You first bought a baby finger paint. The seller in the shop assured you that without exception, two-year-olds adored them, you heard a lot about the benefits of this material for developing the child’s creative abilities and you yourself would not mind trying to draw with your hands.
Anticipating delight, disguised in old T-shirts, you sat down with the baby on the floor in front of a decomposed sheet of paper paper and opened bright jars. But as soon as you put your child’s finger in the paint, he suddenly panicked and sent all the energy to immediately wipe it off his hands, actively protesting against your attempts to carry him away with drawing.
The next day, the same story came out with clay … You were confused – because you never seemed to scold him for sloppiness … Why would you take this mania of purity?
Manifestations of childish “disgust” in 2–3 years, confusing parents, child development experts consider normal and explainable phenomenon. During this period, the child achieves a certain autonomy, ceases to be completely dependent on the mother of the baby.
Carrying out independently various actions, most recently inaccessible to him without the help of adults, he begins to assert himself in his own strength and power. He is praised for achievements, and he gains confidence in himself, in his abilities. Self-esteem, attention to their own actions and the qualities of other people.
We can say that right now the little man is learning to truly love himself and others. The test of strength hardens the baby, he experiences very strong and diverse feelings – his new status simultaneously admires and frightens him.
He would like to establish complete domination over the entire world, and he has yet to determine its boundaries.
This process can sometimes be painful. The child perceives any self-doubt as a security threat. Therefore, it is so difficult for a two-year-old to submit to someone else’s will, for which older children, not without reason, tease him with a barchy and mama’s son, and you hear from strangers comments about the spoiledness of your offspring.
In fact, the child is intuitively looking for ways to resist the chaos of the world opening to him. He needs not only strength and independence, but also security.
Some children find it difficult to adapt to the slightest changes in their familiar surroundings. They jealously ensure that their place at the table was not occupied, and refuse to sleep without her mother’s lullaby.
Almost everyone in this period becomes “owners” and refuses to share toys. When confronted with the limitations of their omnipotence, children can get out of themselves with the slightest difficulty, the main one being their own helplessness. For example, a child is furiously angry at a door that you cannot open.
Not having enough support and patience from their elders, the kid can resist trying to teach him something new, and even sometimes the parents doubt that everything is in order with his mental abilities?
The own body during this period is both the main object and the main tool of knowledge: it is the part of the world that most willingly obeys the little “emperor”. Indeed, most children happily bathe, lying on the grass and in the snow, raking up sand and even dirt with their hands, getting dirty – in general, as expected, they explore and study the world. But sometimes a child who didn’t pay attention to the weather yesterday, causes a slight breeze to panic, and he demands to immediately stop the walk.
Or suddenly he refuses to sit in the bath until all the foam is drained from there. Or a tiny spot of dirt on shoes spoils all the pleasure of visiting the theater.
Parents who are confronted with such behavior — and this is nothing but a manifestation of anxiety that is common at this age — must first of all be armed with patience and special attention should be paid to their own reactions. The baby is now particularly in need of understanding and support.
He himself will not be able to explain to you what is really happening to him and why a drop of water on his shirt or fingers soiled with paint caused a fit of anger.
Show your baby that you understand his feelings. Without commenting on them, try to shift the attention of the baby. To defuse the situation, talk about what you intend to do in an hour, offer to drink water or juice, and then go for a walk or play a game checked and loved by the kid … For example, say this: “I see that you are upset and now in the mood to sculpt.
And if you want, we will throw the ball in the yard, and then we will prepare together juice from pears and … apples … and from what? ”The kid will understand that because of a small incident, the balance in the world has not been disturbed and nothing threatens his safety.
Even if you are very annoyed, try to pull yourself together and not get angry.
You can not tease a child, call her cleaners and belarium. It is better not to show annoyance and disappointment at all.
Alas, children in this period quickly learn to manipulate us, “push the buttons,” and it is better not to back up undesirable behavior with strong emotions.
You can not ignore the feelings of the baby. Do not say: “Do not make a tragedy because of such nonsense.” A very bad habit is to compare a child with other children (“Your sister in three years already painted better than an adult!”, “Any child in your place would scream with delight, and you are again crying”).
If he does not want to draw or sculpt – do not insist, do not try to prove by all means how much he will lose, if he does not immediately connect to you. So you only strengthen his resistance.
Wait some time, maybe a few days.
Choose the moment when the child is calm, full and you yourself do not hurry and are not nervous. Start yourself, let the kid watch you for a while: most likely, mixing colors, the appearance, as if by magic, of the whole world on the table will not leave him indifferent. But do not rush, move in his rhythm.
Sometimes, in order to interest a child in new activities, several sessions are needed. And it happens that does not work at all. Well, no big deal!
Try something else, options for developing lessons for preschoolers set.
Discuss the problem with the nanny and other family members. Often, fathers and grandmothers are less than moms tolerant of the creative activity of the baby.
Maybe someone scolded a child for soiled hands or led an impressed child to talk about germs. Older people who raised children without antibacterial wipes and automatic washing machines sometimes inspire too strict hygiene rules for the baby and speak with great pride about the accuracy and even “squeamishness” of the pupil.
The behavior of the child can be explained by the reaction to stress.
Admission to the kindergarten, changing the nanny, the appearance of a new child in the house, moving – some events can weaken the inner sense of security of your baby. In such a situation, anxiety attacks, crying, protest on the most insignificant occasion, regressive behavior (for example, when the child suddenly refuses to wash his hands, sleep in his crib, begins to suck a finger or the edge of clothes) are explained by the unconscious desire of the baby to increase control over the familiar environment. The point here is to psychologically return to the safe situation of the past, to find a quiet niche.
Help him, surround with increased attention.
Hug often, talk more about his experiences, do not scold for tearfulness, do not be ashamed. Nothing bad will happen if you play along with him: you can ride him in a wheelchair, let him sometimes stay overnight in your bed. Co-drawing will help, by the way: start with a familiar technique (crayons, pencils), gradually introduce new materials.
Prepare the salted dough when the child has mastered it, add food coloring to it, then go on to the application and so on … – and everything will go into its own rut.
Try to treat this particular baby with humor. This does not mean that you should be ironic about this; it is especially harmful to poke fun at a child with strangers. Just try to add fun and games in situations where there is a danger of getting dirty.
Cooking cake cream with your daughter? Put it a little on your nose and laugh together.
And if she knocks over the soup on the dress, tell me that the washing machine will also taste this delicious food with pleasure. You can always come up with a funny story that will distract the baby and quickly dry the tears.
If the soiled hands continue to disturb the child and distract from artistic expression, try next time to put on a special apron of waterproof fabric (there are even models with long sleeves). If he is afraid to dirty the table, work on the floor, or even better – arrange a trip to the open air!
Keep wet wipes on hand and be ready to pause at any time.
And, finally, think again, are you not too strict about keeping your house clean? It happens that a child often gets reprimanded for the mess he has made, albeit in a rather mild form, while mom automatically threatens with a finger in response to his every attempt to touch a pebble in the yard or come close to a puddle … It is proved that children who grew up in conditions close to sterile, especially often suffer from intestinal infections and allergies. In addition, the fear of microbes can grow into a whole bunch of fears and anxieties about health.
The child will learn the basic rules of hygiene, following your example. And will certainly be happy, imitating your desire for creative activity!