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Intimate life after childbirth: what do men feel?

Intimate life after childbirth: what do men feel?

Does intimate life change after episiotomy (perineal incision) or cesarean section? How does the presence of stitches and scars affect the sensations of a man and a woman during intercourse? These questions concern many young mothers.

Obstetricians and sexologists say: most often, all fears are unfounded. But after childbirth it is worth remembering how it all happened for the very first time, and be patient. Intimate life is sure to improve, but this will take some time.

What kind of problems can partners face when resuming an intimate relationship if a woman has undergone an episiotomy or a cesarean section?

Childbirth is always a serious test for the female body, and obstetric intervention, which is an episiotomy (perineal dissection), sometimes makes it difficult to recover after childbirth and return to a full-fledged sex life. But, as practice shows, many female “troubles” about the resumption of intimate relationships after the birth of a child are purely psychological.

Excitement over episiotomy is one of them.

Usually a woman is worried about how this manipulation will affect the period of sexual abstinence and whether the scar that forms on the perineum will affect the feelings during intimate relationships.

We hasten to reassure: an episiotomy makes a very small incision of the perineum 1.5–2 cm long. When it is sewn, self-absorbable threads are used, which means that the sutures should not be removed.

Moreover, a cosmetic seam is often applied to the perineum, which becomes imperceptible after 2–3 weeks. The scar, which forms at the site of the incision, also heals fairly quickly.

After healing, the woman does not feel it – neither by touch nor by intimacy. It also does not feel it during stimulation or during intercourse and partner.

As you can see, neither the type of obstetric intervention, nor the number of stitches imposed on the quality of intimate relationships after childbirth do not affect.

Very different circumstances are important, for example, the state of the vagina after natural childbirth and the speed of cervical closure.

The uterus after childbirth is reduced gradually, respectively, and the cervix does not close immediately. As long as it remains ajar, any infection that enters the vagina may end up in the uterus and cause an inflammatory process. This is one of the reasons why doctors recommend refraining from intimate relationships for 6–8 weeks after giving birth.

And for the same reason, a young mother must visit a gynecologist before resuming her sexual life. If everything is in order, you can start the first careful experiments.

And then a man may find that his tactile sensations during intercourse have changed. He is not so quickly reaches full satisfaction.

Do not worry: this is a temporary inconvenience. The fact is that the dimensions of the vagina are not constant. Changes begin after a woman begins to live sexually.

The more it is active, the larger the size of the vagina, and this is good. Partners no longer have difficulties, which contributes to mutual satisfaction. After childbirth, the situation becomes different, since the muscles of the pelvic floor and the walls of the vagina are over-stretched and the size of the vagina greatly increases.

It cannot be otherwise, because the baby’s head must pass through the vagina. But to assume that this situation will continue for the rest of his life is a big mistake: immediately after birth, the pelvic floor muscles and the walls of the vagina begin to contract.

How quickly and to what extent the muscles can contract, depends entirely on the elasticity of the tissues.

The speed of recovery after childbirth is influenced by many circumstances: how this process went, the number of births, the size of the child, but most importantly, how elastic the vaginal tissues were before birth. Their condition, in particular, worsen sexually transmitted infections, candidiasis and colpitis.

And yet – the extra weight (the more fat, the less elastic the tissue) and the lack of physical activity.

That is why doctors strongly advise you to take care of yourself and play sports at the stage of preparing for pregnancy. Fitness, swimming, walking will be useful. While carrying a baby, physical therapy exercises are recommended, and if there are no contraindications and the doctor does not mind, yoga and swimming in the pool.

When the muscles of the pelvic floor and the walls of the vagina are strong and elastic, the woman transfers the load associated with the pregnancy more easily, gives birth more easily, and after giving birth the vagina returns to almost the same size as before the pregnancy.

The conclusion suggests itself. If the spouse or sexual partner hints that the sensations are lost and he does not get the same satisfaction, it is worthwhile to begin to strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor.

This will not be a big problem: there are a lot of schools and various courses that are purposefully engaged in such training.

Intimate gymnastics, which has several dozen exercises, can help to cope with such difficulties. To find out if there are any contraindications and what loads are allowed for you exactly after delivery, visit a gynecologist. His recommendations will depend on whether there is an omission of the vaginal walls.

Only this doctor can estimate this parameter.

With a caesarean section, there are no such noticeable changes in the vagina as with vaginal delivery. Muscles experienced stress only during pregnancy, and therefore stretched much less, respectively, and the size of the vagina is a little closer to what it was before birth.

This is a huge plus when we talk about intimate relationships, because muscles contract faster and during intercourse a man is unlikely to experience any inconvenience. Moreover, after operative labor, if there were no postoperative complications and the caesarean section was planned, the cervix closes faster. This means that such an operation has no effect on sexual abstinence.

The recommendations remain the same as during birth through the birth canal: 6–8 weeks of rest.

As for the changes in the figure, they depend not on the mode of delivery, but on the physical fitness of the woman. During pregnancy, the anterior abdominal wall is strongly stretched in all women. It is just that in untrained young mothers, muscles become flabby because of this, and slender and fit, who were physically active, quickly return to normal.

The scar remaining on the skin after cesarean section does not affect the elasticity of the skin and tissues. There is no reason and fear that the scar will be noticeable and the man will no longer experience the same attraction to his beloved. Now the doctors have in mind similar circumstances and during the operation they make a very small incision and impose a cosmetic suture, which is practically not visible.

Moreover, the cut is made low enough so that he was under the panties and was invisible even when a woman puts on a bikini. The healed suture in appearance resembles a thin thread and often, when the postpartum period ends and the characteristic pigmentation of the pregnant woman disappears, it is skillfully “masked” in the fold of the abdomen. But, on the other hand, after a cesarean section, painful sensations during intimacy can persist long enough.

This is confirmed by data from Australian studies, according to which women who have undergone a Cesarean section are twice as likely as women who have a natural childbirth, during the postpartum period to experience pain during or after intercourse.

The way intimate life after childbirth, depends largely on the psychological attitude and relationships within the couple. After natural childbirth, it is more difficult for a woman to resume her sex life, because she has experienced quite strong contractions, suffered pain and is now unwittingly afraid to try it again. So a lot here depends on the man.

He should be sympathetic to the fears of his beloved and take into account that, after the break, the first experiments may not bring much pleasure to the partner.

Feelings during the resumption of sexual relations are similar to those experienced by a woman at the time of losing her virginity. Because a man should not hurry.

Remember, as it was the first time, try to start everything from the very beginning: spend more time on preliminary caresses and stimulations and act slowly, without jerks. When the glands are actively working, convergence is easier.

The general advice is: listen to your own body, it will always tell you what to do and how. And do not hesitate to discuss problems with your partner.

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