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First 10 crises

First 10 crises

Behind the months of pregnancy, childbirth, and here you have a little miracle. Do not doubt, this baby will reshape your life, make you rewrite your needs and desires for your schedule.

For several years you are his hostage and the closest person. But believe me, not only you, but this karapuz will not be easy – especially the first one and a half years.

As Gabriel Garcia Marquez wrote in the novel Love at the Time of the Plague, “. man is not born once and for all on the day when his mother brings him to the world, but. life forces him again and again – many times – to be born anew. ” And if Marquez is a metaphor, in relation to the baby, it is close to the truth.

The development of the newborn occurs quickly and dramatically. Just yesterday, he seemed not to notice you, and today he is greeted with a smile and joyful grunt, more recently he could be left alone on the parent’s bed, and now he, having turned over, has barely dropped from her. His new skills appear unexpectedly and are accompanied by bright emotional outbursts.

From quiet baby becomes capricious, from fun – irritable. And at such moments, he seems to want to be one with his mother. Not only because it is helpless: you are his refuge, where he came from and where he so wants to return.

And if the cause of anxiety of the infant and endless crying is not health problems (which cannot be ruled out and should be checked), you should know: this has a scientific explanation, namely, the so-called growth and development jumps experienced by the child. Till one and a half years there will be ten of them. So many times during this time, the child seems to be born again.

And this is directly connected with the work of the brain and its transitions to a “different”, higher-quality level. As a bonus after periods of crisis – the newly acquired skills and abilities of the baby.

All children are different, but they experience growth jumps, if not clearly at the same time, then during normal development in exactly the right order. For the convenience of moms, there is an averaged scheme to which you can navigate.

We put it in a special calendar.

The average crisis periods begin at 5, 8, 12, 15, 23, 34, 42, 51, 60 and 72 weeks. The duration of each – from one to several weeks.

Keep in mind: if your baby was born earlier or later, you need to determine the starting point yourself – for premature babies, growth jumps happen later than their peers.

Leitmotif: “I hear, I see, I feel, I cannot explain”

What can the baby now:

  • smiles;
  • examines objects in his field of vision;
  • listens carefully to the sounds and pronounces its own;
  • reacts to touch.

Cries for no reason, naughty. And all because once, waking up, the baby found that the world around was different. The only thing that is clear and close to him is mother.

So he demands the persistent cry of her constant attention. Often lies on the stomach: for him such a pose is also a symbol of security.

What should parents do?

Keep calm. Take the baby in your arms, press to yourself. It is not necessary to interrupt breastfeeding during this period.

If you adhere to the schedules of feeding and sleeping, during the crisis period it is better to refuse them.

Develop child skills. “Mirror” his behavior: he smiles – smile back. Talk with the baby, say the syllables: “Ma, pa, ba, yes”, react to his sounds, repeat after him. The karapuz now starts attentively to consider the one who communicates with him, recognizes the mom, the dad – designate the one who talks to him, nurses.

Remember that a child during this period distinguishes objects at a distance of about 30 centimeters. Do not rush things – do not try to show all the toys at the same time.

Choose today one, tomorrow another. Bring her to the baby, then take her first to one, then the other. Visual gymnastics should be short – minutes 2-3.

Develop the tactile sensations of the toddler: let him feel objects with different surfaces.

First 10 crises

At first, all movements of a child are chaotic, the first thing that appears to him is the ability to focus his eyes on objects. It is important to provide him with the right toys that will help him develop this ability.

It can be mobiles (suspended roundabouts) or contrast rattles. But the most interesting object for the baby during this period is the face of the mother.

There is a correct position in which she must hold the child, somewhere at a distance of 35–40 centimeters from her face, so that the little one focuses on her, examining the features of the face. This is the most important developmental exercise for him. The first smile of a child is a very important moment, this is his social debut, one of the milestones of development.

Up to six weeks, the newborn seemed to look inward, and then it seemed to unfold in our world. To see the face of an adult for him is a must.

Psychologists in search of a solution to the problem of mental retardation of newborns in children’s homes have thought up to hang a picture of a person in front of a baby or even a ball with a painted face.

8–9th week (peak 8th week)

Leitmotif: “Here I am!”

What can the baby now:

  • holds his head, turns it, watching the subject;
  • discovers that he has hands and feet, carefully examines them;
  • distinguishes sounds, taste, smells;
  • holds the toy in his hands;
  • tries to roll over from the back to the stomach and back;
  • he is curious about everything that moves;
  • loudly declares itself, attracting attention.

The world has become so large and diverse for the toddler, the amount of information is so great that it confuses him. Where is salvation?

Of course, next to my mother. And if you learn everything, then only with her.

So he demands it all the time and is so glad when she reacts to him.

What should parents do?

Take the hands of the baby and carry around the apartment, take it out of the pram on the street, show various objects, people, explain what and who it is. Let’s crumble in the hands of a toy.

Let him study himself. Fingering with him fingers, touch his ears, nose, eyes, show them on yourself and say, everything is called. React to what the crumb says, answer, let him understand that you hear him.

Talk to him about what you see and do. Turn on the music, quiet classical, when the baby falls asleep or is worried and naughty;

In the period of wakefulness try something rhythmic. But do not impose on him what you like.

Watch what the baby is interested in and follow him. Expand the horizons that are important to the child.

At 6–7 weeks, the so-called visual development of the arm occurs, the child begins to look attentively at his fingers, fists. He still does not understand that they are his.

He should not be all the time in the hands of his mother, although this is what he wants. So the crumb really sees a lot of interesting things, but in this case he slowly has a visual opening of the hand. It is necessary to lay it down.

Then at three months he will be able to hold the rattle himself and deliberately consider it.

Leitmotif: “I’m turning over”

What can the baby now:

  • sees the surrounding space as a whole, rather than individual objects;
  • makes smooth, not sharp body movements;
  • learns to own a voice, changes the pronunciation from a quiet sound to a loud one and vice versa;
  • attracts attention not only crying, but squealing, laughing.

First 10 crises

As usual during such periods, it requires increased attention. The kid may become either too sluggish, apathetic, badly eaten or, conversely, roll up tantrums. In short, his behavior should change dramatically.

Now he is also suspicious of outsiders.

What should parents do?

Teach the child to take objects, placing them at close range, so that he can easily reach them. Develop a tactile sensation of the child. Let him touch toys from different materials.

Play with him: put him on his knees and rock him, take him in his arms, imitate the flight of an airplane and land him. Come up with your entertainment. And speak, speak, speak.

Do not be silent, thinking that while he does not understand you.

From 3 to 4 months, the child begins to roll over, first involuntarily, then consciously. And here it is important to organize him not too hard, but not a soft surface, so that the baby was comfortable lying on his back.

Parent bed is not the best platform for experiments. Its surface is too springy or loose.

Ideal if you cook a soft gymnastic mat, moderately elastic. And most importantly – give freedom to the baby so that he can carry out these coups.

Attachment theory is now in vogue – parents always strive to carry a child in their arms; Contact is indeed very important, but it is equally important to train the crab’s motor skills.

Leitmotif: “I understand how”

What can the baby now:

  • can not just take a toy and squeeze it with his hands, but also reach out to the object, turn it in his hands, view from all sides;
  • not just walking, but for the first time can say “mom” or “dad”;
  • may begin to creep, its range of possibilities for understanding the world is significantly expanding.

Karapuz understands that some events can occur at his request – this surprises and scares him. He strives to crawl down, being in your arms, while crying, tends to take the pose of a newborn.

What should parents do?

Keep in mind: before the crumb was enough that he was carried on his hands, now, in order to distract him, you need to constantly do something with him, invent new entertainments. Only physical contact becomes small.

It is important how the environment of the baby is organized: it happens that with all the abundance of toys he does not have successful ones. They are too big, too bright, too loud.

It happens that the child hits himself with a rattle and stops showing interest in it – it becomes frightened. Toys should be compact, lightweight, comfortable to capture.

Big and bright children will appreciate later.

Leitmotif: “I’m moving.”

What can the baby now:

  • coordinates the movement of arms and legs better, moves more;
  • begins to realize that there are distances between things.

It becomes more shy, reluctantly goes to others in his arms. It is important for him to see his mother in his field of vision.

Cuddles toys: they give him a sense of security.

What should parents do?

The kid is becoming more active, you have to watch him much more closely than before. The child needs your continued support, so he can learn to control the space around him and get rid of fears.

Now he can calm down not only in the arms of his mother, but also switch to some kind of little book or toy.

The stationary creature becomes mobile. The kid begins to push off from the surface, swing.

He develops skills that go into crawling and getting up with support.

Leitmotif: “I Explore”

What can the baby now:

  • begins to unite the surrounding objects on the “shelves”: toys, people, things. Searches for and finds similarities and differences between them, his behavior becomes more conscious;
  • understands that objects differ in consistency or color and taste –that and collects crumbs from the floor, passes mashed potatoes between fingers, takes porridge with hands and tries everything;
  • may not yet begin to speak, but makes it clear that he understands a lot.

This crisis threshold is perhaps the most difficult from a psychological point of view. The kid has a distrust of others.

It becomes restless, moody, demanding, impatient. And again tends to cuddle up to mom.

What should parents do?

Do not forbid your child to study objects that seem dangerous to you. The main thing, let everything happen under your control. Let him and encourage him to press, turn on – in a word, experiment.

Ask him to do something, give it to you. Praise if copes.

The child’s research organ during this period is the mouth and hands. Everything that comes into his field of vision, he seeks to taste, taste.

Let him if it can not hurt.

Leitmotif: “All one after another”

What can the baby now:

  • first time trying to fold, construct;
  • learns to perform actions in a certain order;
  • he likes to destroy and scatter things.

The kid is ready for anything, just to be with you. Grabs her mom, climbs her.

Requires that he was constantly engaged. For the first time shows jealousy.

Worried, not sleeping well and sleeping. Starts to play about.

What should parents do?

Involve the child in your household chores, entrust him with something. Explain what you are doing (cook, clean), give him a rag, pan, spoon. Offer to help you when you dress him, comb, brush his teeth.

Allow your baby to eat with a spoon. Play “palms”, “magpie-crow”, hide the toy and look with it.

Until the child was one year old, the most important level of communication for him was physical. As psychologists say, the achievement of the first 6 months is, of course, emotional communication with the mother, and the main result of the first year of life is confidence in the world. After a year and a half, a new stage of development of communication between mother and baby begins.

A child becomes a person, masters speech, acquires his own opinion. Then everything will not be so smooth and calm in their relations, they will go through difficult times – a crisis of three years, seven, adolescent.

First 10 crises

Leitmotif: “I know how”

What can the baby now:

  • finds its own approaches to solving any problems;
  • understands what it means to wash, call, get dressed, sit at the table, go to the store;
  • knows that this can be achieved in different ways.

Most children need attention, regular classes. The mood of a baby can change dramatically. He goes into himself, thinks, dreams, can stare into emptiness.

Or, on the contrary, it is harmful, to attract attention to yourself by disobedience, especially when you are busy. It can get angry if you ban something.

What should parents do?

Give your child the opportunity to do “adult” business with you: set the table, reach for food, ask for something to bring. The child is well soothed by water – give him the opportunity to tinker with her: let him wash the dishes, bathe the doll, the toy.

A caprice is purposeful behavior aimed at getting a result when the baby knows that he should behave well, but he behaves badly. After a year, the child may appear the first signs of negativity.

Leitmotif: “I myself!”

What can the baby now:

  • acquires the ability to discover and apply his “principles”: he does not follow the program, but creates it himself, makes changes and even evaluates it;
  • learns to tumble, climb;
  • holding a pencil;
  • imitates some actions;
  • fooling around, making faces.

He can demand: I want to do it and I will. He arranges tantrums, insists that they take into account his interests.

Whines and attracts attention. Examines the reactions of others to their behavior.

He wants to be independent, to do everything himself, but he does not always understand how. Checks the consistency of the concepts of “yes” and “no.”

What should parents do?

Try not to interfere with him, give him the opportunity to try and make independent decisions. If the baby is aggressive, explain that you are not happy about it.

Conduct negotiations with the baby. Explain the boundaries of what is permitted, the concepts of “yes” and “no”, teach them to follow.

The variant of the norm for the start of walking is from 7 months to 1 year and 4 months. If this does not happen now, you should pay attention, show the baby to a specialist.

Leitmotif: “I, you, we, they”

What can the baby now:

  • begins to be flexible in applying the principles and trying on the circumstances. At this age, the formation of conscience begins;
  • understands that his actions lead to certain events, that he has power over things, is able to make decisions;
  • notes that other people have different preferences;
  • notices the differences between his and others;
  • draws surrounding objects, himself.

More excitable, wants to be with my mother all day long. Sometimes a child may seem unbearable to you in his perseverance.

What should parents do?

Give the output of his energy. Fool around, make noisy games, blow bubbles, run.

This is the period when the child chooses what interests him. Be careful, watch, try to figure out what abilities and inclinations he is endowed with. Encourage his new skills and interests.

Let your child become familiar with a variety of systems. Now he wants to order – give him the opportunity to enjoy it: buy puzzles, explain how to collect them.

When the one-year-old child has gone, it is clear that he is running, where his legs are being carried – the earth is turning under him. And the one-and-a-half-year-old specifically moves from point A to point B, he has a clear route. He may stumble along the road, but he understands where he wants to go.

This is a qualitatively different level.

Ekaterina Burmistrova, family psychotherapist, narrative practice, child psychologist, head of the Burmistrov Family School, mother of 11 children. Site ekaterina-burmistrova.com

A person, in principle, is prone to spasmodic development, there is no upward straight line, it is always a curve, in which there are sharp jerks and almost flat sections. Peaks are development crises, it is they that mean a transition to a qualitatively new level, when what the child seemed impossible yesterday, the child does without any external impulse, without learning, as if from the inside. I call it the spring of development.

A segment of up to one and a half years encompasses microcrisis, they are very sharp, the baby literally goes to another level overnight. Later there will be smooth crises of two years, three, teenage and so on.

I have been working with young parents for 22 years and I understand how a clear division by weeks can put pressure on them. Such a calendar, on the one hand, gives a sequence of what should be expected from a baby, but, on the other, it can turn on anxiety in moms and dads: they say, why this has not happened to my child yet.

Know: each crumbs individual pace of development. In addition, there is the notion of a variant of the norm in which there is a wide variation.

Let’s say the normal variant, when a child can begin to pronounce the first words, from 6 months to a year and 10 months.

The pace of development, firstly, depends on heredity. There are families where children develop intellectually ahead of time.

And in others everything is very agile, but they say, for example, they start late. In either case, the point is not in nutrition, not in developing techniques. Secondly, there are individual features of the child.

Baby choleric temperament, zinger, all stages of development will be faster than a balanced baby.

Nevertheless, the stages of development it is useful to know and take into account, to be aware of what can happen to a child, what is its next step. Otherwise, say, the baby is lying on the floor on the rug, it is spinning, but it does not move yet, and the mother quietly leaves him, and at some point comes, and he is already nibbling the charge from the phone or the wire from the outlet, because he has learned to crawl sharply.

If you are warned about growth, you can understand what you need to be ready for.

What is important is not so much the exact time of the steps, as the understanding of the variants of the norm and respect for the sequence of jumps, this is really very important. Be careful if a child misses a stage. For example, if a child does not respond to sounds or he doesn’t have a smile for a long time, but he has already turned over and crawled, then you should be wary.

Why is smile so important? Because its absence indicates an autistic spectrum.

Parents of these newborns may not understand this, think: this is our child so serious.

It is good when an infant is supervised by an experienced doctor (ideally a family doctor) who has seen a huge number of children. He has a keen eye, intuition, flair for nuances. If parents have doubts, it is worthwhile to show the child to a specialist, but do not include anxiety.

It is enough once every three months to take the baby to an experienced person. It is great if the baby’s mother goes to classes in baby groups, observes the peers of her baby, communicates with those parents who are not the first child, they can tell if they should be worried.

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