This case is much easier and very common. Most often, the spline in young mummies due to a sharp hormonal adjustment after birth. With breastfeeding, the situation is often aggravated even more by record doses of synthesized prolactin.
As a result, mom’s irritability or sensitivity is greatly increased.
Crying for no reason, strange thoughts “Why is it hard for me and others easy?” Or “I want to get a job as soon as possible!”, Constant complaints to my spouse are the usual manifestations of this period. Like the feeling that life is over.
What should we do? All these feelings and thoughts are absolutely normal.
No need to blame yourself for them. Guilt will only reinforce the negative. It would be nice to call friends who have children.
Surely they also went through it. If not, you can go to the forum for young mummies.
When you need to cry, just hug your husband and share your concerns with him. Just warn him in advance that at these moments nothing is needed except an attentive ear and soothing strokes.
When a baby appears in the family, the spouses move away from each other. Mom is immersed in new cares, dad feels a little out of work. But this is no reason to be angry with each other and think about the immediate divorce.
Some kind of cooling occurs in all, even very healthy families, and this is natural. Now you are no longer two, but three, and this circumstance will have to be considered. And as long as the chick does not fly out of the nest.
Take it for granted: you will objectively have less time for two. And if there are no assistants, then you probably will have to forget about joint breakfasts and evening film screenings.
What should we do? Whatever the circumstances, you should not just try, but to organize the first year so that you have time for two.
Think through the logistics and tricky maneuvers better in advance. On maternity leave, for example, as practice shows, it is easiest to arrange romantic forays on weekends.
Talk with relatives or find a reliable helper in advance so that this dream will certainly come true.
We must not forget that you are not only a mom and dad. First of all you are a man and a woman.
If it were not for these roles, you would not be able to become parents. Conclusion: to be alone, there should be at least two to three hours a week.
As far as possible from children.
Fatigue will accumulate. Someone is faster, someone is slower.
But this is not going anywhere. No one has canceled night feedings and colic. Sleep and wakefulness in the infant will be formed gradually.
Visits of relatives and guests, cleaning, cooking, as a rule, also take a lot of energy. And physical stress always generates psychological.
And internal resources are quickly depleted.
What should I do? Try to relax at any opportunity. Do not neglect the main rule: sleep in the afternoon with the baby.
Redoing all household chores is unlikely to succeed. If it is more important for you to smooth out a pile of linen during a siesta or to shine a bathroom, think at your leisure, are you trying to increase your own suffering in this way? Very often behind such excuses there is a reluctance to devote time to the baby.
After all, if the mother does not sleep enough or does not rest, she simply will not have the strength to play or walk with the child.
Are you tired anyway? Do not force yourself. For a baby in the first year of life, emotional comfort is most important.
And try to provide it. No strength for a long walk, put the stroller on the balcony. But you can rest and then be able to play together.
I do not want to read a fairy tale today, just lie down next to the baby and pat him on the head.
Baby for some time will become the center of your universe. We’ll have to adapt to his regime, habits, needs.
At the same time, most likely, your status will also change: from an active working woman you, albeit temporarily, turn into a young mommy, on whom most of the household chores lay.
What should we do? Usually spouses get used to the new rules of the game by the end of the first year of the baby’s life. Until then, you need to clarify who will be responsible for what in the changed circumstances.
Remember: it is not written anywhere what a good dad should be like, what a good mother should be. This issue has to be resolved independently at the family council.
When you negotiate, consider the wishes of each other. If a spouse hates washing dishes, forcing him to do what he is sick is not the best idea.
Simply buy a dishwasher, and her husband to entrust the night wake.
If you want to be the perfect mommy, the path will not be easy. After all, then you will strive to give the baby all the best.
Neither the nanny nor even the grandmother will be able to cope with this task. Many women do not attract assistants, even if they have such an opportunity.
However, the desire to shoulder the entire burden of worries sooner or later lead to complete physical exhaustion. And there and to a nervous breakdown.
What should I do? Not everyone is able to ask for help from relatives, but this skill is extremely important.
Many wives are accustomed to think that a husband should guess everything himself and offer the help and support that is currently required. This is an erroneous tactic. It gives rise to many omissions, secret resentment and growing mutual discontent with each passing day.
While you are not clearly articulate what you need, no one will guess. Neither your husband nor your parents.
As soon as possible, give up the idea that you are not obliged to help. Children are members of a large family.
There is nothing strange that you are counting on the help of relatives, because you are doing an important thing for the benefit of the entire clan.
After the birth of the baby, many moms start to divide life into before and after. And sometimes the transformations are really cardinal.
A sloppy tail, a boring robe, sneakers instead of heels, permanent jeans did not help to strengthen any marriage. Refusal of make-up, favorite activities, meetings with friends have not increased self-esteem.
Try to avoid this error, because it can lead to serious trouble. If you deny yourself everything, life will very soon lose its color, and at some point you will simply cease to respect yourself. Then enjoy the pleasure of motherhood will not work.
And on the baby, you will start to fall apart first.
What should I do? Do not dive into motherhood with your head, completely forgetting about yourself. You are not only a mother, but also an individual with your own interests and needs.
Suppose that after the birth of a baby you will have to noticeably curb your appetites, but you should certainly reserve the opportunity to do your favorite thing, at least in a truncated form. In order for your husband or grandparents to regularly set you free, make it clear to them that you cannot live without it. Such a formulation leaves little chance for failure.
Remember that demanding, as well as giving ultimatums, is wrong. Be flexible and take into account the schedule of employment of loved ones.