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How to achieve obedience: 4 good and 6 bad tactics

How to achieve obedience: 4 good and 6 bad tactics

You have already asked your child several times to put the toys back into place or have reminded him that you cannot turn on the TV without permission, but the child continues to ignore you. How to be? If a child does not obey in any situation, you must first warn him that he may follow his disobedience.

Tell me that you will count to three. Do it loudly to get his attention.

Rare children can resist the “pressure” of the countdown. Of course, provided that your warning is followed by a real punishment.

Ideally, it should be adequate to his misdemeanor. And attention: do not cheat!

If you continue to count to ten, you may lose your parental authority.

To force yourself to obey, it is not necessary to use coercion. Humor, play, ingenuity can sometimes be more effective than direct demand. Dasha is in a bad mood and refuses to touch dinner?

Turn it into a joke: “Get away from Dasha, nasty soup – you spoil her appetite! And she needs strength to go for a walk with friends. ” Timofey forgot to hang a towel in the bathroom?

Pretend you’re surprised: “Have you seen this? Your towel doesn’t want to hang on the hook at all! ”By reacting to the situation with humor, you create a positive atmosphere in which the child relaxes and wants to take part in your game.

Here is another very effective tool that helps in cases where the child is in an overexcited state. Instead of answering him with raised voices, speak calmly to him and ask: “Come to me, I want to tell you something.” An intrigued and slightly bewildered baby calms down to listen to what you want to tell him.

Then lean over to him and whisper in your ear: “Do you know what we have for dinner today? Your favorite macaroni and cheese. Therefore, I ask you not to have a cookie right now. ”

Perhaps this is not enough to distract the child from his “idea of ​​fix”, but the situation certainly will not be so tense.

Yes, let the baby does not always listen to you. But still there are times when he behaves like a perfect child! For example, on the day when he collected his toys on his own, without much persuasion.

Or when he unexpectedly shared candy with his brother. Do not forget to celebrate such actions and praise the child. “You have perfect order in your room, you are a great fellow!”; “How wonderful that you gave half of your sweets to your brother.

You are very kind, I am proud of you. ” These words will not only make the child want to repeat his good deed again, but also increase his self-esteem.

It is better to clearly and clearly formulate a request than to arrange long conversations. Instead: “I want you to play with the brother, because he loves you very much.

When you were three years old yourself, you always wanted to play with older children … “and so on, just say:” Ilya, show your brother how to play this game, and play with him together. “

You should not repeat the same baby several times. Otherwise, he may decide that he is simply not able to understand what is wanted of him from the first time. In addition, he will have the habit of responding to your requests only after the fifth or sixth reminder.

And this, you see, no one needs. Therefore, it is better to say once, but if the baby does not hear, calmly, without screams, once again draw his attention to what you asked him: “Look, your pajamas are lying on the floor.

Raise it, please, and take it to the laundry basket. ” If the child still does not obey, remind him what can happen if he does not do it: “Otherwise, I will turn off the DVD, and instead of watching cartoons, you will go to your room.”

And only if the pussy does not want to obey you this time, go on to actions.

Numerous memories are often followed by threats: “I’m warning you: if you don’t collect details from the designer, scattered on the floor, I’ll throw it in the garbage” or “If you don’t return to the table right now, you will never eat with the guests again “. Very often we allow ourselves excessive threats, which in fact turn out to be empty. And the child quickly understands this!

One more time – and your parental authority will be in doubt.

Each of us had situations when we tried to disguise the impolite nature of our own child in the eyes of others with explanations like: “He spent the whole day in kindergarten and he needed relaxation. In addition, he is still small, it is forgivable to him. “

But this is not the best tactic, because as a result, the crumb may think that this behavior is acceptable, and next time he will not understand why it is impossible to overtake and push apart others, so as to get into the tram as soon as possible, or spin around like a bus bar. Therefore, it is better to do without feigned indifference and intervene, even if it leads to conflict.

“You’re bad,” “Stop behaving like a little,” “Why are you always so unbearable ?!” How many phrases, even if spoken without malicious intent, ultimately give the child the impression that he is bad (while In fact, he only does something wrong, as you think is right). Understand: such phrases will not make him change his behavior for the better, rather, quite the contrary.

To avoid this, next time let the child understand that it’s not him who’s concerned, but how he behaves: “Taking a toy from a brother is not the best thing to do.”

The kid made you mad, and you immediately spanked him. Yes, the child’s behavior was unacceptable, but still, slapping is not the way out. It only says that you have lost control and could not agree with the child in another way, without the use of force.

Remember: spanking has no educational value. Of course, there is a possibility that the child will now obey you.

But he will do it solely out of fear, and not because he understood the validity of your request.

How to achieve obedience: 4 good and 6 bad tactics

Setting the rules is good! But if we want the child to see the meaning in them, we also need them to be:

Clear. The baby should know what he is allowed and what is forbidden to do in the house and why.

For example, you do not allow him to take food from the refrigerator on his own, because make sure that his food is correct, healthy and balanced.

Specific. The child must clearly understand what you expect from him.

Your phrase “You tired me, calm down” will not be very clear to him. Better to say: “Please don’t scream in the car.”

Unchanged. The rules should not change depending on your mood or the time of day.

If today you allow him to jump on the sofa in the living room, and ban him tomorrow, he will not understand. He should be able to understand your behavior and anticipate your reactions.

Logical You are a pattern of behavior for your baby.

So show him an example! If you make him eat broccoli, and you fold it on the edge of the plate yourself, it is illogical.

In the same way, if you demand from the child not to say harsh words, follow your speech.

… had consequences. All children from time to time there is a desire to break the rules, go beyond the limits of what is permitted. Therefore, they should know that their wrongdoings will have consequences.

For example, if a child eats in front of a TV, which is prohibited, make him then clean the sofa.

You have already asked the child three times to pick up his jacket. But he just threw you a defiant look and did not move. You have no choice, the baby needs to be punished.

Otherwise, confident of its impunity, the next time he will only behave worse. But be careful: in no case do not deprive him of walks for a month! “Correct” punishment should be realistic, short-lived and easily executable at the moment.

Does the child refuse to hang the jacket? Close it briefly in the room. He threw a toy truck in the head to his younger brother?

Take away his toy.

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