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How to help your child cope with fears?

How to help your child cope with fears?

Perhaps you are one of those lucky people who boldly sits in the dentist’s chair, bloodlessly donates blood and has nothing against regular medical examinations. But when it was time for your baby to visit the dentist for the first time, he began to sob and squirm, trying to get out of the “scary” chair.

Where did this fear come from? And how to behave in a similar situation: scolding a little coward for lack of courage, embark on lengthy explanations about the painlessness of such procedures or postpone a visit to the dentist for an indefinite period?

Fears of the child, which can be perceived as annoying hindrances, are in fact a part of his development and adaptation.

As they grow older, they change, reflecting the changes taking place in his life. The kid begins to crawl, learns to walk, talk, every day his life brings something new.

Everything happens so fast! And a small child needs to cope with all the changes in mental and physical development, simultaneously assimilating a lot of information.

But some situations are too difficult for him, and then he may experience anxiety and fear. But you are there and can always cheer and comfort him.

Why are children scared? For a child, anxiety near someone’s stranger is a way to show that he understands: this person is not a mom or a dad.

The point is not that the nanny frightens the child with something, but that the crumb trusts only close people whom he has known for a long time. But there are times when you have to deal with “strangers” who look, speak and smell differently from their parents. And this is a cause for alarm, but quite natural.

You do not want your child to trust all strangers?

How to help? Regardless of the age of the child should not leave him with the nurse too quickly. Try to make this transition gradually: invite your nanny home and spend time together.

When a child gets used to a new person a little, you can leave them alone, and do your homework yourself. If the baby and the nanny have become friends and you are sure that they are comfortable together, you can leave the house.

However, remember that you should not do it in secret without telling your baby “goodbye”. Be calm but firm.

An older child can be explained: “Mom is leaving now, but she will be back soon. And while I will not be, the nurse will play and walk with you. ”

Sitting in a chair at the dentist or feeling the chill of a stethoscope, the child feels vulnerable. He does not know what they are going to do with him.

Other people’s hands touch his body, and this is experienced as an invasion of personal space. Yes, and medical instruments look scary. Most doctors are afraid of children who have undergone painful medical procedures or have experienced hospitalization.

But even children without such negative experiences may be afraid of a white coat, a stethoscope or an ENT doctor’s mirror and make a fuss.

How to help? First, explain to the child what the doctor is for. He wishes him well and helps maintain health.

Before you visit the doctor, play in the hospital: give the child a baby medical kit and offer to examine the teddy bear with him or become a patient. Going to the doctor, grab the toy with you.

While waiting for the reception, encourage the baby: “Yesterday we treated the bear, and today you go to the doctor.”

It is very important that during the examination the doctor informs the child about his subsequent actions. Think about your first visit to the gynecologist – you did want to know about all the manipulations in order to prepare yourself both morally and physically?

The same happens with your child. The dentist will reassure the crumb if he says: “And now I’m going to look at your teeth to make sure they are clean and healthy.”

If the child managed to survive the visit to the doctor, be sure to pay attention to this: “Look, you are almost not afraid, I am very proud of you.”

Why are children afraid of the dark? When a child does not see what surrounds him, he seems to lose control over what is happening.

From the usual objects are only vague shadows, and any rustling seems loud and frightening in the silence of the night.

Darkness is tied in the minds of people with evil, monsters and villains live in the darkness of caves, crypts, abandoned castles. This is a deep fear, reflecting a person’s fear of the unknown, of loneliness, of death.

Therefore, many otherwise fearless children are afraid of the dark.

How to help? The easiest and most sensible way to help a child overcome the fear of darkness is to leave a small light in his room.

The baby will feel safe and his sleep will be deep and calm.

Ask the child about what frightens him in the dark. Talking about his fantasies, he will certainly feel relieved to meet your understanding and sympathy.

Eventually, the time will come, and the child will understand that there is no danger, and sleeping in the dark is much more comfortable.

Why are children afraid of thunderstorms? A loud and unpredictable rumble can scare anyone!

Growing up, children begin to accumulate information from news, movies, TV shows and stories about what natural phenomena are really dangerous.

But in fear of thunderstorms, there is also an archaic element that we inherited from our ancestors, who considered natural phenomena to be powerful and wrathful divine forces. Therefore, even being in obvious safety of the house or apartment, the child can be frightened as if a thunderstorm represents a real danger to him.

How to help? It happens that adults themselves are afraid of thunder and lightning.

You can tell the kid: “How loud! I even shuddered in surprise.

When the thunderstorm leaves, there will be no more thunder. ” And then offer the baby to wait until the end of the thunderstorm together: snugly sit on the sofa, hug the baby and watch this powerful action.

You can express admiration for the power of nature: “Wow! What a bright lightning!

How she lit up everything! ”To switch the child’s attention from fear to curiosity.

For a small child, reality and fantasy exist in the same space. In his views, there is no clear boundary separating these two worlds.

Monsters can trap him behind the closet or under the bed, but disappear as soon as you enter the room or turn on the night light.

At the moment when the child moves to his room or from the crib to the “big one”, he can be seized with a keen sense of loneliness and abandonment. He feels the fear of growing up and the need to be independent, but can not realize it and express it in words.

To show fear, you need to find a form, an object, and this form most often becomes monsters, ghosts, villains from fairy tales or cartoons. These horror stories help the baby to show you that something is bothering him, that he is afraid.

How to help? Do not devalue the fears of the child with phrases like: “It’s all fiction!” Or “Do not talk nonsense!”

Yes, there is no one under the bed, but he feels the most real feelings. Do not even assure him that the monster has already left: this way you will not calm your little one, but only strengthen the fears.

In the end, if the horrible creature disappeared, then it still existed!

Try to understand what really bothers the child, and ask him what he could help to be less afraid of. Perhaps he will ask you to sit with him, or leave the night light on, or give his favorite toy. Tell him that he seems to be scared now, but his fear will gradually disappear, and you will help him in this.

So the child will feel that, despite the changes in his life, he is still connected with you by strong ties.

Why are children scared? Despite the fact that dogs have long been domesticated, they are still beasts, and perhaps children feel the bestial nature of these familiar creatures to us more than we adults.

But this is “useful” fear: many dogs bite, and you, of course, do not want the baby to run to stroke any unfamiliar dog.

Also, this fear may be due to the fact that you yourself are afraid of dogs and the baby feels it, or with some unpleasant incident. Dogs are unpredictable, and even their rapid expression of joy can frighten a child.

How to help? This fear is quite natural, but when a child experiences horror at the sight of a dog, it can prevent him from feeling free to walk or visit.

If the crumb is very scared, do not offer him to make friends with the dog, even with the most kind and calm.

Start from afar. Buy books about dogs with good illustrations, show your child what they are, tell them that dogs can, how they are loyal to their owners, playful, affectionate and can be real protectors.

Give the child toy dogs, play with him. Introduce the baby with a cute little puppy that lives with friends or maybe neighbors.

But explain that you can only touch animals with permission and in no case should you drag them by the tail or ears, shout and swing your arms while you are near.

Why are children scared? Does your baby run away from the animators at a party in horror and hide behind you at the sight of clowns and make-up artists?

Of course, because their faces are almost not visible under the mask or thick makeup, and the child is intimidated by an “inhuman” look.

It is difficult to read emotions on a painted face, and the kid cannot understand what this person is going to make, whether he is friendly. In addition, clowns and jesters behave very strange: they have unnatural gestures, loud, harsh voices and an unusual manner of speaking.

How to help? If your kid shies away from clowns and animators, and you are going to a party or a circus, you must honestly tell him what is waiting for him there.

If he is still scared, it is better to take him aside and calm him down.

Often the problem is that parents depend on the opinions of strangers and do not take into account the feelings of the baby. Do not be embarrassed because your child burst into tears at a festival or a circus, he is not obliged to have fun just because adults think it’s fun.

Ask the baby what he’s scared of and promise that if he doesn’t get used to it, you will leave together. This is necessary so that the child feels that he is given time to get used to, and is given the choice of whether to be in this place.

So you will help him to take control of the situation, and then fear, perhaps, will recede.

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