Initially, you need to be prepared for such phenomena, because when visiting a child care center, the child not only gets used to the new rules and new people, he also learns a lot, and any training does not go smoothly, and at any time there may be difficulties. During this period, the help and understanding of parents are essential.
According to experts, the adaptation period takes an average of six months. So we should prepare for the various manifestations of children’s anxiety, sort out the possible causes of such changes and find the most appropriate ways to solve them.
The most important thing in a child’s life is the feeling of your love. When he went into the garden and began to spend a long time apart from you, the baby’s internal anxiety could accumulate. The child could conclude that his mother sends him to kindergarten because he is no longer loved and now he is disturbing everyone.
Especially often such anxiety in children occurs when the younger brothers and sisters appear in the family, after which the kindergarten is perceived by the child as a real exile.
How to help? Do not give the child to the kindergarten just because you have one more child, even if it makes your life much easier.
Your baby will already feel a lack of previous attention due to the appearance of an unwelcome guest, and he will certainly interpret your decision to send him to a preschool institution as a confirmation of lost parental love. Therefore, if you, while expecting a child, nevertheless decide to give the elder to kindergarten, do it in advance, before the appearance of the crumbs.
A three-year-old baby is still very much in need of a mother, in her physical presence, caress, touch. It is important that he understand: the need to go to kindergarten does not mean that his mother began to love him less.
All the time, explain to the child that he is dear to you and loved as before. Left among children and caregivers, the child should not feel lonely and abandoned. Bring to kindergarten something that will become part of the familiar to the baby environment.
Buy your child a teddy friend who will be with him always when he sleeps, and later he will meet him in the kindergarten bed and smell like home, inspiring a sense of calm and security. Tell the baby that you will return, “when the sun sets and begins to darken,” or say: “You will sleep, then eat, and immediately after that I will come.”
Such characteristics of time are clear to him, in contrast to abstract ones “after work” or “in the evening”. Talk about kindergarten and tutors only good, try to increase their importance for the child.
Never say to the pinched pussy: “If you don’t stop messing around, I’ll take you back to the garden.” A garden is not a punishment and not a place where children are sent to teach them or get rid of them. On the contrary, children go to the garden who have already matured enough to learn many interesting things, build a real friendship with the guys, and only those who know how to behave beautifully.
In the evening, when the baby comes home, you need to devote a little time to him, because he was without you all day! At home he needs to get what he does not get in the group: participation, positive attention of adults and the opportunity to speak out. Therefore, it should not be, bringing the crumb home, immediately rush to do household chores.
And at the time of crisis, try to pay more attention to the good actions of the baby, ignore all undesirable manifestations. Childish leprosy, whims, worries and anxieties on the way to the garden is a hidden question: “Do you love me?”, Which needs confirmation.
You and your relatives told the kid about the kindergarten as about some wonderful place where he will have many friends and he will be able to have fun all the days long. Time passes and what does he see? A garden is a kind of well-organized structure, where there are educators who constantly monitor it and require discipline from it.
The child notices that attention is paid not only to him, but also to other children. Since the child’s expectations are fundamentally at variance with reality, he comes to disappointment.
How to help? Explain to the child why a garden is needed, tell them that he will learn many new and interesting things, but do not hide the fact that for this you will need to make some efforts, because kindergarten is a serious step towards independent living. Visiting a children’s group, kids become adults, smart, responsible, and this is not easy for all children.
The little baby wants to get big as soon as possible, and how much he succeeds in it depends on him. Do not show your feelings for the child, if you have any, do not interrogate the kid in the evenings about whether his children are being offended, whether the teacher is screaming and forcing him to finish what he doesn’t like.
Your doubts, fears and anxieties will surely go to the child and only aggravate the problem of visiting the garden. You shouldn’t discuss the problems that concern you with little ones, especially the problem of getting used to the kindergarten. Assure the child in your love, note the positive changes in his behavior, sincerely rejoice in his success and new skills.
And in the evenings, be more with the child, let him talk, discuss the issues that concern the baby, try to relax as much as possible – listen to the music together, take a walk, bathe, drink tea.
It turned out that in the kindergarten he almost all the time lonely sits in a corner, tries to be inconspicuous, always obediently fulfills the orders of teachers, but he does not take any initiative. Sometimes children in this form manifest stress associated with dramatic changes in life. However, sometimes it is just difficult for the child to find contact with children, he still does not know how to interact with the children, it is difficult for him to feel naturally and confidently surrounded by his peers.
Not always a new social circle becomes close at once, very often it is difficult for a child to find a true friend, and new impressions bring him nothing but insults and disappointments.
How to help? The child is accustomed to communication in the family, where he feels protected, surrounded by care, where all attention is paid to him, always regret, explain and help.
Now he has to solve difficult even for adults: the approach to new people and the choice of a friend. Use the road home to help your child make contact with other children. Invite one of the parents to go to the playground: two friends of the child, surrounded by foreign children, are likely to stay close.
Ask your kid if he likes someone from the group, invite him for a weekend visit or a walk.
Bake a cake and bring it to the garden so that your baby can treat his new friends and feel himself in the thick of things. If a child begins to form a certain circle of friends, he will no longer be bored; it is enough to help him find 1-2 friends – and the situation will get better.
Visit children’s parks and playgrounds, visit your friends who have children. Observe how he behaves: shy, retire, conflict, fight, or easily find a common language, contact with peers, reach for communication.
Teach your child to say hello, to offer their toys to children, to ask permission to play with them, to respond correctly to failure, finding a compromise. Teach your child to bring to the kindergarten only those toys that he is willing to share.
Watch the child when his group is walking. Find out what worries the baby, what are the names of his friends, with whom he can not yet find a common language.
If your baby is sure that his mother is on his side, he loves, helps and understands, he will feel calmer and more comfortable.
It often happens that great progress in development is accompanied by a little fear and uncertainty. The child may be afraid that something will fail, because they demand a lot from him.
This is often manifested in tears and tantrums over trifles such as blots, corrections, difficulty in memorizing poetry or writing stories. Anxiety is aggravated not only because of the difficult task, but also because of the fact that it is appreciated by other people, educators, that now there are guys around him who can do something neater, more beautiful, better.
The most common source of tension during class is publicity, the presence of a large number of strangers around.
How to help? The less you attach importance to the failures of the child, the less he will feel different from his comrades. At the same time, do not forget to cheer him up and praise him in his deeds.
When the baby is just beginning to learn something, some fear of failure is normal. Do not worry about him, the child will be more confident in himself when he enters the working rhythm of the group, because there are so many different rules in the kindergarten and few months to figure everything out.
Ask the caregiver to be more gentle and tactful, try not to notice the shortcomings and failures of the baby in the presence of other children, tell us what your child likes to do and what he does best. Encourage your child a little more, cultivate self-reliance, praise him for any apparent results. At the lesson in the kindergarten, you learned the song and the child sang it to you – rejoice for it; There are some drawings or applications of children in the group – see where your child’s work is, show interest in his work.
Not to mention the fact that children often in the classroom make gifts to their parents – they draw something, sculpt it, glue it. And you should not immediately before the eyes of the child, having received such a gift, throw it into the trash.
The child is very depressed, often sad, or whims become frequent at home, but on the way home the baby is silent and does not make contact. What happens to him?
How to help? Some children at first very tired in kindergarten from new experiences and a large number of people. If a child comes home exhausted and nervous, it does not mean that he is not able to get used to kindergarten.
Try to pick it up from kindergarten earlier or leave it at home 1-2 times a week. Communicate more often with teachers.
Do not hesitate to ask them about your child, discuss emerging problems, and together look for solutions. Listen carefully to all the news and complaints that the baby wants to share with you. Let him know that his thoughts are very important to you.
Ask him specific questions to which he can simply answer “yes” or “no”, for example, “Did you play with Sonya today?” Or “Did you build a house?”. If we recall in this way about the events in the kindergarten, he will probably tell himself further about what will be remembered to him.
Refer directly to the feelings of the child: “Are you upset because you had to wait long for me?” When questions are asked in too general form (“How was it?”, “How was your day?”), Children are simply lost.
Play stories with toys about a bunny or a bear cub, who was afraid of kindergarten and did not want to go there. How does a baby behave in one role or another, what does it say?
Does the teacher scold him or praise? Does the bear sit – a type of child – alone in the corner or playing with everyone? Crying or laughing?
It is in the game that it will be easy for you to get objective information about what is happening with the child in the garden, because he will reproduce real events. Such games are often the only way to learn something – not all children can and want to share experiences with their parents. If your baby is from such silent people, give him a toy with him, and in the evening ask him what he did in the kindergarten if he was good.
Through the game, you can show your child how to make new friends and find a solution to the problem. It is important that the game always ends on a positive note.
If the crumb complains often enough about the caregiver or some child, do not ignore it. Coming for a child, look closely at who and how your baby plays, how the teacher communicates with the children.
Come in the “inopportune time” – and if the baby’s complaints are confirmed, and you could not influence the situation with the help of conversations or games in kindergarten, consult a psychologist. If you feel that your child has serious difficulties with kindergarten, do not dismiss them.
Do not let the child suffer and communicate with unpleasant people, because the garden is a place where the kid spends a lot of time. Consider transferring a child to another pre-school institution if it is not in your power to influence the situation, if the problem lies in the teacher or another’s child.