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I don’t want to take my husband’s name

I don't want to take my husband's name

This simple, even somewhat formal situation (you don’t share the apartment) for your relationship can be a serious cause for quarrels and conflict. On the one hand, there is no such law, according to which you must take the name of your husband.

This is your personal right and you are not obliged to prove anything to anyone. But on the other – what is important here is exactly what is behind such a decision, on which it is actually based.

Think and tell yourself honestly – do you really want to marry this man? Do you love him and accept him completely?

The motive is not to take a surname, because it is ugly, it may be due to the fact that somewhere inside you are shy of yourself and fear that with such a name you will certainly become a target for ridicule.

The reluctance to mess with documents is probably a signal that you seem not to want to solve some common problems that certainly arise in people in a relationship. Changing documents is a matter of several weeks, and certainly not critical.

Honestly, a little childish it sounds that because of this you refuse to accept the name of your husband.

For a man, your refusal to take his surname is most likely very unpleasant and offensive. Any man making an offer to his beloved wants her to belong to him all, completely and completely.

And accepting his last name is one of those rituals of your initiation into marriage, into your new life. The fact that you refuse the name of the chosen one means that you do not seem to want to take some part of it and part of its kind.

And not sure of their choice until the end. In addition, leaving your surname, you seem to give yourself the opportunity to remain half unmarried, to preserve your independence from your husband, to be separate from marriage and from this man himself.

I suggest you seriously think and admit to yourself what you really do not want, refusing the name of a man.

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