Sometimes the fear becomes so great that the child is afraid to go to bed. However, children are frightened not only by nightmares, but also by darkness, and loneliness, and “bandits-robbers”, and much more.
“Once, Vanya and I got into a terrible downpour. It was a real waterfall from heaven! A hurricane wind blew, thunder roared, lightning flashed now and then.
We walked in the park when a storm suddenly hit, and did not have time to reach the house. Vanya was sitting in a wheelchair with a visor down, covered by my jacket and a waterproof case, but still wept inconsolably – he was very scared. Yes, I myself was not alone.
Since then, Vanya is still afraid to go out in the rain, even if it is slightly drizzling. ”
Elena, mother of 3-year-old Vanya
It is very important to notice that the baby is scared of something, find out the cause of fear, console the baby, pick it up, caress it. In no case do not laugh at the child and do not reproach with cowardice, otherwise the kid will learn that you not only will not help him, but also offend him.
Imagine that you were terribly scared of something, complained to your husband, and your spouse, instead of sympathy and support, made fun of you.
About many children’s problems, we can say that in time their child will outgrow them. However, the situation is different with fears – the baby grows, and his fears grow with him.
Therefore, it is so important to help the child fight the “horrors” of fantasy.
Helping your child overcome himself, do not rush. “Slowly you go – you will continue” – says the famous Russian proverb. It is better to eliminate fears gradually, so that they disappear as if by themselves.
Always remember that his child’s cowardice interferes with life and bothers him much more than you do. Therefore, drive out fear not with sarcasm, but with praise. For example, if a child does not dare to go out into the street in the rain, and only, opening the door, looked out into the street, mark it, tell your relatives (with a child) about his bold act, admire.
The child will certainly want to hear pleasant words from you again, and the next time he will look out again, and then come out on the porch. And so gradually he will be able to overcome his fear, without screams and hysterics.
“I can’t put the baby down every night. Sometimes the son of a scandal is open, and sometimes, although he agrees to go to bed, he runs to the toilet fifty times or has a drink of water. Once Dima confessed to me that he was afraid of bad dreams.
But it seems to me that this is only an excuse for me to sit with him longer. ”
Karina, mother of 3-year-old Dima
At the age of 3-4 years, children begin to learn more about the world, and fears become more difficult. So, many babies do not want to go to bed because of the fear of nightmares, which children perceive as something completely independent of them, and therefore powerful.
Creepy images can haunt a child for years, so moms and dads should not let things take their course, avoiding the theme of bad dreams. Encourage your child to talk about dreams that frighten him, persuade the child to draw ghostly images and be sure to notice funny details in his drawings.
You can also play bad dreams with the help of a puppet theater, bringing unexpected funny twists to events in the plot. Focus the crumbs on the absurdities and absurdities of dreams, leading the child away from accurately reproducing a bad dream and making the end of the play positive.
For example, if in a dream the baby could not run away from the monster, then in the sketch he could pull the fishing line so that the monster stumbled and stretched along the road with grunting and squealing. So, playing out terrible dreams, the child will feel that he is gaining power over dreams, and will no longer be afraid to fall asleep in the evenings.
“When Yana was two years old, we were hospitalized with pneumonia. For Yana, it was a terrible stress, especially since she was injected with antibiotics several times a day.
Since then, Yanochka is terribly afraid of doctors. Even on examination at the pediatrician, she cries and is capricious. No persuasion helps.
I really want to help the child, but I do not understand what to do. ”
Maria, mother of 3-year-old Yana
Many children are afraid of doctors, injections, pain. Fearing the ridicule of their peers, at school age, children overcome such fears. However, here it is worth helping the baby.
Especially if the child had a psychological trauma and remained persistent, little controlled fear of the hospital and doctors. You can read the fairy tales “The Adventures of the Yellow Suitcase” or “Doctor Aibolit”, and then play scenes for these works.
Buy a “doctor’s kit” and play with the child in the hospital. Procedures that cause a child fear, lose as carefully as possible. It is important that the child be both a doctor and a patient.
And let him play different patients: first, a brave and seasoned, and then a timid little panties. Just do not hint to the baby that in real life he behaves exactly like the last, cowardly patient.
And even if the child himself starts a similar conversation, develop his doubts and say that earlier, perhaps, he behaved in a similar way, but today everything is different.
Children who have been in the hospital often have hidden fears. Therefore, to play the “hospital” is necessary only in the complete absence of resistance of the child. If the kid tells you that he doesn’t like this game, he’s tired, he wants to walk / read / draw, then the hospital’s fear is still so strong that it’s worth to postpone the game for a while.
And when you start again, let not a child be “sick”, but a bear cub or a doll, in order to avoid a direct analogy. In the game, show how parents, relatives, friends visit a small patient, bring gifts, gifts, and care. Or the plot can be turned in the other direction: the mother of the little bear came to the hospital, and he visits her and encourages her.
Gradually, when the child stops resisting, he can try to play the patient. Emphasize that the child is a real brave, a hero who has suffered severe moral and physical suffering (and often it is the true truth), that he is respected, valued, loved.
Very often parents confuse the concepts of fear and phobias. However, phobia is a pathological form of horror, which is almost impossible to overcome on its own without the help of a specialist.
So, if your baby is afraid of water, he may cry while swimming, but you can still persuade him to get into the bath. In a child with a phobia, a tantrum begins with just turning the crane, and the baby cannot be persuaded to even wet the feet.
“When Lena was 2.5 years old, we went to a large shopping center. I turned away for a second to pay at the checkout, and when I looked back – Lena and the trace vanished.
The daughter was found pretty quickly, but she was shocked. Since then, the child as a substitute.
Lena is afraid to be alone even in her room! She needs to constantly feel the presence of her relatives. ”
Daria, mother of 3-year-old Lena
As a rule, impressionable, nervous babies who are usually timid, indecisive, have a rich imagination and high intelligence are subject to the fear of loneliness. However, with a developed imagination, they do not know how to occupy themselves, play poorly in single-player games, languish from boredom, they do not have a truly deep inner life.
And since these children do not find a way out of their imagination, their imagination begins to paint chilling pictures to them. Terrible images haunt such babies even in the daytime.
This feature is enhanced if the child has a psychological trauma: he was lost, he was alone in the hospital, was separated from his mother for a long time at an early age, etc. Therefore, the permanent community of other people is so necessary for such children.
To help a child, loneliness, is not only possible, but necessary, first of all directing rich imagination to the creative channel. Teach your child role-playing games, engage in drawing, modeling and play with the baby in the game to overcome the fear of loneliness. For example, a child may play the role of a small puppy that was lost during a walk or in a store: the puppy was confused, frightened, and cried.
Imagine what kind of GOOD events happened to the puppy in the future and how, in the end, it was found by the delighted parents, to whom the puppy told about his interesting adventures. Or you can play a game in which the baby plays the role of a patron: a child (portrays himself), walking on the street, sees a little baby crying with grief and horror, soothes her, takes care of her and helps her find her.
At the end, the happy mother of the little ones and the city authorities award the child with an order of valor and a bold defender.
In addition, gently, without pressure, teach the child to remain in the room alone. First, for a short time, 3-5 minutes, gradually increasing the time period.
But leave the baby for a reason, and promising a surprise. You can even play the game “Sharing surprises”: you go to another room for a gift for the baby, and the child at this time should come up with a surprise for you. Just try to make your gift really happy crumbs, and do not skimp on the praise, getting a “gift” from the child.
Positive emotions and an interesting task will force out fear, and little by little the child will get used to being alone.
Approximately 3-5% of children suffer from phobias, the most common of which is the fear of animals, insects, thunderstorms, darkness and pain. If you suspect that your child develops a phobia, be sure to contact your pediatrician or child psychologist.
In no case do not ignore the problem, because over time it can only get worse.