The closer the age of the baby is to one and a half years, the more often the surprised parents become witnesses of the outrageous behavior of their children. Discouragement and confusion – the first reaction of adults, followed by a dumb question: where is the mistake, why did the child get out of control? Yes, the three-year-old crisis is still far away, but the first bells, such as hysterics, disobedience and whims, begin in the overwhelming number of children at the very beginning of the second year of life.
This is due to age, and here you need to understand that the baby is not out of control, but becomes more independent. And, since this process is accompanied by difficulties, failures, uncertainty and fears, breakdowns of hysteria and tears are inevitable.
At this age, babies begin to understand the emotions and moods of other people, begin to use the first words and phrases to achieve their goals. At this stage, children learn to understand sign language and facial expressions, and also strengthen the experience of non-verbal communication.
In the future, the skills learned at this age (sense recognition) will be superimposed on the baby’s speech. But for the time being, many factors prevent the crumbs from always getting what they want and having a rich dialogue with the outside world. The lack of speech skills does not allow the child to express his desires and needs with words, which is very hard tolerated by the tot.
Hence the whims and disobedience. How to make life easier for both children and parents in each specific situation?
The second year of life is characterized by the first manifestations of children’s negativism and stubbornness.
Possible reasons. Kids at this age are very impulsive and focused on themselves, it is very important for them to show their independence. In addition, they are infinitely curious about everything around them.
The child is going through an important period of development – he becomes independent. To this day, he lived as a continuation of his parents, most of his mother. Permanent “no” is not a provocation, the child builds a distance in order to feel like a separate person.
Yesterday, he could not say “I.” And now to pronounce this word, he needs to learn to make decisions himself, so “I want it” and “I will not let it” cannot be avoided.
It is difficult to become independent if all manifestations of this independence are constantly stopped. Think about how often the baby hears from you “no, you can not.”
At this age, children adopt from their parents everything they see and hear.
What to do? Try to pronounce the word “no” less often. For example, to paraphrase: “No, we will not go to the site” on: “Well, just let’s go to the site tomorrow.”
Say “no” only in specific cases when it is really necessary. So many tense moments can be warned. When the crumbs desire is harmless, satisfy him.
Does the kid want to be considered? Let him decide which marker to draw, which game to play and which book to read before going to bed. Does he need more freedom?
Give him a chance, providing a maximum safe place for research activities. Instead of the phrase “Get dressed, let’s go for a walk” (which is easy to answer “no”), try to say: “I was going to go for a walk, but what are you going to do?” The kid refuses to go to bed?
Inform: “I’ll go lie down a bit, something I’m tired. And you, if you want, you can quietly play alongside or sit on the chair. ”
For many parents, the issue of daytime sleep turns out to be a very serious problem. However, daytime sleep is still necessary.
What to do if the child wakes up too quickly, or refuses to go to bed at all, or goes to bedtime sleep at the wrong time.
Possible reasons. Strangely enough, the most common reason that the baby hardly fits to sleep during the day, as, indeed, in the evening, is overexcitation.
Civilization leaves its mark on the lives of kids. A child’s biological clock strongly conflicts with the pace of the life around it. Too much extra information gets a modern baby, from my father’s computer or home TV.
It is also worth considering that by this age parents often begin to attend various early development centers with babies. Too tight schedule can do a disservice, and it will be extremely difficult for a child to reorganize to sleep.
Laying problems can have a variety of reasons. Can affect the temperament of the child, and the atmosphere in the family, and habits, and the health of the baby.
Food also matters (there should not be a lot of sugar in a diet), convenience of a bed and temperature in a bedroom of the kid.
What to do? Continue to follow a specific styling procedure, for example: bathing, putting on pajamas and reading a book before bedtime.
Hang the blind curtains in the child’s bedroom so you can darken the room while you sleep. Set yourself an alarm for 1.5 hours before dinner to stop in advance all active games, trips to guests and shops, turn off the TV, ventilate the bedroom and tune in to a new, more relaxed rhythm.
Tell your child that he is waiting for lunch, bathing (only if it soothes the baby, and not vice versa) and a short lunch break. Try to abandon motion sickness, as the baby gets used to it very quickly and the mother becomes a hostage to this procedure. It is better to lie down next to the baby or sit around him, stroking his back.
Do not rush to shift the sleeping child in the crib. First make sure that the baby is in a deep sleep phase.
Otherwise, at the moment of shifting, the baby will wake up, and it will be necessary to repeat everything all over again – it is better to wait the extra 10 minutes and make sure that the child is fast asleep. If the baby’s fists are tightly compressed, the eyes under the eyelids are still moving, mimicry and grimaces appear periodically, then the baby’s sleep is still shallow.
There is not a single child who would not go into hysterics at least once. Kids bite, throw objects and fight.
Outbursts of anger, torrents of tears, inconsolable sadness and sudden mood swings – the strong emotions of children put us off balance.
Possible reasons. At this age, the child’s vocabulary is limited and he cannot express his displeasure with words. Therefore, the baby starts screaming, fighting; he may get angry or cry bitterly when something goes wrong with him or he cannot be understood.
Thus, he is trying to convey to you his irritation. If the child managed to achieve his own with the help of some unsightly behavior, he will improve in him, resorting to this method more and more often.
But we must remember that there are moods caused by hunger, illness, fatigue, anxiety, lack of sleep, overexcitement. In such cases, you need to eliminate the cause of children’s tears (feed, comfort, put to bed).
It is worth considering the fact that small children are extremely impulsive and emotionally unstable. Emotions of a small child are like the weather: if you don’t like her, you have to wait – and she will change.
Same thing with the baby. The baby experiences a huge amount of emotions that quickly replace each other.
It is connected with new discoveries, small victories and very often with failures and difficulties on the way to the knowledge of the world. However, there are moods just like emotional pressure on an adult.
Crying, screaming and rolling on the floor can be an attempt to get a parent to buy a toy or arrange it so that he is not taken home from the playground.
What to do? The most important weapon in the fight against tantrums is calm and patience. Attempts to call a child to reason will lead nowhere, since the baby is too excited.
Your anger and shouts only scare the crumbs, and he will start more. Try to keep calm.
All actions of the baby need to respond with understanding, but during the whims do not make him any concessions. And when the child calms down and calm down, try not to scold and not shame the baby, just express the hope that he will never repeat his behavior again, and assure him that the method of manipulation chosen by him is unproductive. If a child goes over the edge and hits you, starts throwing things, or tries to bite her sister, it’s time to step in and stop this behavior.
Put him in the playpen and leave one for a couple of minutes. Two minutes later, ask if he calmed down and wants to return to his game.
If he is still hysterical, stay close, but ignore the baby until he finally calms down.
Try to distract the child, switch his attention. A small child will be intrigued if you quietly sit on the floor, take out his toys and start playing with enthusiasm, from time to time inviting him to join.
Often, babies completely cease to control themselves. Therefore, simple but effective techniques may be useful: you can wrap the baby in a blanket and go out onto the balcony with him or bring it to the open window so that the crumb can take a sip of fresh air.
Some children are helped by a contrast or cool washing of the face and neck, others by a warm shower. When the child calms down, caress him and sit with him as much as he needs.
The baby is growing, and parents expect that over time he will learn to do without them, but this does not happen.
Possible reasons. The child is most afraid of separation from loved ones, often feels abandoned, lonely and therefore very scared.
He has no sense of time and space. Waiting for him is long and painful. The only thing that he feels is that he is lonely and can be forever.
Up to two, and in some cases up to three years, babies are still very sticky. Be indulgent.
It’s just an expression of childish affection for you. Dependent position is still more attractive for the crumbs than freedom and independence.
The pressure on the baby, irritation about his obsessive control, the sudden disappearance of the mother will only frighten the child, increase his anxiety and only increase the stickiness of the child.
What to do? If the baby is afraid to part with you even for a minute, allow him some time to be your “tail”, do not scold him. When you are in the bathroom or in the toilet, talk to him Play hide and seek with him.
Before moving away from the child, try to interest him with something, pay attention to other adults in the child, keep calm and patience. Create the appearance of your absence: leaving the crumbs in the care of relatives, go to another room.
Do not leave such attempts: over time, the baby will realize that the mother is near and at any time he can be convinced of this. When a child learns to be alone with a grandmother or dad for a while, allow yourself some short absences, for example, go to the store for bread.
Inform: “I will be back very soon.” You must help him understand that nothing terrible is happening.
First of all, your calmness will help your baby. Remember, this period will not last long.
Baby is torn between attachment and independence. But very soon this split will pass and a new period will come – “I myself!”.
The child always ate well. But now you are faced with constant whims during meals. Then he refuses his favorite oatmeal and eats only pasta.
This requires that the apple be sure to be cut into squares, not triangles. And even completely refuses everything that is offered to him.
Possible reasons. For your child, such whims while eating are connected more with the fact that he wants to attract as much attention as possible than with the fact that he does not like the food. It is quite possible that he is just not hungry or eats very little.
The need for food in all children is different, moreover, the children’s appetite depends on the intensity of growth. For example, if a child’s mom and dad are not tall, their child will eat less than the baby whose parents are very tall. Also, the appetite of children is directly proportional to the energy spent during the day.
Quite often, the problem of selective appetite and refusal to eat lies in the constant snacks between meals.
What to do? If your child is healthy, but refuses to eat, then the first helpers in this can be long walks in the fresh air. Never make the crumbs eat by force (eat up everything to the end).
Ban yourself all sorts of notations and quittings during meals so that the child does not form a strong negative attitude towards the procedure of eating. Do not demand excessive purity from your child, do not blame slowness and clumsiness – consider his age, do not discuss his appetite with a child: reminding him about it, you only root the problem. If the child began to throw food, immediately stop the meal.
Often the problem of selectivity in food in a child is due to the incorrect attitude of parents to children’s whims. For example, if the baby refuses the proposed soup, the wisest decision would be to let the child feed his appetite.
An hour later, you can again offer him the same soup. When planning a menu for a baby, consider the peculiarities of its taste.
It is possible that the child does not like one or two products and categorically refuses them: take a break and after two or three weeks, offer again. Do not use bribery in order for the child to eat “even a spoon,” very soon it will stop working, and the baby will develop bad habits with which it will be difficult to fight.
Do not put a sleepy child at the table (immediately after waking up) or, conversely, an excited child (immediately after active games).
The child first begins to communicate with peers. And this is a complex science. And the first lesson in this communication is the ability to share.
The kid does not give anyone his toys and tries to drag off strangers.
Possible reasons. At the beginning of the second year of life, the babies still play for a long time on their own, occasionally penetrating the desire to communicate with the nearby tot. The concept of “someone else’s toy” is unfamiliar to the child, but what is “mine” is understandable.
By about 15 months, children begin to develop a sense of possessiveness. When someone encroaches on their thing, they begin to feel as if they are losing a piece of themselves, therefore, encroachment on their favorite toys is stopped uncompromisingly.
Conflicts are inevitable, as babies are just learning to accept the point of view of another person. My desires are first of all, but sometimes, of course, I want to take a toy from “that guy”, and for this you need to learn to get in touch.
What to do? The ability to share with someone is formed in a child only by 4 years.
Introduce karapuz with the rules of the order, using a simple game “my turn – your turn”. Give him one berry and say: “Your turn”, take the next berry yourself and say: “My turn”.
Do not take toys that are especially dear to your child to the playground. Use collective toys more often. If there is a quarrel with another baby, try not to intervene immediately.
If quarrels end with truces, this is further proof that the relationship is balanced and there is no one who dominates among the playing kids. If nothing helps and the baby continues to demand someone else’s toy, try to switch his attention to another activity or keep in stock what will help to distract at a critical moment.
Set a good example, often share something in front of the child with the household, and you can playfully make the crumbs fun. And, of course, respect your child.
He is still learning to take into account other people’s feelings. And he is unlikely to succeed if his own feelings are neglected. Do not force him to share a toy, if he is categorically against it, do not call it “the greedy one”.
Try to negotiate, offer an exchange that will suit the crumb. Do not embarrass a child in the presence of others with phrases like “What a clumsy you are, look, Olin the snowman broke because of you”, “What a slut you are!
Well, now Petin Bunny has become quite dirty! ”Thus, parents humiliate their child and teach him a lesson that it is quite acceptable to ignore other people’s feelings.