You write that your son aches if he wants to achieve what he wants or, on the contrary, to avoid something undesirable. So he asserts his “I”, hoping that the one who loves him will follow him. The nagging of a child is addressed, as a rule, to those people from his closest environment, on whom it produces the proper effect.
The more you and your family members react to the son’s nagging, the more often he will use this method of influence to achieve the desired result, fixing it in his behavior. The next time, having heard the rejection, the baby will think that the whines are not good enough and will “try” even more.
Therefore, it is important for the child to make it clear that he will not achieve the desired result with this tactic.
Try to maintain self-control and not get annoyed when the baby starts whining. Encourage his requests when he makes them in a normal tone.
What has been said above does not mean at all that parents should never give the kid anything. If we are talking about unprincipled moments, then you can do it as he asks.
By doing so, you will give him an example of compliance and provide the necessary freedom.
But at the same time, be consistent in your behavior: if the situation requires saying “no”, try not to change your decision. If the child continues to whine, try to switch his attention to another topic, game, etc. Let’s not forget that babies often are naughty, harassed by the requirements “I want” simply because they experience some physiological discomfort (fatigue, hunger, overheating, boredom, etc.).
Having understood what’s the matter, you can eliminate the reason for whining, and, therefore, get rid of it.