From birth, the baby receives from you many signals that stimulate or, on the contrary, retard the development of various aspects of his personality. When you pick him up, turn to him, care for him, he feels pleasure, rejoices in you. And this is the basis on which his attitude toward himself, his sense of self-worth will be based.
The world of the baby consists of fragments: mother’s breast or a warm bottle, soft hands, a gentle voice, bright spots of rattles. It will take a little time – and his worldview will become more solid, he will notice that he can even manage his small universe, causing the appearance of milk or dry diaper with a cry. Of course, the baby needs good care, but the main thing that is vital for him is to form a good emotional contact with the mother.
A sense of security and trust is the precious gift he can get from you to successfully go through all the stages of growing up.
Being born, the child continues to be in a state of fusion with the mother, and this period is approximately equal to the time that he spent in the womb. This is a paradise for two, when mom and baby feel one.
But after 8 months, when the baby becomes more and more active, it begins to crawl and stand on its feet, it makes a great discovery: it discovers that it is a separate creature from its mother. This is due to the fact that the crumb is no longer in need of a mother, she is no longer his whole world. This is a period of endless discoveries, when a baby expresses an irrepressible curiosity for everything that surrounds it, and an important time when a baby masters the principle of constancy of people and things.
This means that he can safely endure short-term separation from his mother, since he begins to realize that his mother continues to exist, even if he does not see her. That is why the kids at this age are so fond of playing “cuckoo”.
Despite the joys and discoveries of this period, it is rather difficult for a child. This is the time of the so-called “eight-month anxiety”, when the child begins to be afraid of strangers, often wakes up at night.
The baby is experiencing another birth, now as a separate being. But do not try to extend the time of the merger, no matter how wonderful it is for you, this may complicate the further development of the child.
In these few months of increased sensitivity and anxiety of the child in any case, do not give it to the nursery. It is also undesirable to change a nanny: now he needs a feeling of constancy.
During the first year of life, the child’s vision of himself progresses and becomes, on the one hand, more detailed, and on the other, more integral. Previously, when you touched different parts of his body while changing clothes, you played with arms and legs, his sensations were fragmented.
By the end of the first year, individual sensations are collected into more integral ones, and at the same time, the child learns to better differentiate them. Give him a light massage from head to toe, naming every part of his body.
Pleasant sensations, which he receives at the same time, will help him to feel the boundaries of his body.
At this age, the child becomes unusually mobile: begins to walk, then run, climbs everywhere, as a result, falls and hurts. Inevitable bruises and bumps also help him learn more about his body.
At the age of between 8 months and 1 year, the child experiences a “mirror stage”. At the sight of his image in the mirror, the child feels great pleasure when looking at his reflection.
But in front of the mirror, the child is not alone; he is being held in the arms of someone and points him, with gestures and words, at his own reflection. A child in front of a mirror first of all recognizes another person, an adult, who is nearby and tells him: “Look, it’s you!” And then the child understands: “Yes, it’s me!” At 1.5, he confidently recognizes himself in the mirror, and a little later – in the photo.
This is an important stage in its development. By recognizing his own image, the child receives a visual confirmation of what he feels, which is what creates the solid frame of his “me”.
Want to check if he recognizes himself in the mirror? Make a small smear of lipstick on the cheek of the child.
If he rubs his face, looking at his reflection, then he understands that this is his face.
After 1.5 years, the child begins to show interest in their own kind. At the same time, he perceives the other as his twin, looks at with curiosity, can grab hold of his nose, his hair, or hug too tightly. And if the little friend reacts to such “attention” with fright and crying, the child will be puzzled and confused.
He does not yet understand what is different from the other.
This “twin” is reflected in the games: “You – me”, “Ladushki”, “Catch-up”. Each participant plays the same role in turn, acting as a mirror for the other. In order for a child to become aware that his playmates have their own desires and emotions, give him as many opportunities as possible to communicate with other children.
He must face others in order to gain both positive and negative experiences and find his place among children.
All upside down! From 1 year and 8 months your baby, before such a docile, began to stubbornly and all refuse. Lunch time?
He does not want to sit at the table. Do you want to go for a walk? He does not want to leave the house.
To establish yourself as an individual, a child proves to you that he may have his own opinion, different from yours. And since he cannot give any arguments, he simply says: “No.”
All the life of a small child is regulated by parents, he has too few opportunities to choose. Saying no is a way to label your self. This “crisis of contradiction” is an important sign of a baby’s growth.
If the baby feels that his opinion is considered, if from time to time you accept his refusal, you confirm that he has value to you, that he actually exists. Such behavior of parents will help the child to survive this period less painfully.
Is his stubbornness and rejection driving you crazy? Believe me, he is also very difficult. He is frightened by his own outbursts of anger, he is afraid of losing your love, and during this period violent expressions of love will replace hysterics and disobedience.
But, as soon as the child is convinced that you have not rejected him, everything begins all over again. To soften the life of this difficult period, more often give him a choice. Insist on what matters to you.
The more stable you are in the requirements, the easier it will be for the child to accept the restrictions and reconcile himself to the fact that he cannot control his life yet.
“I!” Between 2 and 3 years old, your child only does what he repeats this word. One more step in self-affirmation! He says “I myself!” To get rid of parental care.
So he continues to defend his right to independent existence, but in a more positive way compared to the “crisis of contradiction”. He says: “To me,” because he wants to receive everything first, before others.
He still does not realize that the other one also has his desires, will. The child is self-centered. For him to watch others play and wait for their turn is torture!
He also categorically refuses to lend his stuff. This is normal. For a child, his toys are part of him.
Lending them is like taking a piece from yourself. By refusal, the child protects himself from the threat against his still fragile personality.
Does the baby look selfish in the eyes of your friends? You should not make excuses or force him to be more generous.
At this age, the child needs to feel in the foreground, to dispose of his territory: respect this period of egocentrism, without which his self-image cannot form. Later you will teach him altruism and generosity.
At the age of 3, the child forms a solid, integral experience of himself. The world of the child is divided into “I” and “others”, and he can designate his attitude to himself and others.
The child is able to articulate what distinguishes him from others. Comparing himself with others, he gets a more or less complete picture of himself. Do not worry if at three years your child still thinks that he is the center of the universe.
Perhaps he is not yet ready to accept the fact that there are billions of stars in the universe. It is necessary for a child to consider himself very strong and important in anticipation when he can truly express himself and establish himself in society.
1–8 months The baby is in a state of deep emotional fusion with his mother.
8–9 months Period of the famous 8-month alarm: don’t change a babysitter and don’t give your baby to the nursery.
1–1.5 years A holistic perception of the body appears, and the baby learns to differentiate its parts. By the age of 1.5, the baby can even show where it hurts.
1.5–2 years A child begins to have an active interest in similar ones. Moreover, it can examine, touch, push, even “try on a tooth”.
In this case, the baby does not understand how the other child differs from itself.
2.5 years your baby is self-centered. He does not realize that other people are also entitled to their desires.
And absolutely does not want to share their things. This is normal. Do not force him to be more generous – it will not lead to anything except unnecessary conflicts.
Learning to share at this age is impossible!