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Mom’s copy or mom’s rival

Mom's copy or mom's rival

You do not know how to react to her game: sometimes it is amusing, but sometimes it becomes annoying. Try to accept her behavior and understand that it is by imitating you that your daughter is trying to grow up, to understand herself and become an independent person.

Have you noticed how her mood changes when someone gives her a compliment, saying that she is beautiful or dressed smartly? Some girls perceive such words as a signal to action and continue the begun preening.

They “decorate” themselves with beads, mother’s lacy underwear, lipstick and all sorts of cosmetic products that they manage to reach. Then they turn for a long time in front of a mirror, admiring themselves from all sides, or suggest that adults admire their “unearthly” beauty.

Other girls in response to attention to their outfits and appearance may be embarrassed, run away and hide. Both of these behaviors mean that the girl is not indifferent to how she looks in the eyes of others.

In addition, she is trying to understand whether they see a future woman in her or not.

Thus, the girl is going through a very important period in her life, gaining rich experience in realizing herself as one of those who belong to a large “tribe” of women. She takes the first tentative steps, trying on the image of a woman, decides: “What is it like to be her?” The girl learns to rejoice at it or to be embarrassed, to be noticed or rejected, to learn to attract attention or avoid it in all possible ways.

And mother becomes for her the brightest, closest, attractive way (although sometimes someone else can become an example, for example, a young grandmother or a nanny).

Playing imaginary objects and actions, for example, “as if” there is a lunch from cubes and or “as if” to go on a Mercedes of stools, appears in children between one and a half to two years. At about the same time, imitation of facial expressions, gestures, and movements of adults is included in the game. The fact is that the imitation game, which usually seems to be one of the simplest, requires a lot of preparation from children.

They need to learn and memorize the smallest details of the behavior of the selected sample, to experience events in the same way as their model does. While playing, that is, acting “as if” and “the same as”, the child essentially moves ahead in his mental and social development. He learns, firstly, to adapt to different rules, restrictions, moods, which he is already able to notice, and secondly, to better understand more and more complex situations.

In the game, the child trains different ways of handling objects and different ways of interacting with people. Of course, the easiest way to lose external attributes (hat, gait, typical words) is to reproduce the deep inner world of adults. However, the form obtained in the game is not empty; it is filled with the content of the adult world that is very significant for the child.

Summer up to 2-3 a child with interest imitates both parents and occasional adults, trying on themselves various gestures, actions, words, without particularly highlighting their belonging to this or that sex. The boy can try to breastfeed the doll, and the girl willingly agrees to march a soldier’s step.

And although from the outside it may seem ridiculous, you should not make this behavior a subject of jokes and ridicule.

Mom's copy or mom's rival

During the third year of life, a little girl or boy begins to realize that they belong to the floor (but this does not mean at all that at the age of 3 years her full understanding occurs). Three-year-old children pay attention to the differences in the behavior of mothers and fathers, to the manifestation of their interest in each other, they are trying in different ways to attract the attention of their parents.

In order to win the recognition and love of one of the parents, the child begins to unconsciously copy the other.

It is obvious that in an imitation game, children try to realize their ideas about masculinity or femininity. “Cowboys” and “soldiers” may become rougher or sharper, and “mothers” and “doctors” – stricter or flirtatious. Therefore, at some point, the behavior of children may seem exaggeratedly caricatured.

Getting to know a new role is a fairly personal process, so many children experience a period of shyness and embarrassment. Because of this, some people prefer to play the imitation game in solitude, in their room, enjoying “their cinema”. But many kids, on the contrary, need spectators, attention and approval of their behavior, appearance.

You can join the game if you have the time and the right mood for it. In any case, you should try to calmly, in an adult way, respond to your daughter’s new outfit, praising the successful findings and correcting the flaws.

This proves that you are quite serious about her new qualities, recognize her femininity and are ready to take part in building the image.

Mom's copy or mom's rival

The reaction of parents to the games and leprosy of children varies. Usually it depends on the personal interpretation of the term “femininity” and the general emotional state. Some mothers like to watch their daughter “paint” her nails, putting on them pieces of cloth instead of varnish.

Others, especially those who prefer jeans or a sporty style of clothing, may accuse the girl of excessive pearling. “In the morning my daughter can spend hours dressing herself. And if you do not find suitable tights for them, then they will throw a real tantrum!

She takes my makeup, hairpins. To solve this problem, I collected for her a separate cosmetic bag with small probes.

As a result, in the morning everyone does their own thing, and I finally manage to calmly get ready for work, ”says one mother.

For many women, the appearance of a small rival in the house causes tension, because the girl manages to take most of her father’s attention, for example, his smiles and compliments. Sometimes a mother can be hurt and offended by a parody of her own behavior, of those unsympathetic features of her character, which in an exaggerated form are manifested in the games and behavior of the child.

But do not forget that the imitative behavior at this age hides only a desire to be closer to mom and an attempt to become as beautiful as she is. Therefore, the reason for my mother’s offense is likely to be hidden in dissatisfaction with herself and her character traits …

Some parents have learned to use the imitation game to talk to children on serious topics. For example, about bashfulness and chastity. “Some time ago, our daughter was fascinated by my underwear, perhaps because she still went in diapers.

When I found her during the “fitting,” I could not help but laugh, but then I turned to explanations. I said that she, too, would have wonderful panties, if she would go to the pot. And it worked! ”

You can also use such situations to talk with your child about the value of their own opinions and behavior. “My daughter was very upset that she could not walk in the same shoes as me. They fell off her legs, the girl stumbled all the time and was very upset about it. My dad and I said that we really like her shoes, that they are beautiful on her legs and are so funny on my father’s and mine. ”

Mom's copy or mom's rival

Sometimes it happens that, playing mother, copying her behavior, the child tries to fill the lack of a real mother in her life. It is in the third year of her daughter’s life that women begin to miss their affairs, return to active professional life and emotionally move away from the child.

Therefore, if mother’s games become predominant, try to find time for a warm relationship with your child.

A few days old baby is already able to smile back, stick out the tongue, specifically inflate the cheeks and even express joy or surprise.

From 3 to 4 months, the baby is entertained by copying the smiles and grimaces of familiar faces.

By the first year, the child repeats different movements, intonations, sounds.

From 12 to 18 months, the child learns to find something interesting in the new characters. At the same time he makes a pen “goodbye” or sends air kisses.

By 2 years old, the child adopts adult behavior (even in their absence), regardless of gender. Imitated gestures and poses, whole big phrases.

Between 3 and 4 years old children play mother, shop assistant, nurse. In general, the characters are precisely those adults whom the child admires, whom he loves.

Then each child localizes his own model (usually for a little girl she becomes a mother, for a little boy – a dad).

At 5-6 years old, a child adapts to the style of behavior that is clearly defined by his gender.

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