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No one is perfect: how to defeat your flaws and raise self-esteem

No one is perfect: how to defeat your flaws and raise self-esteem

The mockery of classmates about a slightly long nose, comments about a few extra pounds, gazes towards the chest, which developed faster than their peers, often lay an imprint on our perception of ourselves. And if we lack self-confidence, often these minor flaws develop into complexes.

A person begins to focus on his shortcoming (with whom he used to get along quite well) and to associate many of the failures with him. He believes that because of thick ankles or improper bite, they do not like him, and therefore he ceases to love himself.

But the most serious complexes that provoke the difficulty of self-love are associated with a lack of parental love.

Psychologists are unanimous in the opinion that, in most cases, the notorious adult was a child who was not loved enough. Maybe because the parents themselves underestimated themselves. It is difficult to find dignity in your child when you do not love yourself.

A child who was not truly beautiful for his parents, was not a source of happiness, will feel “unloved” in society. He will cling to some kind of physical disability, because it is much less painful to complain about his appearance than about his history. And then – a vicious circle.

For a person who does not love himself, the slightest flaw takes on enormous significance. At its core, the complex is always associated with self-love, namely, with the high value that we attach to ourselves.

It has nothing to do with who we really are. Self-esteem changes our objective image.

And our idea of ​​ourselves is often far from reality.

According to Sigmund Freud, the ancestor of psychoanalysis, our attitude to our image is directly related to the “ideal I”. This is the unconscious part of us that we want to be.

Depending on this ideal, we love ourselves. And the higher it is, the harder it is for us to be pleased with ourselves.

And just kind and quivering relationships in the family allow us to bring our real image to the “ideal”. It is the love of the environment that instills in us the love of self and allows us to accept our shortcomings without self-deprecation. According to psychologists, people who are characterized by a strong love for themselves, have received unconditional parental love, not associated with good behavior and successful schooling.

And above all, parents always valued their individuality and did not compare with older children.

Man is a social being. To fully live, he needs the company of other people.

However, this environment does not always favorably affect our self-esteem, constantly imposing our standards on us. For example, in the modern world there is a real obsession with appearance, which is accompanied by a whole string of complexes. And not the last role in their creation is played by the world of fashion and the media industry.

From blue screens and glossy pages, we are constantly promoting harmony as the main sign of beauty and success. Psychologists along with nutritionists are sounding the alarm.

Khudoba became the standard of health and self-control. From now on, slender is always on top – it is a locomotive capable of controlling your emotions and forming an elite society of its kind.

The full one is weak, lazy and inactive. Thus, stereotypes and labels are imposed on us.

The first is attributed a huge amount of positive qualities, while the second becomes a victim of prejudice. In this case, it is difficult to love yourself, even with just a couple extra pounds.

And if there are not two, but, say, five, then “media critics” will quickly call us to order.

Some, and not having a special surplus, tend to constantly lose weight. It becomes a real obsession. They think that being slimmer they will become more beautiful (and this is not always the case) and above all happier (which is unlikely).

First, they get instant satisfaction by challenging themselves – to get rid of 3 kg. Then comes disappointment, as they are unhappy with the result. As a result, these “unfortunate” can not stop.

They continue to starve themselves with diets and exhaust their workouts in order to constantly “keep in shape”. This vicious practice leads either to a psychologist’s office or to a hospital bed.

Some toys, such as the Barbie doll, which has been serving as a beauty standard for little girls for 50 years, have a detrimental effect on children’s self-esteem from an early age. Having matured, many of them bring themselves to anorexia, wanting to be like a famous beauty.

In order to avoid serious physical and psychological problems, American feminist movements struggle to point out the warning sign on the packaging of the doll. Her goal is to firmly consolidate in the minds of the younger generation the understanding that a real woman can never have such “unearthly forms”, because they are simply incompatible with life (with a growth of 1.77 her proportions 85/46/73!).

If Barbie suddenly came to life, she would have to move on all fours, and she physically could not raise her head.

To get rid of the complexes, psychologists recommend the use of substitution therapy – to compensate for the shortcomings, highlighting their strengths. First try:

As we found out, complexes are a consequence of lack of self-esteem, which has its roots in our childhood. To get rid of this destructive feeling and get out of the vicious circle, try yourself in a new field. Learn the art of painting, pottery or cooking.

Your new successes and man-made masterpieces will help regain self-respect.

Are your complexes poisoning your life? Stop looking at the world through the keyhole. Engage in charity: help orphanages, people with disabilities, shelters for animals.

By providing support to those in need, you will feel useful and begin to be proud of yourself.

You will have to accept the fact that you will never appear on the cover of a fashion magazine. Is it so tragic? After all, this does not prevent you from having a beloved man, true friends, children, interesting work.

Lower the bar. Ask your loved ones what they like most about you and make a list of your merits.

You risk finding out a lot of good things about yourself.

Stop dwelling on some part of your body, and look at yourself as one. Assess your greatest strengths and let them overshadow all imperfections.

Are you used to associate your failures with complexes? Face it.

And you will realize that you failed the driving test, not because of your lop-earedness, but because of the “traffic in the right” that you did not notice.

If you make compliments regarding the appearance, adopt that image that did not go unnoticed. You will immediately feel more confident in clothes that you and others like.

Change your hair, make up regularly, keep your back straight. In this form, you can move mountains.

No one is perfect: how to defeat your flaws and raise self-esteem

To combat the most vital female complexes, we have developed a program that will help you to say goodbye to your “headache” forever and gain self-confidence. Check out our practice tips and go into the summer with your head held high.

“I can’t pick up pants to hide my buttocks. After all, my butt has all the possible disadvantages – it is thick, flabby and sagging. ” (Anna, 34 years old)

Regularly (3-4 times a week) attend dance classes. Choose modern rhythmic dances. For example, Booty Shake (Fitness Shake) is an exotic dance direction, which is based on different types of “shaking”, mostly buttocks.

You strengthen the muscles of the hips and buttocks, as well as gain confidence in their feminine attractiveness. To decide which style is closer to you, start by watching the video tutorials.

Hone skills (and at the same time and have fun with the child) at home, try using video games (Dance Central, Just Dance for the Xbox and Dance Star, Dance on Broadway for the Sony PlayStation).

If you are visiting a fitness club, work out on an elliptical trainer. It combines a treadmill, exercise bike and a stepper. His plus is the possibility of reversing.

This makes it possible to train the gluteus muscles, which are practically not involved in the work on other sports equipment.

Riding a scooter

Enjoying fast driving on asphalt tracks, you will burn more than 500 kcal per hour, significantly reduce the volume of the hips and buttocks. Just do not forget to regularly change the jogging leg, otherwise pump your muscles on one side more than on the other.

Limit fat intake (fatty meats, sausages) and carbohydrates (sweets, pasta, potatoes, bread), which accumulate in the body, are deposited on the buttocks.

Try to lean on protein foods (poultry, low-fat cottage cheese, yogurt). It is a building material for muscles and does not spoil the shape.

Better eat white chicken meat than carbonara pasta!

Write in the list of favorites avocados. Oleic acid contained in it regulates appetite and causes a feeling of satiety.

Unsaturated fatty acids in the composition of the green cream pulp are considered a useful fat.

Try quinoa, a pseudogrow, famous for its high content of vegetable protein, as well as magnesium and phosphorus, essential for healthy muscles and bones.

Remember that the time interval between meals should be 1.5-2 hours. And the amount of food intake – do not exceed 300 or 350 grams.

  • Buy bloomers (aladdins): these ultra-large trousers made of natural fabric (cotton or viscose) are in fashion for more than one season. They skillfully hide extra volumes.
  • Instead of narrow skirts, emphasizing the form, choose flowing dresses.
  • Wear heels, they visually stretch your silhouette.

“I do not have excess weight, but I can’t get rid of a small belly that never disappears. I try to avoid tight dresses and often unbutton the last button on jeans. Soon, my husband (who has an absolutely flat press with cubes) will go to the sea, and I hesitate to go to the beach in a swimsuit … ”. (Alina, 31 years old)

During classes, strengthen the muscles of the back and abdominals. You need to do every day at the same time so that the body gets used to the load and muscle memory is activated.

Optimal training – 3 sets, each for 10 minutes, with a 10-minute pause between them. For an hour you can burn about 800 calories.

Regular workouts (at least 2 times a week) stimulate metabolism and safely (without a serious load on the joints) strengthen each muscle of the body. Particularly active abdominal muscles, which alternately tense and relax while jumping.

Due to the effect of weightlessness, which creates water, even the most difficult exercises are performed very easily and the load is almost not felt.

At home, exercise your abdominal muscles on a daily basis.

Lie on the floor. Hands at shoulder width.

Feet lift and stretch in front of you. This is the starting position.

Breathe out and tighten your legs, bending their knees. Take a short pause and slowly return to the starting position.

Perform 10 approaches.

Limit the use of bread and cereal. Rich in sugars, they are poorly digested and often cause bloating.

Vegetables, by contrast, stimulate digestion due to fiber. But do not lean on cabbage and cauliflower, as well as legumes – they cause fermentation and gas formation.

From protein foods, give preference to fish and seafood. Eat fractional, 5-6 times a day.

Do not drink while eating: water dilutes the gastric juice and makes digestion difficult.

  • Wear loose elongated tops that do not fit and hide the belly.
  • A shirt over trousers or an unbuttoned jacket perfectly conceals the excess in the abdomen.

“Long legs are my main advantage, which I emphasize with the help of mini skirts. Alas, I can not wear them without tights because of cellulite. How to get rid of or disguise the “worst enemy” of my figure in order to feel comfortable in the summer? ”. (Natalia, 28 years old)

During swimming, thanks to the dynamic, rhythmic movements, each muscle is worked out and the body comes to tone. The skin receives a constant massage, improves its appearance.

Swim must be from 30 minutes to 1 hour a day, at least 3 times a week. It is from the 31st minute that the body begins to expend its fat reserves.

It is desirable that the water temperature was not lower than 24, otherwise the fats burned during the training will begin to recover to protect from the cold. Alternate 30 seconds of active swimming with a 15-second rest.

During your run, try to choose paths that run along the slopes and hills: this way you will burn 30% more calories than when running along smooth paths (about 600 kcal per hour).

If you do not get the pleasure of running and do not want to overload your joints, replace it with walking at a pace. Walking along forest paths is safer than on a treadmill: the soil alleviates the impact load on the joints.

This is an ideal physical activity for daily practice.

Your task is to moderately consume carbohydrates, preferring proteins (lean meat, cottage cheese, kefir, eggs, tofu). Keep in mind: the human body is not able to assimilate more than 30g of protein per meal (about 250 g of low-fat cottage cheese).

Organize your diet to eat about 90–100 g of protein per day, but not more than 30 g at a time.

Another fighter for the smoothness and elasticity of our skin is grapefruit. Due to its composition, it is able to influence the secretion of the hormone insulin. When insulin is “in check,” the body is not threatened with uncontrolled bouts of hunger, and it stops making excess fat reserves.

Eat about 200 grams of grapefruit pulp per day.

To get rid of the edematous form of cellulite, reduce salt intake. Drink more water.

By the way, according to some data, if you drink cold water, the body spends additional energy on its “heating” and thus burns 70 kcal for every 2 liters of water.

Try an anti-cellulite vacuum massage. It removes excess fluid from the body and breaks down fats.

And mud or algal wraps speed up the metabolism and increase the elasticity and quality of the skin. At home, practice a hydromassage by changing the jet pressure on the shower head.

Alas, to get rid of cellulite forever is unlikely. After all, in fact, this is not a pathology at all, but a natural deposition of fat according to the female type, which testifies to its hormonal maturity.

But to reduce the manifestation of cellulite, we are quite capable. Apply caffeine-based creams and gels twice a day; To create the greenhouse effect and speed up the process of splitting fat cells, wrap problem areas with cling film.

As masking use avtobronzant.

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