Playing alone, the child receives a special, incomparable pleasure. But, remaining alone with himself, he should feel calm and safe. Indeed, in most cases, the difficulty is not that the baby cannot think of what to do, but that he feels not too confident without his mother’s presence.
Some children seem to be “forgotten”, plunging into the game, at this time they are not at all interested in the whereabouts of their parents. The little ones are absolutely serene, as they are sure that the mother is near and will not disappear anywhere while they are selflessly playing.
But many children, left alone even for a short time and having lost the ability to control you, feel very anxious. Loneliness actualizes and sharpens fears.
It `s naturally. That is why the child left to himself cannot concentrate on the game, since he needs to constantly make sure that some of the adults are nearby, within walking distance. Hence the endless requests to play together: the baby feels safe only when you are with him.
Of course, after some time he will become independent and autonomous and will be able to safely endure loneliness. But the child will need support in order to learn how to do without your help in the process of driving the car to the garage or organizing lunch for dolls.
At the age of 2–4 years, the child gradually begins to understand that he is a separate person, learns not to turn around to you when asked for his name, but to answer independently. He gradually gains individuality, and this process requires a huge expenditure of energy from him. This is a difficult period, as if the child is swinging on a swing, then he approaches you, not wanting to leave for a minute, then he moves away, trying his hand at independent behavior.
This is a difficult time when at the same time he wants to remain a child on her mother’s lap and become an adult, independent, skillful, take the initiative. He may be seriously worried about such conflicting desires, his fear of being alone increases, he feels insecure, therefore he needs more of your attention than usual. The kid does not have enough own resources to cope with such important changes.
Refusing to play alone, he seems to be telling you: “Dad, Mom, I still feel completely uncomfortable with myself.” Or he has the impression that you are not paying enough attention to him. There are many reasons explaining his feeling of insecurity.
It is important to try to understand what prevents the child from becoming a source of game plots and fantasies for himself, and to help him overcome these difficulties.
When your baby systematically calls you to play with him, do not feel obliged to respond to his request immediately! If you are really busy or want to relax a little, you can calmly and firmly say to him: “Now I am busy and I cannot help you.
I will definitely play with you when I get free. ” You do not become bad parents, refusing a child to immediately fulfill his request.
You simply let him know that you are an individual, with your needs, and have the right to expect patience and understanding from him. Even if a small child is not yet able to do without outside help, he cannot be constantly dependent on other people and on their presence.
This may complicate his adult life! We all need our own little world in which we are able to enjoy the solitude. Playing independently, the child turns to his imagination, he imitates, presents himself as someone else.
In his game, he can imagine himself as several characters at once, build relationships between them, speak for them. If you are a regular participant in his games, this process is somewhat slowed down.
The baby needs you to learn how to play on your own.
- Inspire him. Watch him from a distance, and when you notice that he has done something, pay attention to it. Praise his building, comfort in a doll house or properly assembled puzzles. To agree to play alone, the child must be confident enough in himself. He needs to hear that he is doing everything well and correctly.
- Help him find a lesson. Sometimes, being alone, he does not know what to do. He feels confused in front of a mountain of toys, it is difficult for him to make a choice. Without insisting on a particular game, help him choose a lesson by asking questions in a game form. The kid will surely pick up one of your ideas, and he will immediately have a desire to play.
- Stay nearby. It is not necessary to sit in the immediate vicinity of him, but do not go far and talk with him, without leaving your classes. Your voice will fill the void, frightening the child.
- Show interest in the games of the child. In order to help him make a choice, you need to confidently navigate in his toys and have an idea of his preferences.
In order for the baby to play independently, offer him a large selection of games. By 2-3 years in his arsenal should be a wide variety of toys: cars, animals, dolls and everything that is attached to them.
At this age, you should not limit the choice of toys, buying boys only equipment, and girls only dolls and soft toys. The child learns the world in all its diversity, and such artificial limitations impoverish his game.
Buy for your baby a tent house in which he can retire when you are nearby. He will feel comfortable in such a small, cozy space. Offer him to invite guests to his house and arrange a tea party for them.
Ask for his permission before looking in on him. This is a good way to make a child feel that he is safe from sudden intrusions.
This approach will open for him one more pleasant side of loneliness, the opportunity to manage his time and space at his own discretion.
The kid takes the first steps in the world of logical ideas: think about the designers and puzzles. And, of course, colored pencils, paints, multi-colored clay, scissors with blunt ends and glue for the youngest will find their application in his work.
And do not forget about the books with pictures that your crumb will view alone. after reading them with you!
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