Главная 7 Child development 7 How to tell a child about divorce?

How to tell a child about divorce?

How to tell a child about divorce?

Divorce is an ordeal for the whole family. Such a decision is not easy and is almost always accompanied by conflicts and a loud clarification of the relationship.

As a rule, the child does not remain aloof from what is happening, or even turns out to be in the line of fire, or serves as a “cover” for one of the parents.

The habitual world of the kid collapses. The range of parental emotions in this difficult period ranges from hostility and outbursts of anger to despondency and despair, and the child can take it personally.

It is difficult for him to understand that what is happening concerns only parents. The child may feel guilty, believing that he had committed some kind of mistake and … became the cause of the divorce.

The sooner you explain to him that your decision is not related to him, the less reason he will have to blame himself for his parents not living together. Let the child know that he is not responsible for the divorce, but he cannot influence your decision either.

During the period of divorce, the behavior of the child may change markedly, he becomes whiny, stubborn, angry. The sleep, appetite can be broken, there are new or amplified already existing fears. The appearance of certain symptoms suggests that the child’s experiences are so strong that he cannot cope with them and he needs support and help.

And first of all from parents. Where to start?

Talk openly with your child about the changes that will occur in your life. In this situation, it will definitely be better that both parents participate in the conversation.

Tell your baby that you understand how hard it is for him, it’s very sad when mom and dad break up. Be sure to talk about your feelings and experiences, about how upset you are.

Many parents try to hide their feelings, to pretend that everything is in order. But, paradoxically, this behavior only complicates the situation: and then the baby feels isolated, alone with his anxiety, sadness, and fears. Talking with a child about divorce cannot do without the manifestation of feelings and sometimes without tears.

You are probably afraid to upset the baby with this news and the manifestation of your own emotions. The most important thing: tell the child that you are not crying because of him, now you are very sad, and you can not refrain from tears.

Your behavior will allow the child to also openly express their feelings. If he needs it, he will cry too.

By showing your feelings, you thereby “legalize” the child’s feelings, letting him know that his experiences are relevant and natural in such a situation. He does not need to hide them. If a child is free to express his feelings: anger at parents for a ruined family, fear of separation, his own powerlessness to change anything, anxiety, sadness, he will not need to express it differently, using symptoms: loss of sleep, appetite, the appearance of night fears …

Speaking with the child about the divorce, be sure to tell about the reasons, this is important. You shouldn’t think of anything (“It is more convenient for the pope to live with his mom, he works a lot” or “Dad went on a business trip”). Tell your child about how you met, about the best moments that you experienced together, about what you like about each other.

Explain to him that love does not always last forever. He will understand that even if the love between his parents is over, it still existed and that he is the fruit of this love.

Be sure to tell your fumes that your case is not single, this happens in many families, it is sad, but it happens.

Do not say that your marriage was a mistake and that it would be better for you all. Even if this is so for you, for the child the integrity of the family is really important, and you should not question it. Reassure the child, do not tell him: “Mom and dad no longer love each other.”

Better say: “Our love as husband and wife is over, but the love of mother and father has remained.” You break up as a couple, but you remain parents. For your child in this capacity, you are still one.

And he needs to maintain the old relationship and relationship with each of the parents.

Tell him: “Dad (mom) will live in another house, but this is also your home.” Be sure to discuss with each other, in which mode you will see the child, do not let it take its course.

When you make a decision about the days and hours of meetings, discuss it with the baby, he should have a sense of stability, it will be easier for him to come to terms with the separation.

О admin

x

Check Also

Mountains, air and Narzan: family rest and treatment in Kislovodsk

Zheleznovodsk specializes in diseases of the digestive system, kidney and urinary tract diseases, Pyatigorsk’s “trick” ...

Shopping for a newborn

This section is devoted to what items will help make the life of the child ...

Two dads – one son

Such questions about biological and adoptive parents, about a new family of a father or ...

Empty pot – simple item

However, if your baby is not in a hurry to part with a diaper, you ...

Chest “question

First of all, your mood and emotional situation in the family will help to solve ...

Careful stranger!

The model of improper behavior of a child with strangers and its sad results were ...

sponge Bob Square Pants

The most ardent fans and connoisseurs of the underwater world, where SpongeBob lives, can win ...

Sergey Bezrukov will play one of the main roles in “Treasure Island”

Moscow Gubernsky Theater invites guests again! On May 30 and 31, young spectators, as well ...

We are pregnant “

In psychology, there is a point of view that the birth of a firstborn is ...

Urban transport: courtesy lessons

Parents want their child to be socially adapted, that is, they feel calm and confident ...

Hippotherapy: treatment with the soul

Hippotherapy is a unique method of treatment and rehabilitation with the help of a horse. ...

Son breaks toys

Tummy sore

As you know, most often problems arise when you least expect them. So here: everything ...

Yes, you do not believe it!

Sometimes doctors themselves are convinced of the veracity of some of the most common parental ...

Homeopathy for children

The debate between doctors – supporters and opponents of homeopathy – has lasted for decades. ...

Hunger strike: welcome for those who want to lose weight

Recently, scientists have found that the sequence of cycles of starvation-overeating in animals leads to ...

Children and medicines: nothing more!

The advice to consult a doctor and get his approval for the treatment of the ...

Influenza during pregnancy: the danger and treatment

Acute respiratory diseases (ARD) include a large group of respiratory tract diseases caused by infection. ...

Forgotten games: what our parents played when they were children

You can try to find a way out of the situation if you mentally return ...

Glenn Doman: Your child is a genius

It all started when, at the end of the forties, a young military doctor, Glen ...

My son and I began to quarrel “

Your confusion is partly understandable. It may be difficult for you now to keep from ...

Infections: notice and eradicate!

How to understand if everything is alright? This will indicate, firstly, modest, not surprising volume ...

Worms in a child: what to do

Worms (in scientific helminths) are called parasitic worms and their larvae. The number of species ...

Denis Maydanov: Eternal love

HAPPY PARENTS Often a couple has a relationship crisis with the appearance of a child. ...