Something like a newborn baby feels scared and cries loudly. This is an instinct.
The same instinct makes the baby start and vskidyvat handles with a sharp sound and blink in bright light. The baby needs the presence of the mother, he is very helpless, and only she can soothe the baby, as the newborn perceives himself and his mother as one. If she is not around when he wakes up, he becomes frightened and starts crying.
It is enough to take the little one in your arms, press it to yourself, attach it to your chest – and the alarm will pass, he will hear the familiar voice, feel the warmth of her mother’s body, her smell and feel safe.
The first months. Scarce is afraid of leaving mom. He does not understand that mom is a separate person. When she leaves, the child seems to lack part of him.
It’s like walking along the edge of a high bridge that doesn’t have a railing: the sense of security immediately disappears. Experts recommend not to neglect the need of your child for hugs, caress, physical contacts.
Regardless of why the baby burst into tears, do not adopt his emotions, be friendly and calm.
Half a year. At first, the baby smiles at everyone who leans over his bed. But in 6−9 months there is a fear of strangers.
The kid starts to shout loudly, as soon as someone else’s hands reach out to him. He may be afraid, even sitting in his mother’s arms. The child unmistakably distinguishes mom among other people.
Any other person who wants to take the baby in his arms causes mistrust and wariness. If the pussy does not want to go to the arms of his grandmother who came to visit him or pulls the handles in your direction with a cry when the father’s colleague sits down next to his carriage, do not show your displeasure with such behavior, this is not a whim. Do not force the child to show courage, do not focus attention on his reaction, continue to communicate peacefully.
By one and a half years, fear of others will pass.
Year At this age, the baby is already in full acquaintance with the outside world. However, the fear of unfamiliar sounds persists. The sounds of the construction site, the siren of the fire engine, the signal of the car, the roar of the airplane flying by – the baby does not see the source of the noise, and if these sounds are unfamiliar to him, they can frighten him greatly.
In this case, hurry to the baby, hug him and explain what kind of sound. Don’t make fun of him – he needs your support.
By 2–3 years, the number of auditory fears is significantly reduced, most of the surrounding sounds become familiar and recognizable. But the likelihood that the child may scare some noise or rumble, remains.
You shudder when the door slammed shut from a draft. At such moments, it is enough just to be near and calm the frightened child.
Visual fears also appear at this age. The imagination of the child is very vivid, and he does not separate the real world from the imaginary. Vivid images that appear in his head, live their own lives and can be dangerous.
Kids start to be afraid of big objects, especially if they suddenly start moving. This may be, for example, a tall plant, swung by the wind, or fluttered from a raven’s branch.
And in this case, the main advice will be: always be there, be prepared to calm the child and explain to him that this is a leaf of a tree, a bird, the shadow of a person and they do not pose a threat.
One and half year . At this age, kids have already mastered the skills of non-verbal communication. They recognize emotions, can catch the mood of loved ones, learn to understand the signals emanating from other people.
For the first time, closer to two years, the child sees clowns and actors with makeup on his face and is often very afraid of them. At this age, the parents begin to bring the kids “into the light” (at matinees, puppet shows), invite animators for the first birthday or Father Frost – for the first New Year.
And he is afraid of them. This is normal: he needs to see the eyes and the real face of a person in order to understand whether he can be trusted.
Fancy costumes and make-up interfere with this, and excessive expression, loud laughter and sweeping movements of the hands, typical of a cheerful clown, scare. The kid suspects something wrong and quite logical defends himself, showing anxiety. No need to insist and say: “Look, this is a good clown” – so you only increase the suspicion of the child.
If your baby saw Santa Claus or an actor in make-up and was frightened, watch him from afar, tell the child about this fantastic hero, explain that the clowns are very kind and funny. If you organized a home holiday where animators were invited, prepare your baby in advance for this meeting. If he wants to, dress him up in a bright suit, draw him rosy cheeks, put on a clown spout: let him understand that anyone can become a clown.
Look at the pictures, buy a doll, such as Parsley, and play with him small performances.
Many children in the period of development of hygiene skills are afraid of flushing water in the toilet. Or funnel, which is created in the bathroom when the water goes. Of course, this mechanism is quite noisy.
But it’s not only that. Your baby already understands that water takes the contents of his pot into the unknown.
And this content is part of it. And if we begin to flush the bathroom, in which the baby is still sitting, he jumps up and begs to pull him out. This comes from the fear that he, too, may disappear with the water.
At this age, the child can not yet relate the size of the drain hole with the size of his own body, but he has a self-preservation instinct! If your baby is also afraid of the noise of the discharge water and the drain hole, do not rush to press the lever in his presence.
Let him get used to this noise at a safe distance. Before you pull the stopper out of the bath, take the baby in your arms.
Sometimes it becomes easier for children if, before pressing the lever, they wave goodbye to the content that floats into the unknown.
Fear of darkness is one of the most common fears among younger preschool children. As soon as mom leaves the bedroom, fancy shadows come to life everywhere. And under the bed a terrible monster wakes up, it is waiting for the baby to lower its legs in order to grab it and drag it away.
Toddlers do not want to fall asleep alone, they are really very scary and lonely. Never make a room from the bedroom for punishment, and also do not scatter before bedtime about the behavior on the playground or uncleaned toys. Should not upset and oppress the baby before you stay in the bedroom.
Put a large easy chair in the children’s room. The parental chair in the nursery is an attribute that inspires peace, saves from fears, mom or dad always sit in it to talk to the kid about how he spent his day, answer all his questions or read him a fairy tale before going to bed.
Friendly evening conversations are the best way to put your baby on the bed and save him from possible anxieties that prevent him from falling asleep. If your baby is afraid of the dark, give him a small flashlight so that he can at any time illuminate a suspicious corner.
Buy a small night light, hang flashing Christmas lights.
Many fears arise in babies unexpectedly, for a short time and completely disappear without any consequences. But if you ignore children’s anxieties, suppress them and consider them frivolous, they can turn into a real neurosis. Some fears arise due to age characteristics, and some – due to the unfavorable atmosphere in the family (quarrels, excessive severity, lack of emotional contact with the child).
Sometimes the parents themselves inspire children with anxiety by projecting their own fears on them: “Do not approach the dog, bite”, “Do not step on the hatch, it will open and you will fall”. Any mother’s anxiety is transmitted to the baby.
If adults begin to persistently and too emotionally indicate to the child that there is a danger, they will involuntarily infect him with fear. Phrases like “You will behave this way, I will give it to that uncle”, “If you don’t eat, you go to the hospital, you will be given injections there” should not be used at all when dealing with a child.
It is worth mentioning that fear can occur in a child even after an unpleasant, traumatic experience. For example, “The dentist hurt me,” “The dog barked at me loudly,” “The water in the bathroom scalded my pen.”
So there is a fear towards doctors, dogs, bathing in the bathroom.
Watch the child, and if the age of the baby allows, ask him why he is so afraid. Dealing with fears is very important. After all, the one who could not overcome them in his childhood, becoming a parent, is likely to pass on his fears and concerns to the child.
If you still need help, you will have to start not with the child, but with yourself. First: he must know that he is loved and always supported and understood. Build trust with your baby.
Love the baby as it is, with all its desires and feelings. Read good tales, listen to pleasant music. Arrange joint walks, outdoor games.
Second: he must believe in himself. First of all, work to strengthen the baby’s confidence in yourself – this is the foundation.
Praise, be proud of the slightest achievements, cheer and be near. Third: do not pose a threat yourself.
Smaller read the notation, do not judge and do not punish. Fourth: no phobias.
Fight your own fears, do not show excessive anxiety and anxiety.
Help your child get more information about what surrounds him, what sounds he hears, what phenomena he observes: about birds, about trains and airplanes, about thunder, wind and animals he meets in the city and in the village. Learn to be cautious, be watchful, not fear.
Let him learn to understand what is hot, sharp, fragile.
Try to protect the child from what can enrich his sensitive imagination with scary and threatening images. Carefully choose the books, make sure that the illustrations in them are not threatening, no animals with grins and scary, realistic depicted witches and monsters. The same can be said about toys: they all must be peaceful and safe.
It is desirable that the acquaintance of the baby with the TV happened as late as possible. If you include cartoons or educational programs for your child, strictly monitor their quality and emotional content, but rather watch them together.
And finally, try to develop a psychological defense against anxiety, using the object itself, which inspires fear in the child. The kid is afraid of working vacuum cleaner?
Buy him a toy – let him clean up his room. Is he afraid of Baba Yaga?
Draw it on paper with the baby, and then add a funny mustache, a pair of lop-eared ears and talk in her voice about her problems: maybe the baby will feel sorry for her – or together laugh at the resulting funny physiognomy. Afraid of shots?
Get a set of doctor – let him do vaccinations to all family members.
The child conquers their fears in the game. Combine these games with daily rituals.
For example, playing hide and seek. We hide our face behind our hands or behind a napkin while changing diapers.
The child laughs and thus begins to realize that what is hidden does not necessarily disappear.
If the baby’s fear has already developed, apply it step by step. For example, when a baby is afraid to bathe in the bathroom, start with fun splashing and playing in the pelvis. Then, take a small amount of water into the bath and climb into it with the baby.
Maybe he will help you and will wash your mother’s head as an adult, or he can redeem her beloved bear. Next time the baby will prepare everything for bathing his favorite toy, pick up some water, add foam.
Agree: first, the baby will wash the doll’s head, and then mom will wash his head.